Psalm 63:1-8
1) O GOD, You are my God; early will I seek you; my should thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry & thirsty land where there is no water.
2) So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power & Your glory.
3) Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.
4) Thus I will bless You while I live; I will life up my hands in Your name.
5) My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, & my mouth shall praise you with joyful
lips.
6) When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches.
7) Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8) My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 6:6
I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.
Psalm 69:3
I am weary with my crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Isaiah 40:28, 30-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints no is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
So Father, I have a bad attitude. I am weary of seeking You, I am weary of wanting to thirst, desiring to long, of looking, of seeing one day and not the next, of needing to praise but not wanting to or at the very least feeling as though I do not have the strength to praise. "Knowing' His lovingkindness is better than life one day and then wondering about it the next. What about remembering, I am tired of remembering, I am tired of trying to be glad that there is life. I am more weary than I can say of hearing myself whine and complain of feeling this way. I am sick of crying or wanting to cry. I am weary of attempting even pretending that I am good when the fact is I am just not okay, I am exhausted and putting one foot in front of the other is more than I even want to do sometimes. I am so weary of thinking that maybe, just maybe I am making progress and then I am not or at least I feel like I am not. Help me God to stop whining and yet truly I am thankful that I can tell You all about it and You love me irregardless. I am so frustrated with myself please help me to take Your Word and allow You to renew my mind, to cast my cares upon You, to be still and know that You are God. May I stop spending the time in frustration at myself and realize that each persons suffering, mine as well, is a vehicle that You can and will use to draw me into Your presence. Forgive me for this bad attitude, for this frustration and help me to look wholly to You and get my eyes off myself. I cannot do it in my own strength, but Your Word promises that You will give me the strength I need Jesus if I come to You.
I heard a profound statement by Andy Stanley yesterday from his "Twisted" sermon series... "Suffering is really the shortest route to God." When I consider that it makes sense and yet who among us wants to 'sign up' for suffering. He went on to say that to have bad days is normal because our lives have been decaying from the beginning when sin entered the world but we have HOPE because Jesus came, He lived, He died and He rose again so that you and I can have salvation from this life of sin and hopelessness. So weakness is normal and it is a mistake to ask what is wrong with me, it is just part of this life that we live until the day we get to heaven. His Scripture passage was in Romans 8:18-32.
(SERIOUSLY, go listen online to the Andy Stanley sermon series, Twisted. This was #3 - I would love to hear your feedback on this entire series).
Andy Stanley also quoted C.S. Lewis, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
So my attitude needs to change and slowly it is this morning as I gripe to God (with an audience, I guess;) and in realizing that what I go through is His opportunity to show the world Himself...if I submit. Though I grow weary of even being 'used' by Him to reveal Himself, He understands and He renews my strength and restores my hope.
Well, Lord, I do want to submit. I am loving Psalm 63:7 which says, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN MY HELP, therefore in the SHADOW OF YOUR WINGS I will rejoice. Forgive me for often just wanting my own way not caring what You are accomplishing through it. I pray You would give me eyes to see and ears to hear what You have for me. Thank You for the realization that You have been my help, You are my help and You will continue to be my help and that I can hide in the shadow of Your wings and not only that but I will find Your strength there to rejoice, not in what is going on necessarily or what isn't happening fast enough, etc. but IN YOU and the fact that You are my help and that Your right hand upholds me!!! You do not get weary! You do not let go! You do not tire of me though I regularly tire of myself! You neither faint, nor grow weary, not ever!!! You promise to renew my strength if I will chose to wait on You. You will enable me to not just walk again, but run. Thank You, God, that Your understanding is unsearchable! May I rejoice in You as I go through this day regardless of what my body feels like or my mind tries to say, may I go back to Your Word and the truths that You provide. Thank You that I can come to You in any state: sad, whiny, with a bad attitude and if I pour my heart out to You then You will bring me to a place of resting in You, a place of rejoicing in You for You, God are worthy to be praised!!!! Thank You, Lord for Your lovingkindness, Your steadfastness, Your mercy, Your grace, Your forgiveness and for Your peace and hope that You will provide. I surrender, I submit again and again. Please get my attention when I fall back into the same attitudes and sin...may I repent and look to You. Thank You again for never ever growing weary and for loving me regardless.
No comments:
Post a Comment