A chance to make a difference?

I have a multitude of thoughts running through my mind today.  Father, please clarify and show me what You would have me say.  I am loving the chance to have a voice.  Does anyone out there understand what I mean?  A chance to share, a chance to be heard, hopefully a chance to make a difference for the kingdom of God.

So I had an appointment this morning.  Before I left the Lord gave me a clear idea of how to say thank you and perhaps minister to some people who have been helpful in this journey I am on.  People who are simply doing their job and yet they ministered to me with such kindness and compassion that I really needed them to know that what they do makes a difference.  Some of them I know belong to Jesus and others I know do not yet.  I have been praying for some of them specifically and asking God for a chance to point to Him.  Well, He did that in two ways today.  In one way quite unexpected.

I was driving about 60 mph in the third lane of the Watterson Expressway (next to the fast lane) when all at once my car died...because of the Lord and His protection I was able to put on my hazards and after a semi-truck whizzed by me ease my way to the emergency lane.  It was all so unexpected, so scary and it all happened in a split second.  As I made it to the emergency lane with out being hit, praise God, I was trying to figure out what to do.  The engine restarted without me even coming to a stop...I can't explain it.  I did reach for the key, but I do not know if I started it myself or not...didn't seem like it.  Anyway the gauges were fine, nothing appeared to be wrong with the car so I shakily continued driving to my appointment.  God graciously allowed me to make it to my appointment and then I proceeded to thank the ladies who have made such a difference in my world...as the Lord had told me to by leaving some snacks and a note.

Well, the second opportunity came to point to Him when I began to tell the lady who would be taking my blood pressure...that it might be slightly higher than normal and why :-/  This same lady is the one I met my first time visiting this office and in discussion with her realized she is not a Christ follower; however she believes in God...I have since returned to the office and have not had the opportunity to talk with her again until today. Anyway, I have been praying for her salvation and the chance to get to share Christ with her in the days to come.  To build a relationship and share what He is doing in me as she quickly dismissed any references to Christ previously.  As I tell her briefly what had occurred she became completely engaged in my story.  She said you do know that you were divinely protected don't you?  And she proceeded to tell me a personal story about a close family member who was involved in a crash...and lived to tell about it.   I assured her that I did know that the Lord protected me and how incredible it is to know that God is Sovereign, that He is in control.  She proceeded to give me a hug...the second time she has done this!   Huge, I think!  She was more shook up than I even was and I am sharing this because, I find it incredible that God would give me such an experience so that I could relate with her on another level.  In one of my darkest moments of depression I met her the first time and shared with her of my desire to rely on Jesus...she was incredibly kind, compassionate and helpful.  Well, unbeknownst to me...all this would occur today...after I had written a thank you note and prayer out for the office staff and left it along with some snacks.  I am praying that God will use this experience today...a dramatic one for me and one that caused her to relieve an extremely difficult time in her own life and the fact that He had me leave a card pointing to Him in the office, in a way that will draw her and any of the others that do not know Jesus into a personal relationship with Him.  He knew I would be leaving a personal note before this all occurred.  He knew that today she would be the particular person to sign me in.  He knew that she would be affected by my experience and on and on!  Please pray with me for her.  God knows her name as I do not want to share it here.

Wow, isn't God good!  I am so glad that He is giving me eyes to see Him in the moment by moment.  That He has used medication to help clear my mind and allow me to focus more earnestly on Him without being at a point of desperation emotionally.  I am thankful that He has had a plan for me even through those valleys of darkness and that He promises to never leave me or forsake me.  He is even using us for His sake when we are certain there is no way He could. He promises the same to you.  He will provide answers.  Are we willing to trust Him?  Wait for Him?  I so want to, don't you?

Just so you are not confused by my enthusiasm, I still hurt...my wounds are not all healed but surrendering to His lead and being willing to follow medical advice is making a profound difference.  Please do not let the words of others or the expectations you may have for yourself keep you from being determined to seek help if you need it; whatever your issue is.  We all have issues.  We are all imperfect and we all hurt.  Trust me, it is not worth trying to fix everything yourself...it does not work...eventually it will catch up to you.  I can honestly say, God led me to help on multiple occasions through the years but rather than follow through I assumed I needed to be more spiritual, that I needed to do more and be more.  It just isn't true.  I am thankful that He never gave up on me and He finally got my attention once again.  I am treasured by Him...so are you.  Prayerfully He continues to open my eyes.  When I struggle, and I do, I pray that He will convict me and comfort me.  May we allow Him to use our experiences, our pain, our journey's to be a benefit to someone else.

Let Him help You.  Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you, 1 Peter 5:7.  And when you cast it...let it go.  When you pick it back up again...cast it again...then let it go.  I am convinced that He can handle it...I am convinced that He is at work...Ask Him for the strength to cast it...for the strength to let it go.  I am praying for you as You do so...please pray for me.  Father God, may we truly learn to trust You with our cares.  When we fall, may we have Your strength to get back up and cast our cares once again.  You are at work...all the time.  May we have eyes to see You and Your provision.  May we choose moment by moment to walk on this journey of life Your way, not our own.  Have Your way in us.  May we glorify You.  Thank You for Your amazing love and Your faithfulness.