Psalm 90:12-17

Psalm 90:12-17
12) Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.
13) LORD - how long?  Turn and have compassion on Your servants.
14) Satisfy us in the morning with Your faithful love so that we may shout with joy and be glad all our days.
15) Make us rejoice for as many days as You have humbled us, for as many years as we have seen adversity.
16) Let Your work be seen by Your servants, and Your splendor by their children.
17) Let the favor of the Lord be on us; establish for us the work of our hands - establish the work of our hands!

This Journey His Way often has ups and downs and surprise turns that cannot be guessed or expected; however the main thing is that regardless of where He allows my path to go He is with me and He will and does satisfy me with His faithful love!  I am grateful.  I have recently had a pretty bad reaction to some medicine I had been on and truly I am grateful to be on this side of it ;-)  In the midst of being sick though He has taught me much and I am truly thankful.  Recently a song by Jason Gray had caught my attention and even more so today as I ponder life.  The title of the song is, "Nothing's Wasted." Although I enjoy the whole song there is one line that stands out... 'Nothing is wasted in the hands of our Redeemer.'  I have been considering this but I am finding the truth in that statement.  I am so grateful that wherever God allows our path to go He is with us, He has a purpose and a plan and He will redeem us in it.  I am learning much in this season of my life and I have much more to learn I am quite sure.

Consider with me the importance of numbering our days.  Numbering our days in the sense that we become grateful for each moment.  My mother -in-love recently has had a confirmation of the early stages of Alzheimer's (if you know her no need to mention it, just pray for her, granddad and each of us, please) and with that among some other experiences God is truly reminding me the importance of today and the people in our lives.  We often say that 'relationships and people' are what are important and yet if we analyze how we spend our time and resources is that really true in our lives or just an ideal?  Something to think about, pray about and ask God to reveal His ways in.

I do not know about you, but I truly do crave to develop wisdom in my heart.  I find reality to often be much different than that though.  I find that I 'think' I have some wisdom but when it comes to doing more than say it I am quite at a loss.  I am grateful that God; however knows all about me and He is willing to continually meet me where I am and even not allow me to stay there no matter how hard I might dig in my heels and fight.  What a relief to know, to truly know, that He is in charge and that I am accepted by Him because of Jesus, not my own merit or works.  I mention this often I know, but each day I hope to grasp just a bit more how much I matter to Him because He made me and because He loves me not because of who I am or what I do.  So easy to say, but oh so hard to live in that truth for me.  I easily fall back into the trap of being a 'human-doing' instead of 'human-being' (as was recently pointed out to me.  I have lived with so many wrong perceptions for so long that often times I do not even know that they are wrong.  Praise God, He is at work and He is revealing to me His Truth and His ways.  So to number our days, not in an anxious, wringing our hands, what are we gonna do way, but number our days with a confident expectation in Christ Alone and trusting Him that He is at work and He is in charge.  He has me, He has those I love as a matter of fact He has it all in His hands!

I have experienced the compassion of the LORD many times, but each time it is like the first He so overwhelms me.  I so don't deserve His compassion, His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness, His love, His time, His strength (and on and on); however I am ready to shout out my gratitude to Him and for Him!  I desire to be able to shout for joy and be glad all my days (and I will certainly be able to in heaven) but I want to practice now!  I need to focus on the positive things rather than the negative.  I need to give myself a break and really know that I can take care of myself and that is not selfish, but healthy and therefore enables me to continue to take care of others as I enjoy doing.  I must allow Him to fill me though, instead of thinking I must constantly give and therefore I end up 'giving' and 'serving' out of my lack rather than out of His abundance!  There is nothing so wearisome as trying to do everything in your own strength.  I have Christ and His power, why would I want to continue to strive and continue to attempt to take care of things myself, foolishness, huh?

He is humbling me in ways I never expected and yet I do truly find that I am grateful because in this humbling process He has revealed so much pride and so much wrong thinking and allowed me to be truly sick of it and want more of Him and less of me (John 3:30); finally more than words to me.  I believe He has me at a place where I am willing to do whatever it takes to be who, where and what He wants me to be.  I want to rid myself of all expectations for myself and for others and truly look to Him for His moment by moment direction.  Please pray for me as this battle is hard and this journey is in so many ways beyond what I could have imagined and not all the twists and turns have been or are pleasant, believe me, but worth it...truly worth it.  I have seen and known adversity, just as you have and we will again and again as long as we live on this earth, but praise God He allows us to rejoice, He allows us to see His work and His splendor.  Truly there is nothing like seeing Him work. Oh, Lord give me eyes to see!  Did you see verse 17?  We can ask for His favor to be upon us and trust that He will establish the works of our hands - He will!

Father God, through much pain and adversity You have and are showing me just how wonderful You are, how trustworthy, how faithful and how true!  Thank You for the humbling process of realizing over and over again that I have nothing to bring, I have nothing to offer and yet You treasure me!  I am a pearl of great price to You!  Unbelievable and almost inconceivable, but I do declare that I believe You and I see!  Thank You for opening my eyes, for once again rescuing me and continually placing my feet upon the firm foundation of Your Word and Your Truth.  Please God help me to decrease that You may increase.  Enable me to learn to number my days and not quickly forget this lesson (and many others) that You have begun to teach me.  Help me to grow in Your wisdom in my heart and in application in the days ahead.  May I apply those things that You reveal and may I trust Your strength, Your plans, Your direction and simply obey...simply be.  God forgive me for being so often dissatisfied and not grateful to You and for You.  Please change me from deep with in and connect the things I think I know, the things that You have revealed, to my heart and allow me to know them and practice them.  May I point to You and bring You glory.  God, thank You for allowing nothing to be wasted that I go through and experience and for redeeming me, but even beyond redeeming me, YOU ARE MY REDEEMER!  Wow!