Time, travail, trust

Holman Christian Study Bible - Title above Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 is "The Mystery of Time."  Hmm, interesting title.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15
1) There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven:  2) a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot;  3) a time to kill and a time to heal;  a time to tear down and a time to build;  4) a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;  5) a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing;  6) a time to search and a time to count as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away;  7) a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak;  8) a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.  9) What does the worker gain from his struggles?  10) I have seen the task that God has given people to keep them occupied.  11) He has made everything appropriate in its time.  He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end.  12) I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life.  13) It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts.  14) I know that all God does will last forever; there is no adding to it or taking from it.  God works so that people will be in awe of Him.  15) Whatever is, has already been, and whatever will be, already is.  God repeats what has passed. 


Commentary by Matthew Henry concerning verses 10 and 11, "There is a great deal of toil and trouble to be seen among the children of men.  Labour and sorrow fill the world.  This toil and this trouble are what God has allotted us.  He never intended this world for our rest, and therefore never appointed us to take our ease in it.  To many it proves a gift.  God gives it to men, as the physician gives a medicine to his patient, to do him good.  This travail is given to us to make us weary of the world and desirous of the remaining rest.  It is given to us that we may be kept in action, and may always have something to do; for we we're none of us sent into the world to be idle.  Every change cuts us out some new work, which we should be more solicitous about, than about the event."

Just thinking about the word and principle of time today.

Have you ever had time come to a complete standstill?  You have if you have experienced tragedy or some event that completely rocked your world.  If you are like me you have an 'idea' of what time should look like each day and low and behold it does not.  In fact it is so radically different than anything you could have imagined that somehow you wonder if you will survive it.  Well, each of us faces these moments in varying degrees and with different responses, but I am here to tell you that time does march on; regardless.  You may think life is over.  You may think you will never be able to put one foot in front of another, have yet one more coherent thought and somehow you do.  It is just what we do.  Time does not stop regardless of how it feels, looks, tastes or whatever.  It just does not, no matter how much we might wish it too or hope it would.  Do you know what I mean?

Have you ever had this particular experience?..."This travail is given to us to make us weary of the world and desirous of the remaining rest."  Do you desire heaven?  I do.  My problem (one of them at least) has been that while I have allowed this 'travail' (what a descriptive word, travail -- painfully difficult or burdensome work, toil; pain, anguish or suffering resulting from mental or physical hardship) to make me weary of the world and desire rest, I have not allowed it to keep me in action - in truth in many ways I have become 'paralyzed' and 'ineffective'.  I have spent many years taking care of others, not in the self-less way you might imagine but in a way that was more concerned with how I looked to others or what 'blessings' God might have for me or more subtly that I would be 'a godly woman, wife and mom.  This in itself is not bad and yet if it is your purpose then like me, you have missed what God has for you.  I have literally 'hit the wall' I cannot and will not live like this any more and praise God that no matter how hard I try He will not let me continue in this pattern of destructive behavior.  Oh, it doesn't look destructive on the outside, in fact I have been clearly told that others wish they had 'my life' and yet I am here to tell you that while I am indeed blessed and I have much to be thankful for, living a life that 'is always striving' and convinced that you are never good enough or that you need to meet a certain standard, or one in which you would never try to hold someone else to is exhausting and it does not work!

People, it is not wrong to take care of ourselves!!!  Why do we think that it is?  I am not referring to taking care of yourself to the point of misuse or neglect of others, but the Bible tells us 'to love others (our neighbors) as we would love ourselves' and that this is the second greatest commandment.  What is the first greatest commandment?  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind" Matthew 22:37.  Let's think about these for a minute...commandment - this is a requirement, not an option, right?  For me I have spent my life truly desiring to love the Lord, wholly and completely (now I haven't gotten it all right, obviously, but He has given me a heart to love Him since I was a teenager and He rescued me from my sin and fear of death.  I have also tried to love others as He would.  Have you ever heard the acronym for JOY?  J-esus, O-thers, Y-ourself?  Truly I have tried to live life in this manner, but do you see what is missing?  The loving myself!  Oh, I won't get into the depths of how far from loving myself I have lived.

Now before you make a judgment, there is no doubt I have loved myself in a physical manner, I mean I have rarely done without, I have had plenty to eat and been taken care of splendidly.  My issue is more hidden, more internal.  I have not loved who I am.  I have gone so far as to hate myself.  How,  you ask?  I believed the lies of the enemy and the lies of those he has used to trick me in my life, and not to mention my own thoughts and opinions.  I do not share this to make excuses, I share this because I believe there are many of us who live in this manner.  Thinking that to have 'boundaries' and say no, or not place ourselves in positions where we are uncomfortable simply because 'we think' that God may be disappointed with us, or that we 'can' serve so why don't I, and on and on.  I have depression, a real physical hormonal imbalance that causes some of my difficulties, but I also have a sin issue, one that say I know better than God and I will do things my own way - pride.  Oh, it is often very subtle and even easily rationalized, but it is so real, so valid.  Ignoring the depression or ignoring the pride, neither works.  I must face the facts that I have real physical limitations, but I do not get to enable myself to continue on in this manner.  I must seek God and take all the help that He has provided, both spiritually and physically, i.e. study His Word, meditate on it, pray and (for me) take medicine and seek the help from those who understand what my body, mind and emotions are going through regardless of whether anyone else understands or even accepts me or not.

My point in all this rambling?  I have spent years trying to love God completely, and love others as He commanded and yet I completely ignored (or excused) the part where He commanded 'as yourself.'  I have 'hit the wall' so to speak, exhausted beyond anything I could have even imagined, because I have tried to love Him and love others without accepting that I am to love myself, by convincing myself that to be 'honest' with myself and others about what I need and don't need means I am focusing on myself.  That just isn't true!  It is not selfish to love myself!  It is His command!  I now know that He will show me how!  I am a slow learner and at times He has to reveal things to me over and over again, and yet He does!  Praise His Holy Name!  I have a long way to go, but I am so thankful that He is clearly showing me what the 'root' is in all this 'travail.'  Not all of it has been my fault or even my choice; however I do have have a choice now, as He has opened my eyes and can chose to follow Him and obey.  I...so...chose!

Father God, I pray that You will make sense of what I am trying to convey here.  That I will not cause anyone to stumble, fall or make excuses for their actions and choices.  God, thank You for allowing me to 'hit the wall'.  I never thought I would say that, nor did I ever think I could do so so utterly and completely; however I have and while I am not glad I am thankful that You are revealing Yourself and You are at work.  Please God, transform me from the very root of my being.  May I be different.  May I stop making excuses.  May I stop settling for 'feeling better' and may I truly experience Your healing.  In Your way and in Your time.  Please God, help me to look to You and You alone.  Forgive me for looking to myself and my own understanding, for seeking others first rather than You and for rejecting those that You have placed in my path to help me because I thought I had to do it on my own.  Forgive me for loving myself in one sense so much that I refused to obey and for not loving myself so much that I couldn't see the truth of what You had for me.  May I walk in Your ways, Lord.  Thank You for never ever giving up on me, regardless of how many times I have given up on myself or pushed You away, You didn't and haven't left me.  You cannot and I am beyond grateful.  May I walk in this gratefulness and trust that there is a time for everything, even travail and know that You are at work and that You will have Your way.  May I walk in Your truth regardless of this 'emotional' journey that You have me on and not worry about what others think of me.  Give me eyes to see You, Jesus! and the strength to love You first and foremost and love myself in ways that I have never understood before so that I can love others and serve them for Your glory!