No more

Revelation 21:3-5
Look! God's dwelling is with men, and He will live with them.  They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.  
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  Death will exist no longer; grief, crying and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.
Then the One seated on the throne said, 'Look! I am making everything new.' Then He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'

I am in need of encouragement.  This life is hard.  People judge, they misuse you and misunderstand; however this life is what it is.  I am learning more and more, sometimes more slowly than I would like, that this life truly is about Jesus.  Sometimes I long for heaven.  To be in God's presence always. To know joy fully.  To worship without end.  I get so tired of this roller coaster of emotion called life.

Well, for that encouragement.  Look! Look!  Twice the word look is used in this passage, pay attention, take note, focus, be deliberate, concentrate.  God will dwell with us and live with us in heaven...wait because of Jesus, He lives with me today, right now!  Thank You, Holy Spirit for giving up heaven to live within me.  Not much of a trade for You, but how grateful I am to never be alone regardless how I feel.  His.  God Himself will be with us in heaven.  Mind boggling to imagine isn't it!  "For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face.  Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known" 1 Corinthians 13:12.

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate (reflect) the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit,                2 Corinthians 3:18.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come, 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Encouraged, yet?  I am.  How amazing He is!  His Word is Life.  His Word is Alive!  Sometimes we just need to look to heaven, to what is in store for us!  This brings joy, this brings peace...He does, through His Word.  Do you see it, I mean, did you really look with me?  He will wipe away every tear from (MY, YOUR) eyes!  I hate to cry, it doesn't feel good, it doesn't help, usually it only gives me a headache!  Think about this, NO MORE TEARS at all!  Death will not exist!  Exist!  What an awesome word in this context!  Exist - no longer!  Grief, crying, and pain will no longer exist!  SIGN ME UP!!!  Come quickly, Lord Jesus, come! (Revelation 22:20)

God is so good to us isn't He?  He promises to make all things new in heaven and yet He doesn't make us wait until then.  He says if we are in Christ, then we are new, now!  I am so thankful.  I don't know about you, but I know for me I need Him desperately.  His Word is trustworthy and true!!!  I am being transformed into His image, because He is at work.  There is hope in that for me.  He is in charge, not me.  Yes, this life hurts, people hurt us and sometimes we have to do things that others do not understand and their lack of understanding hurts as well.  Yet He understands!  He knows!  He is leading and directing.  I will hold on to Him!  Not to my feelings, not to the words of the accuser, not to the lack of understanding from those around me, but to Him!  May I hold on to Your truth, Lord,  and stay in Your peace.  

Oh, God, truly, I am thankful for Your Word! (Paraphrase of Psalm 139) Thank You, LORD that You have searched me and known me.  You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away.  You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, LORD.  You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me,   I thank You that I cannot escape from Your Spirit, from Your presence.  That You promise Your hand will lead me, Your right hand will hold on to me.  I can and will praise You because You created me and I am not hidden from You.  Thank You, God for being bigger than I can grasp, more than I can understand.  That my days do not catch you by surprise and that You have a plan, a good plan for me.  Help me to walk in Your ways, in Your plan and not get sidetracked by the opinions and thoughts of others, to trust that You are leading and that You will give me the strength to obey.  Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.  See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. 

Father God, thank You, thank You, thank You.  Here in Your Word, in Your truth is rest, is joy, is peace.  No where else.  Lord Jesus, may I live for You today, in the here and now.  Help me as I long for heaven, for completeness of Your presence, the opportunity to have joy at all times, to fully see You and worship You.  Have Your way in me.  Forgive me for so often getting my eyes off of You and placing them on myself, on my circumstances, on my feelings.  May I truly recognize that You understand me, You know me and You love me anyway.  Help me to trust You more, forgive me for the lack of trust I so often show by trying to figure things out or by trying to explain things that are unexplainable.  May I learn to really rest in the fact that You know all things.  Rest from this ridiculous need to figure out what to do or say and trust You to do as You say.  To lead me, to hold me with Your right hand.  To live with in me.  To know that You are at work, You are pleased with me, that it is okay to have peace when those around me think I should do something differently.  That I do not have to believe the lies of the accuser, the guilt that he tries to smother me with and the perceptions of others.  You are the only One that I need be concerned with.  Your opinion, Your direction, Your lead, have Your will and way in me.  Make me more like You.  

Philippians 2:1-4

Philippians 2:1-4
1)  Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion
2)  then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
3) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. 
4)  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Let's look at some words in this passage:  encouragement, united, comfort, love, sharing, tenderness, compassion, joy, one, humility.  Wow, those are some good words.  We all enjoy the relationships in our lives where these characteristics are present.  Are we ourselves being this kind of person in the lives of those around us?

As we all gather together with family and friends on this day to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, often there is unrest, conflict, sadness, anger, stress, etc. Are we a part of bringing the negative to our environments or are we willing to be 'united with Christ' and therefore be able to bring encouragement, comfort, love, joy, etc.  It's tough, I mean we all see things a little bit differently don't we?  We all have our opinions and our ways of doing things.  But really what is more important getting our way or being a blessing to others?  It all comes down to our choice.

Will I chose to have to have my own way, to look out for my own interests or will I chose to be a comfort to those around me, an encouragement?  So it is easy to write what to do, but how do we really do it?

Well the Word says that I must allow myself to be united with Christ, to allow Him to bring me comfort so that I can in turn be a comfort to those around me.  There is so much more to life than stuff!  Stuff does bring ease and comfort, no doubt, but having a good relationship with the Lord and to be able to love those around you in His strength; that brings real joy, real comfort.

What is joy?  A source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; someone greatly valued or appreciated.  You know, we all love to be appreciated and delighted in; however often our days are filled with criticism and pain.   Do you realize that regardless what the people in your world say or do that you have a Heavenly Father who 'rejoices over you with gladness.  He will bring you quietness with His love.  He will delight in you with shouts of joy.  Zephaniah 3:17

That is something to give thanks for don't you think?  Think this all the way through with me.  If God rejoices over me with gladness, if He promises to quiet or calm me with His love and even goes so far as to delight in me with shouts of joy shouldn't I make that kind of effort to treat the people in my life with this same love, to endeavor to be like Christ?  How?  Well, we must begin with making sure that we are in right relationship with Christ.  Do I have any sin in my life that I need to confess to Him?  Is there any anger or bitterness that I am holding onto?  This essentially ends up hurting me more than the person with which I am struggling.  I can ask God for the strength to be kind, to be thankful, to be loving.  He will give me strength if I am truly willing to allow Him to work in and through me.  (Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.)

Do I want joy?  Do I want to express joy to others?  I definitely want others to express joy to me, to show me comfort, to encourage me.  I'm thinking it will be easier for them to show me this type response if I make it my goal to be humble, to value others above myself.  It's hard.  In my own nature I want my way, I think of myself first and yet when I do this I do not have joy, not really.  So I guess what I am getting at today on this day where it is sometimes hard to be thankful, just because we are supposed to be, when we find ourselves around people that maybe we don't get along with all that well is that we have the choice to draw strength from the Lord.  To recognize that He is joy.  He is hope.  He wants to provide for us, comfort us, rejoice over us.  Our choice.

I pray, Father, that as the God of all hope, You will fill us with all joy and peace in believing, so that we may overflow with hope by the power of Your Holy Spirit  (Romans 5:13) to all those we come in contact with today.  May we choose to take our eyes off our own wants, desires and opinions and be willing to express Your love to those we come in contact with.  Help us God, to be thankful.  You have blessed us with so much.  May we realize that life isn't about the things we own, hope to own or just stuff in general but about You and the people that You have put in our lives.  Begin with me, Lord.  I need You to enable me to be compassionate, encouraging, loving, to help me to value those around me that I tend to take for granted.  Please God reveal Yourself in our midst today.  Help us to be like-minded in showing Your love and Your compassion, regardless of how we may feel.  

Galatians 5:22-25

Drama, trauma, fear, anxiety, conflict, relationship, difficulty, stress, reality.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith, self-control.

Not much of a choice when it is written in front of me.  I mean I would be foolish to chose the first grouping of words over the second; however that is often just what I do.  I have said this over and over and since really I am writing to myself and you have chosen to be a part of this journey with me I need to hear it again.  I need to see it again.

The key is the working of the Holy Spirit and that it is His fruit in me.

Galatians 5:22-25.
22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith,
23) gentleness, self-control.  Against such things there is no law. 
24) Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  
25) If we life by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. 

Let me just say that the enemy is working overtime!  I am sure you know exactly what I mean.  He is not in charge though!  God is.

I want to be thankful.  I want to walk by the Spirit.

Father God, thank You that Your Holy Spirit is willing and able to live inside of me and work through me.  May I chose Your ways.  God, my flesh is rising up this morning, I want to be angry.  I want to allow its passions and desires to be in charge.  Change my want to.  I surrender this battle to You.  I ask for Your strength to exhibit the fruit of Your Spirit rather than the lusts of my flesh.  You know the circumstances, You know the issues.  You are aware of how they continually bombard me.  I need Your strength, Jesus.  I need Your help.  I need You to give me the desire to follow Your lead and not my own.  It hurts, You know that better than anyone.  Please give me wisdom to do what You say; to obey.  Your Word says there is no law against love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self-control.  What does that mean?  I am thinking You mean that I can always chose to respond in these ways with the strength of Your Spirit.  So hard.  This 'crucifying' of the flesh hurts and yet it will hurt me less than disobeying You.  Thank You that I belong to You, Jesus!  Thank You for never giving up on me, though I certainly don't understand it I am grateful.  Thank You for Your amazing grace.  Your plans and purposes.  Your forgiveness, Your love.  Thank You that You are the Great I AM!  I need You more than ever before.  Please be my all in all.  Your will God, not mine.  

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

I THESSALONIANS 5:16-19

16) Rejoice always!
17) Pray constantly.
18) Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 
19) Don't stifle the Spirit. 

Do you see the steps?  I love it when Scripture does this.  Everything needs to begin with rejoicing (to have joy in).  How can I rejoice always...by praying constantly...giving thanks in everything.

Some synonyms for rejoice are:  be glad, be overjoyed, celebrate, delight, enjoy, glory, triumph, revel.  I like the definition to have joy in.  How?  In looking at various commentaries and a sermon by C. H. Spurgeon, I will try to explain what I read and what I think.  

We can rejoice always when we have joy in Jesus.  When our focus is on Him.  This leads us to praying constantly which in turn feeds our ability to rejoice or have joy.  It was stated that our voice, our posture and our place for prayer doesn't matter.  We must realize that at all times we are able to pray.  God doesn't change.  He doesn't hide.  Because of Jesus we are able to talk with God anywhere and at all times...remember He tore the temple veil in to from the top to the bottom!  No longer must we go to priest or go to the tabernacle to pray.  We can go through Him.  He became our High Priest and made it possible for us to go into the presence of God because of His sacrifice, His blood!  Anywhere and at anytime!  Amazing!  Yet I take the ability to pray so for granted most all of the time.  

These verses are a practical way to live this life as a Christ follower.  These are actions I can take.  I can have joy in Jesus, when I look at who He is and what He has done and what He is doing.  When I go to His Word.

You say, pray constantly?  That isn't practical.  How can I possibly do that?  Well, it is an attitude of the heart, a choice in the mind to look to Him wherever we are and whatever we are doing.  By getting in to the habit of thanking Him for everything we are more and more aware of Him.  This is God's will for us remember?  To give thanks in everything in Christ Jesus.  He is the critical part.  Because of Him we can give thanks.  I have so much to learn in this area.  I would much rather change my circumstances or gripe than be thankful truth be told.  However, if I want to experience joy I must be willing to have a thankful heart and practice thanksgiving.

I don't usually go on to verse 19 but it says do not stifle (quench) the Spirit.  What?  Apparently we can.  How?  By being ungrateful, by not rejoicing and not praying.  Pretty heavy stuff.   We have so many opportunities in a day's time to be in God's presence, to recognize Him in our midst.  We must choose to get into the habit of rejoicing, praying and thanking.  What is the difference between rejoicing and thanking?  Well, from what I can see rejoicing is an inward expression of joy, a feeling whereas to go all the way to thanking means to then express appreciation, gratitude or appreciation, outwardly.  A synonym for thanks is praise.

So if we do not want to stifle or quench the Holy Spirit's work in us we must give thanks in everything because that is God's will for us.  This in turn allows us to pray without ceasing and rejoice always.  Then start again...it cycles!  Rejoice, pray, give thanks and we will allow the Spirit to work freely in and through us.  He then causes us to rejoice, to pray, to give thanks...

So I worked on this post yesterday as I knew my morning would be busy and as you can probably guess I am struggling with being thankful today!  Oh, I am thankful enough for the things that come easy to me, but I sure am struggling with that always, everything and constantly!  Shocking, I know. Time for my 'money to be where my mouth is,' huh???

I am just going to get with on it rather than talk anymore about it...

Father God, I thank You that You are my Father.  I thank You that each and every moment of my life I am Yours.  I am so grateful to You and for You.  Thank You that You gave me this new day, I am struggling to be thankful for the mornings that always come :-) but I am going to give it a try!  Thank You for the morning.  Help me to see the new opportunities in it.  I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep in, I just don't like to get out of it!!!  I see that I have a lot of choices to make regarding thankfulness.  Thank You for opening my eyes.  Ok, here goes.  I am thankful for the opportunity to get up early, fix breakfast and lunches for my girls before they go to school.  I know that I will only get to do that for a little bit longer and I need to recognize the blessing in that.  Thank You for the season of getting to sit on my couch and get into Your Word and share it with others.  Thank You for the change that You are working in me.  Thank You for the hard things too, You know the struggles, the issues of today that I must still address.  I thank You that I do not have to handle any of it alone.  Thank You for the gift You have given me in Mark.  Thank You for his love, godly character, his hard work and wisdom in providing for us, for the great husband and dad that he is.  Thank You for drawing us closer and helping us grow in You and in placing each other first, after You.  Thank You for the opportunity to be parents to such wonderful kids, a son and two daughters.  May I be able to convey the love I have for them in ways that they can receive it.  May I find ways to show them and Mark how much I appreciate them.  Thank You for words.  For Your Word.  Thank You for Jesus! and for Your Holy Spirit!  Thank You for the medicine that You have provided for me and the two doctors that really care and understand as well as love You.  Thank You for this voice and chance to blog.  Thank You for friendship.  Truly.  What a gift.  Thank You for the laundry, dishes, meals to cook, vacuuming, etc...as for me that means family to care for and share with.  I need a little help really meaning that one, Lord.  I'm not so great a cleaning, I'd rather share words and time with others!  Thank You for indoor plumbing and a hot shower.  Heat and plenty of blankets.  I am really thankful for the fact that all my words don't get on Your nerves and that You are always ready, willing and able to communicate with me.  Thank You that You never tire of me and You never turn Your back.  Thank You, God, for my little dog, Snickers, the companionship and comfort that he gives.  Thank You for this nervous feeling in my stomach that tells me to follow through and obey what You have told me to do today.  Thank You for the ability to read and the love I have for it.  For the ability to be friendly and smile at someone today.  For crocheting.  Thank You for allowing me to be used by You.  Forgive me for struggling so with praying and thanking You.  Help me to grow in gratitude and look to You moment by moment.  Help me to take my eyes off 'the things' because that is not where my thankfulness lies, it is on You and with You.  

Thankful?

Word Study on thanks.
Thanks - yadah (Hebrew- verb) to give thanks, praise, confess. (Interesting?) Translated in KJV - praise (53x), give thanks (32x), confess (16x), thank (5x), make confession (2x), thanksgiving (2x), thankful (1x) - the reference stated 'since thanksgiving and praise naturally follow the acknowledgment or confession of benefits received.'

Does confession make me more thankful?  There are different kinds of confession aren't there?  Confession though takes acknowledgement.  What am I willing to acknowledge?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 Chronicles 16:34  "Give thanks to the LORD for He is good; His faithful love endures forever."
(This passage in Chronicles 16:8-22 is Psalm 105:1-15)
The rest of this chapter is portions of other Psalms - so cool!

Psalm 100:4  "Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him    
and praise His name. 

Psalm 136:1  "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good.  His love is eternal."

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Here's the thing.  I am not very traditional.  I do not enjoy things that most people enjoy.  I know I am different, but I am finding out that that is okay because I am the Lord's, He made me and He loves me.  I don't like social gatherings very much...like weddings, showers, parties.  I don't like holidays either.  I do not enjoy the hoopla that is a holiday...the expected responses, the expected things.  I know, I know.  I have always walked to a little different beat.  I do not like doing something because someone else does it or thinks I should.  Whoa, rebellious, huh?! Where am I going with this?  I don't know - LOL!  Just that I was thinking about the thanksgiving holiday and wondering if I am really thankful.  I mean really?

My pastor asked a question or made a statement yesterday that set me to thinking.  Something to the effect of, do you see yourself as thankful?  Is that how others see you?  Your spouse?  Your kids?  Your friends?  The person at the grocery? Then I began to wonder if being thankful is something I am on a daily basis or do I fall it to the category of 'straightening up' so to speak during the holidays? Am I only thankful when things around me are going right, or I am getting my way?  What causes me to be thankful?

I know I am goofy as well as random, (I figure it is my blog though so it's okay;) but I am loving that word, SELAH from the Psalms which may mean THINK ABOUT IT, PAUSE, STOP AND LISTEN - it isn't clear the exact translation.  I want to stop and think about the word thanks.  There are a bunch of Scriptures to choose from, I chose those above because they were in the concordance of my Holman Christian Standard Bible and it seemed manageable.  My mind is running in many directions as it often does but I am having such fun; just be glad I am not writing down all I am thinking!

The thought that confession makes me more thankful is something I have been pondering for a bit as I sit here. When I confess my sin, my failings, my needs and I see God's provision of love, mercy, grace, forgiveness my heart of thankfulness definitely grows.   When I begin the process of looking at God at His attributes, His character and praising Him my thankfulness grows.   I begin to recognize how big He is and how small I am.

So I guess that is the key then and just like everything else it seems to comes back to this one thing...Where is my focus?  Is it on Christ?  Even in the midst of the dailyness of life?  Is it on my circumstances?  Is it on how I feel?  Am I willing to confess and acknowledge my need of Him?  His greatness?  His provision?  His....  Him?!

Tomorrow I think I will look at 1 Thessalonians 5:16-23, but really quick verse 18 says, "Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  Do you see that?  It is God's will for me to give thanks in everything.  God's will!  We are always wanting to know what God's will is?  Well here is a great starting point!  Practice being thankful - all the time, not just when we feel like it.

Whoa, that's hard though, isn't it?  I think we will get better at it if we practice.  Just like deliberately setting our mind on Christ, focusing on Him.  What better way to get our focus where it needs to be than to look to Him with thankfulness.  We really have much to be grateful for don't we?  I think so often though, we want to turn it to physical things.  Yes, we need to be thankful for what God has given us, but stuff really amounts to nothing.  A tornado or fire happens and we lose everything and yet what are we most grateful for when it comes down to it?  Jesus, Life, Love, People, Relationships.
The enemy is really good at distracting and deceiving us into complaining and looking at our circumstances at our stuff or lack of.  We must resist him.  We must resist our flesh and set about giving thanks.  Change our focus.

I usually think of myself as being pretty thankful, but in doing a serious heart check I have realized that my thankfulness is so often conditional and I find that I am not presenting a thankful heart and attitude as much as I would like to think.  In fact I am more often wanting my way than the Lord's and griping about it when I don't get it.  For sure inside, if not outwardly.  

Father God, I do ask You to forgive me for wearing a mask of thankfulness.  One that says I am thankful but often it isn't true down in the depths of me.  You have given me a gift in encouraging others but am I really grateful for them?  Or have I just gotten good as saying words?  Please God help me to practice having a thankful spirit.  I thank You for the truth of Your Word and how in and through it comes life and the freedom from living a lie.   That You, Jesus, are the very Word of Life.  I want life.  I want freedom.  I have been overwhelmed this morning looking at all of the passages in Your Word on being thankful.  You really want us to get this, huh?  Help me to get it.  In Your strength.  I do chose right now to give thanks to You.  You are good! Your faithful love endures forever!  You say we can enter into Your presence with thanksgiving, with praise.  I want to be in Your presence.  You are always here with me but often I ignore You.  I would rather do my own thing.  Please God change me, help me to be in tune with You more than I am not.  You are good and Your love is eternal.  

I want to make a list of verses where the words thanks, thankful, thanksgiving are found for a starting point in helping me GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD...

1 Chr. 16:34 - He is good and His faithful love endures forever 
           16:35 - Your Name is holy 
Psalm 7:17 - He is righteous
           9:1 - of all Your wonderful deeds
           116:17 - offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving & will worship the LORD
           118:21 - for You answered me; You have become my salvation
           119:62 - for Your righteous laws (Your Word)
           136:3 - Lord of lords
           136:26 - the God of heaven
Jer. 33:11 -  to the LORD Almighty, for the LORD is good; His love endures forever
Rom. 6:17 - you used to be a slave to sin
I Cor. 15:57 - He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ
2 Cor. 9:15 - for His indescribable gift
Col. 1:12 - qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light
        3:15 - let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...be thankful
        4:2 - Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful
1 Thess. 5:18 - for it is God's will
Heb. 12:28 - since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken...be thankful and worship God
         with reverence and awe
Rev. 11:17 - Lord God Almighty, the One who is and who was 

"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!" in the NIV occurs 15 times almost word for word.  Other translations use different adjectives describing His love - like faithful instead of steadfast or the word love is translated mercy (KJV); lovingkindness is everlasting (NASB)  (1 Chr. 16:34, 16:41, 2 Chr. 7:3, 7:6, 20:21; Ezr. 3:11,  Ps. 106:1, 107:1, 118:1, 118:29, 136:1. 136:2, 136:3, 136:26, Jer. 33:11)

I know I got really carried away, but do you think because He repeated this so often that it means it's important???  That our lives could change if we recognize His goodness, if we truly know it and that His love never ever ends!!!  What peace!  What joy!  What thankfulness!

Perhaps spending time each day acknowledging that He is good and that His faithful, steadfast love (mercy) endures forever will help us with having a heart/an attitude of thanksgiving?  I'm going to give it a try.  Join me?

Lastly, did you know that Romans 1:20-21 says "From the creation of the world His invisible attributes, that is, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what He has made.  As a result, people are without excuse.  For though they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God or show gratitude.  Instead, their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened."  Whoa!  I didn't realize the significance God places on having a thankful heart.  God reveals Himself clearly and He expects to be worshipped, glorified, thanked! If not our thinking becomes nonsense and beyond that our senseless minds then become darkened!  I have experienced a darkened mind, due to depression (the lack of hormone causing some of it when it became extreme),  but also my decision to focus on the negative in my life.  If you are struggling with depression...go to the Lord in thanksgiving!  Look to Him!  If your depression is clinical as mine is, go to the doctor, go to the counselor, whatever.  God has provided medicine and doctors to help us and then we must still choose to be thankful!  He will bring LIGHT to your mind!  He has mine!  I am not special I have just determined to submit to the Lord and His lead!  I mean really submit, like obey, not just lip service.  He is changing me! You can too!  Whatever your issue!  He is bigger!  He will help!  You must choose to allow Him to!

If we want to have a thankful heart we must look to Him.  Look at Who He is!  Worship Him!  He alone is worthy of our worship and praise!  Then our thankfulness will grow!  What better way to use our time than learning to focus on Him and be thankful!  Test it out with me!  I would venture to say that our joy will increase and that we will be much more pleasant to be around if we do.  Let me know how it goes!

Oh, God, truly I am so grateful that You have brought Light to my mind!  That You are allowing me to be hungry for You and Your Word.  I know this is You and not me!  I am so thankful that Your love endures forever, that it is steadfast and faithful.  I am not, therefore I need You to be.  Thank You for Your promises, may we allow Your Word to become life to us (Deut. 8:3 & Matt. 4:4). 

Trust to rest

REST
Restore, redeem, renew, rescue, reserve, retain, reside
Encourage, embrace, enjoy, enter, entrust, equip, establish
Strength, salvation, sacrifice, share, sense, stillness, serve
Trust, truth, teach, testify, time, transform

TRUST
Total, time, thankful, thirsty, trial, today
Recommit, reassure, reach, reveal, repent, release, receive
Understanding, unquenchable, unsearchable
Safe, secure, still, saved, sealed, sanctified
Total, temple, take, touch, triumph, transform

So I like words.  Seems like I am kind of playing around with them today.  I am tired.  You know, inside, deep inside.  I do not get the concept of rest very well.  I am agonizing, trying, and then trying not to try!  Does this make any sense to anyone but me???  I realize I overthink things, but how do you stop when this is how you are wired.  I am not so deep, just so stuck.

God in His graciousness is giving me the opportunity and privilege to 'flesh' this issue among others out in front of you.  Why?  I'm not sure, I mean I feel pretty vulnerable and yet I am having a blast most of the time.  Weird, huh?  A blast sharing my heart, having a voice, not necessarily a blast being so 'out there' so to speak.  The enemy is fighting this enjoyment, raising guilt, reminding me that I am nothing special and why do I think I should share and be heard.  I am no different than anyone else and let's not forget that apparently I am more 'broken' than most, certainly more open about it so what gives me the right to share my journey?  God has given me the opportunity, therefore I share.

I certainly do not want to present myself as someone who has this deep walk with God, who has it together, obviously not, I mean just read past blogs or keep reading.  One thing I do know is that God is showing me His ways.  He is changing me.  It is a journey toward intimacy with Him.  He is all that matters.  When I surrender and seek Him, He reveals Himself.  I can follow Him and learn to rest.  Man, it's hard!  I get in my own way more often than not!  I do not want to become prideful in my enthusiasm for sharing.  I want to point to Him!  I am realizing more and more that I am nothing without Christ!  And yet, I am beyond valuable to Him.  His princess, His treasure.  I have never seen myself as a princess, not really.  I mean but look I am a daughter of the KING OF KINGS!  That means princess!!! Wow!  It is because of Him that I have value, that I have worth.  I can either learn to rest in Him and trust Him more fully each day or I can continue in exhaustion and turmoil.   It seems like every time I find rest and peace in Him I turn around, someone says or does something, or I do myself and then I am in turmoil all over again.  I figure the more I practice His rest and deliberately choosing to trust Him, the better I am going to get at experiencing His rest and peace.

When I think of rest, of what I think God is showing me, I get to the word TRUST.  I struggle a great deal with trust.  I tend to try to take care of myself.  I tend to not believe what people say to me.  I often think they are patronizing me or that they wish I would just get it said and move on.  I want to learn to believe and trust, to take people at their word. To stop overthinking and analyzing, questioning, worrying but rest.  However,  I think that in order to find rest, I must learn to trust God first.  Lose my concern over what others think and look to Him.  Thus the Journey His Way.

I know I am intense, I know I am too serious, I know I can be too detailed.  I know.  I get on my own nerves, believe me.  What I am learning though, is that God doesn't get tired of me.  He likes me.  He created me and finally I am to the place that I want to be the 'Tammy' He created me to be instead of trying to fit a mold or even what I think people expect of me.  Perhaps I am behind and most of you did this when you were young, but I find that I have lost sight of who God made me to be for trying so hard to be what I thought I needed to be.  Trying so hard to please Him, when all my 'righteous acts are as filthy rags' (Isaiah 64:6)  I mean, I know Romans 3:10 says 'There is no one righteous, not even one.'  Still yet, I have fallen into the trap of trying to do more, be more etc... Perfectionist for sure.  I didn't expect it from you, but I certainly have from me!  I would not have stated it so boldly but it is how I have lived within myself.  Always striving to please, to be perfect, knowing full well that Jesus is the only one who is perfect and yet still expecting more of myself than I could give.  This is why I am bone weary.

I have had an ideal of what I thought a 'godly wife', a 'godly mom', wait a 'godly homeschool mom', a 'godly staff wife' a 'godly daughter', a 'godly daughter-in-law', a 'godly friend' and on and on and on should be.  I have read a ton of books, listened to tons of sermons, done this, that and the other thing convinced that I had to somehow measure up.  Foolishness.  Ridiculous.  But true nonetheless.  I have worn myself down to a frazzle internally trying to be all that I thought was necessary.  Necessary to please God, to please others, to please myself.  When I type it is obvious, but living it hasn't been so obvious.  It hasn't worked!  It doesn't work!  Get out of the trap!

God in His infinite patience, mercy and grace is getting my attention.  I want to shout it from the mountain tops!!!  Don't fall for it!  Don't believe the lies!  The opinions of others and the things of this world are not what is important.  He is!  His opinion.  His Word.  Him!  I have wasted so much time and energy trying to do, do and do some more.  When He wants me to learn to be.  I guess it hasn't been so much wasted as it has been part of the journey, but I do not want to keep living the same way.  Falling into the same patterns and habits.  I want Him to transform me, I cannot change myself!  Believe me I have tried.  The fact is I don't need to change so much as be willing for Him to do what He wants.  He made me.  He loves me.  He is at work.  I want to be moldable, pliable so that He, as the Potter, can form me into what He wants.  He has a plan.  He is trustworthy.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make Your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6.  

Father God, I pray You would take all of this rambling, this processing, this lack of knowing what to do or how to stop trying to do and teach me to be.  To learn to live in the moment with You.  I know that I know that You are trustworthy, You have shown me over and over again.  Thank You!  I cannot begin to say how grateful I am that You don't tire of me, that You don't turn Your back on me or wish I would just move on.  You love me.  I do not have to figure this out, so much as my mind tells me that I need to.  Help me to take my thoughts captive, to allow You to renew my mind and set my mind on things above.   

Proverbs 3:1 tells me to not forget Your teaching but to keep Your commands in my heart.  
Verse 7 tells me to not be wise in my own eyes but to fear You. 
Verse 8 says that this will bring health to my body and nourishment to my bones.  

I want to be healthy God, I want to be strong in You.  Forgive me for being so concerned with what others think and placing such importance on my own opinions.  For worrying that I will annoy people and that I should just be quiet.  You have given me this voice and it is for You that I write.  It is for Your glory, Your work in me.  Prayerfully, You will use it to encourage someone else that they will realize they are not alone in this journey and that You truly do love them.  You want to meet with them and guide them.  You do!  I know it!  Forgive me for spending so much time wondering if I am doing enough, or should I be doing more, on and on, instead of seeking You and then following Your lead.  Lord, help me to grow in my trust of You and learn to rest in You as well and not to worry about what that looks like to myself or to others.  To stop trying so hard to be pleasing and just learn to be.  May I be still on the inside and enjoy this journey You have me on.  I need You.  Keep my attention and when I get distracted help me to focus on You once again.  

God's Presence = REST

Exodus 33:14  The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

My Presence - paniym - face, presence, person.  In front of, before, to the front of, in the presence of, in the face of.
rest - (Hebrew) nuwach  - to rest, settle down, and remain, to repose, have rest, be quiet.  To cause to rest, give rest to, make quiet.

Matthew 28:20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. 

with - meta - with, after, behind
always - hemera - used of time in general, i.e. the days of his life
rest - (Greek) - anaapauo - to cause or permit one to cease from any movement or labour in order to recover and collect his strength; to give rest, refresh, to give one's self rest, take rest, to keep quiet, or calm and patient expectation.

Matthew 11:28  Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am attempting to do some word studies and some cross references, really I am not very good at it, note the word attempting. ;-)  Also, I like to give disclaimers to those of you kind enough to take this journey with me just to kind of prepare you for my randomness...

The Lord in His great faithfulness, mercy, grace and love continues to remind me that He is attempting to give me rest.  He really wants me to learn to rest, period.  Inside, outside, all sides!  I realized at some point yesterday after some godly counsel that I am fighting God still.  I am constantly trying to figure out the next thing, how to move forward, how to grow, what to do, when to do it or I try to beat myself up because of the things I think I should have done, or should be doing.  NO WONDER I AM SO WEARY!!!  Do you know what I mean?  To be so tired that You have nothing left?  Or so you think, but somehow you still manage to fight!  It was pointed out to me that there are seasons to everything...especially in our lives.  I mean I knew this right?  At least with watching my kids grow up, but why do I not think about applying this to myself???

Now God is attempting to give me rest and I keep throwing it back in His face.  I need to stop.  I need and want to be thankful for this season.  To realize I do not need to try to rush through it and figure it out but take it as the gift it is.  Occasionally I grasp it but I am so far from truly getting it.  I so want to learn what He has for me.  Even the word 'attempting' keeps coming out.  God promises to give me rest if I come to Him, He isn't the one who is attempting, that is me!  I keep trying and in doing so I am getting in the way of what He wants for me!

Oh, to stop attempting, to learn, truly learn to be.  Father forgive me!  May I learn what You have for me and just rest.  To stop trying to battle it out and figure it out, but to rest in Your Presence.  I am sorry that I keep throwing Your Precious Gift back into Your face.  You are providing all I need!  You are presenting me with hope, healing, restoration, etc...by Your very Presence with me and yet I want more???  Ridiculous!  There isn't more!  You are ALL in ALL!  May I truly be satisfied with You and 'stop fighting, cease striving and be still!'  To rest.

Thank You, God, for insisting on giving me what is best for me.  For not allowing me to continue down the road of despair and hopelessness sitting in my hurts and overwhelmed by the things of this world.  Thank You that like the Israelites, You promise me that Your Presence will go with me and You will give me rest.  That I can come to You and thereby have rest.  I do not have to earn it, I do not have to work, I must come.  And You in Your amazingness provide even the ability to come!  This life is not about me, though I continually forget that.  It is about You!  Your Presence.

Thank You for Your Word!  Your promises... 
Isaiah 30:15 "For the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said:  'You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength with lie in quiet confidence.'  (Make me willing, Lord, to continually return and receive Your rest...show me how contrary to what this world teaches, that my strength will lie in placing my confidence in You, in waiting quietly.)

Isaiah 30:18 "Therefore the LORD is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a just God.  Happy are all who wait patiently for Him."

Isaiah 30:21 "Whenever you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: 'This is the way.  Walk in it.'"

Father God, thank You for the hope You provide, the rest.  Your strength, deliverance, confidence, compassion, Your justice.

Is anybody getting excited besides me???  Do you see it???  The Lord GOD has said!!! He said it!  I believe Him!  He is trustworthy!!! I can live in the reality of His promises!!!  I will be delivered by returning and resting IN HIM!!!  I can have strength and quiet confidence - IN HIM!!!  It is all a matter of my view point!  Am I willing to look to Him?  To return to Him over and over again? Often in my stubborn, rebellious, sinfulness I tend to turn to my own thoughts, opinions, wants etc... But is that where I want to be???   CAN I SHOUT HERE???  NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  I am sick and tired of sitting in the same old state...fighting fear and anxiety, busyness and myself!!!  I will chose to return to the Lord.  To look to Him!

Do you see the rest of it???  THE LORD IS WAITING TO SHOW YOU MERCY!!!  Me and you!  I want it don't you?  HE IS RISING UP TO SHOW YOU COMPASSION!!!  Me and you!  Oh, we don't deserve it, we can't earn it but we can REST IN IT!  REST IN HIM!  TRUST IN HIM!!!!

I get to wait for Him!  Where did we get this idea that to wait, to be patient is a bad word???  Oh, I know it usually means a challenge but would we rather be challenged with God or take off in our own strength and fall?  Do we realize to wait means to rest???  I can chose to rest!  No one can make that choice for me!  I must choose to rest, chose to wait!  Do I trust Him to do what He says???  I so want to!  Lord increase my trust, strengthen my faith in You! Help me take my eyes off myself and put them on You, period, no excuses!  He promises that wherever I walk, whether to the right or to the left, He is there.  He will enable me to have ears that hear and recognize His voice and then I will know when to walk and where!

Until then...REST!  WAIT!  CONFIDENTLY SEEK HIM!

What? Actually enjoy the fact that He is in control and I get to rest!  I mean, He has always been and will always be in control...why not stop 'spinning my wheels' or wearing myself out and let Him do the work!!!  Seems like an obvious choice, but oh so often we just simply miss it or refuse to see it!

Father God, thank You, thank You, thank You for meeting each of us where we are!  Help me/us to stop spending so much time wondering why someone else does what they do or why things are happening the way they are and focus.  Focus on You.  To wait, to rest, to quietly, confidently watch for You to work!  You will, You are, You promise!  You alone are trustworthy!  I certainly am not, my moods, my emotions can rise and fall with the wind or one thought, but YOU!  You are steadfast, immovable!  You, God, are mighty to save.  You are my Provider, my Sustainer, my Redeemer, my ALL IN ALL!  Thank You that my need for rest, though it may look different from the next person is not wrong, it is right!!!  Thank You for promising that Your Presence is with me.  You left Your Holy Spirit to live in me!  Please reveal Yourself in my moment by moment.  Forgive me for quenching and grieving Your Spirit.  For deliberately choosing my own way.  Thank You for once again revealing Yourself, for allowing me to see You!  That You made me this way, to process over and over again, to enable me to bring You my burdens and receive Your rest!  Your peace that passes understanding!  I am thankful!  I choose You!  Thank You for choosing me!!!  As I get up from this place may I be able to walk in Your Spirit and not fulfill the lusts of my flesh!  May I see You clearly.  May I listen and obey.  May I rest in YOU!  

Complete randomness

Today is a day for random thoughts...

I am sure if you have read any of my stuff you are noticing a pattern.  With words like rest, be still, sadness, hurt, peace, joy, pain, burdens, process, journey, choose, weary, life and on and on.

Something that dawned on me today is that I need to be thankful to the Lord for His attempts to give me rest.  Instead of fighting this season, instead of allowing the guilt, the wonderings, the should(s), the what ifs take hold of me.  I have a terribly bad habit of second guessing my every move and every thought.  This is an exhausting process, one that the Lord is trying to set me free from at least a little at a time.  However I tend to fight Him.

So the word season.  You know as well as I do that seasons change, both in weather and in life.  God has called me to a season of rest, of release and boy is that hard for me.  Why?  I mean, it seems so foolish when I write it down, but that fact is that I tend to fight, to strive even when He, My Father in Heaven, has told me to rest.  That what I need may not be what someone else needs, but that is okay because He loves me just the same.

In the car today, God met me there.  I mean He is always with us I know, but He revealed Himself.  He is so good, isn't He!  I so didn't deserve to hear from Him, I was pouting.  I was sitting in self-imposed guilt.  Fear and hurt were consuming me rather than Him.  I mean I told Him about it, but I refused to really TELL HIM about it, instead I was choosing to run, choosing to agonize rather than release.  And still yet He made me aware of Him.  Now I am nothing special, but He sure is!  I am so thankful to be His.  Anyway, two different songs came on from my iPod.  Songs by the group
33 Miles called, "Calling My Name," and "Arms That Hold The Universe."  I just want to give you a part of the lyrics from the second song:

'The God of strength will never let you go
He will overcome I know

Chorus
And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It's gonna be alright

And the voice that calmed the raging seas
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go

So I am holding back here so as not to overwhelm anyone :-) but I had a jam session with the Lord, the opportunity to worship Him and He began the process of getting my eyes off myself.  I have inferred that I am a slow learner, well it's true, but He doesn't mind taking me through the process again and again.  Remember He doesn't get tired.  He doesn't feel like quitting.  He doesn't worry what others are thinking.  His emotions do not control Him.  Praise God, He is in control and not me! I do not need to fret and worry, though it does happen and He so graciously works me/walks me through it and if I am willing out of it.  Took Him longer today, unfortunately.  I had more trouble letting go.  But praise God He did get me out, today I am determined to stay out whereas yesterday I fell right back into to the worry and the unrest.  :-(  So frustrating!!!

I am so struggling with the principle of rest.  I am not good at it!  And yet God is so gracious to continue to try to teach me.  Be still, stop fighting, cease striving (Psalm 46:10).  So easy to write, but so hard to live.  I do not live in the moment very well.  Do you?  I was reminded today that this moment is what I am given and it is a gift.  God is giving me the opportunity to be in a season of rest and I am not being very grateful.  Forgive me, Lord.  I do want to rest, truly I want to learn.  Thank You for giving me opportunity after opportunity.  Forgive me for being discontent and for trying to force things that aren't of You.  For focusing once again on myself and my feelings.  Thank You for using music to get my attention.  For reminding me of the truth of Your Word.

I also got the spur of the moment opportunity to have lunch with my son and go to the bookstore.  This made my day so special.  God is stretching me.  Unfortunately I am very often inhibited and unwilling to do things on my own or at my own choosing.  Home is safe.  Making the effort to do something else is often hard for me.  Today, we went to a place for lunch that, no kidding, I have thought about trying for at least 10 years!!!  Yes, you read it correctly, ridiculous, huh?  If it weren't for my husband I would probably be a hermit, no kidding.

As I have gotten older I find that I have gotten more inhibited rather than less.  Why and why does it matter?  Because I have taken more responsibility on my shoulders, as if I am in control of anything anyway!  With being a wife, a mom, homeschooling, being a 'staff wife', a daughter, a friend, not too mention issues that crop up.  I had lost myself in my roles and in trying so hard to be what I called 'godly' I wore myself out and basically have been fighting legalism for years. Sometimes I have been aware and other times I just couldn't see it.  God is introducing me consistently to His grace.  I mean, I would be happy for you to have grace or experience grace, but I was convinced that God really didn't mean me.  I mean I know better, I should chose to do the right thing, etc... Lies.  Calculated, misleading and devastating.  Lies!

I recently read the book by Bob George called, "Classic Christianity."  This is an excellent read!  I actually got my own copy today at the book store!!!!!!  

One of the thoughts I recall from the book, I think, is that once we are 'saved' and become 'Christ-followers,' because we have recognized our sinfulness, our need of a Savior in Jesus, then we often fall into the trap of works.  We think we have to do more, be more, etc...  I did.  I still often do.  The church is often a place where we burn out because we think we have to work, work, work.  Yes, we want to serve once we are saved, but we do not need serve to be more saved...more spiritual...more loved by God.  This often causes a spiritually deadly game of comparison or of trying to meet others expectations, or at least what we assume their expectations are, among other things.  God's grace is sufficient, His power is made perfect in weakness, 2 Corinthians 12:9.  He doesn't need my works, He wants my life.  He wants to be my Life!

WE ARE TOO BUSY DOING, RATHER THAN BEING.  I am not saying we need to sit still and do nothing, I am saying we need learn to be at rest internally and follow God's lead in the doing.  I am far from figuring this out, so I won't continue to try to explain something that I do not even comprehend.  Just food for thought, I guess.  The enemy wants us busy.  He wants us to do things in our own strength.  He knows that then we are powerless and we will fail to point others to Jesus.  We become ineffective.  

Told you, random ;-/

Father God, thank You that You are in control.  That You provide rest and then the strength to take the next step.  I thank You that though I am weak You are willing and able to use me for Your glory when I submit to You and Your will.  Please God, continue to reveal Yourself to us.  Help us to desire You more.  Thank You for never giving up on me.  Your faithfulness is amazing!  I so don't get it, but I am oh so grateful for it.  Please God take this rambling and reveal Yourself.  Thank You for reaching me. For lifting me out of the miry pit and placing my feet on solid ground.  Thank You for being my refuge and my stronghold.  I choose to delight in You.  I choose to seek You.  I chose to live in the moment.  Right now.  Again.  Thank You for the moments of victory, peace and joy.  Thank You for the moments of pain, heartache, sadness that force me to be dependent upon You.  I will rejoice in You!  I belong to You and I am so glad.  Thank You for putting up with me again and again and again.  I love You, God and I am beyond grateful to be loved!

Sadness...to...joy in Jesus!

I am in a battle today to apply what I have been saying in my times with the Lord and here with you.  Truly I want to, but oh, it hurts so much.  I feel the need to 'write my own Psalm' today.  A psalm is a sacred song or hymn or prayer.  Well, I'm definitely not a song writer but I can pray.  The Lord has led me to Psalm 69.  I think I will share parts of it with you as well as slog through my own issues.  You may want to turn back now...just saying.

Father, my heart is heavy.  The opportunity to hurt with others has caused me to be overwhelmed a bit and in that I now find that I am heavy with my own hurts this morning.  I come to You with it all.  I choose to give it to You, yet You know the giving doesn't mean it is gone.  Therein lies the battle.  For me God, depression is and has been a way of life, therefore when sadness comes, legitimate sadness, hurt or pain, not just the hormonal lack, I often do not know how to handle it.  I want to learn.  I want to be real with You and I do not want to pretend anymore.  I know in my head this morning that You are in control.  That You are trustworthy, but I am struggling with the 'knowing.'  I find that Psalm 69 is resonating with my spirit today.

Save me, God, for the water has risen to my neck.  I have sunk in deep mud and there is no footing; I have come into deep waters, and a flood sweeps over me.  I am weary from crying; my throat is parched.  My eyes fail, looking for my God.  Psalm 69:1-3

I don't do sad well, God.  In my sadness I usually get angry and deny those feelings that are real. For me anger is an expression of emotion that has always been 'acceptable', whereas, sadness is to be denied or avoided at all costs.

Sad (ness) - affected by unhappiness or grief; sorrowful or mournful; expressive of or characterized by sorrow; causing sorrow.
Depressed - to make sad or gloomy; lower is spirits; deject; dispirit; to lower in force, vigor, activity, etc.; weaken; make dull. 
Anger - strong resentment, a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong, grief, trouble.  (Also I found it interesting that the word angry can also mean inflamed, as a sore.)

This I know, I must bring my sadness to the Father.  I must face it for what it is and no longer deny it or mask it as something else if I want to be healed and/or be able to walk in the victory that He promises.  Healing is a process as is most every thing else.  Sometimes the scab gets ripped off and it just plain hurts.  I can either chose to sit here with the scab ripped off, bleeding and in pain or go to the One Who Heals for treatment.  Ok, so I chose to come to You, Father.

You, Father, know the specifics of the pain I feel.  You know the disappointments, the hurts, the betrayal, the abandonment, the sense of guilt that tries to rise up.  You alone, understand.  You alone, know.  Forgive me for trying to figure it out once again.  For trying to control myself to the point that I feel that to be sad is wrong.  Not true.  To feel sad is to feel sad.  To be effected by unhappiness.  To cry is to release the emotion rather than bottle it up and misuse it.  My sadness is valid, it is legitimate and yet it is not all there is.  Thank You God!  Thank You that I can give this heartache and pain to You.  I can trust You to be gentle with me.  To love me regardless of what I feel.  To speak to me even when I am sad, even when I am struggling not to be anxious about the fact that I am sad.  Thank You for allowing me the clarity of mind to be able to express intense sadness and now no longer feel overwhelmed by it. That is You at work in me, no question!  Thank You!  I can sense Your presence changing me.  I am so grateful.

vs. 5, God, You know my foolishness and my guilty acts are not hidden from You...  Thank You that You do not reject me.  That You love me because of Who You Are.

vs. 8, I have become a stranger...  But praise God I am not a stranger to You.  To You I am known intimately and I can know You intimately.  What hope that brings.

vs. 13, Lord, my prayer to You is for a time of favor; in Your abundant, faithful love, God, answer me with Your sure salvation...  I am in Your favor, God, I am so grateful.  The pain is still here, the sadness though is being replaced with the joy of knowing the You love me in Your faithfulness and that You have saved me from myself, from my sin and from the things and people in this world that hurt me.  Because of Jesus!  Thank You, Jesus!  To be in Your presence, this is favor.

vs.  14, Rescue me... 
vs. 16, Answer me, LORD, for Your faithful love is good; in keeping with Your great compassion, turn to me...  As I sit here processing God, You are actively rescuing me...I know it.  I sense it.  I feel it.  The tide of the flood is turning and it is no longer overwhelming me but receding.  You are so faithful to answer my cry, Lord.  Thank You for teaching me slowly how to truly turn myself over to You.  Thank You for Your great compassion.  That You would turn to me is overwhelming.  I am grateful.

vs. 32b-33, 34,  You who seek God, take heart!  For the LORD listens to the needy and does not despise His own who are prisoners.  Let heaven and earth praise Him...God will save...He will build up...those who love His name will live...  I am determined to seek You, God, therefore I will take heart.  I know that it is You and Your strength alone with which I am able to seek You.  Thank You for allowing me to be needy so that You hear me and do not despise me.  Thank You that You are worthy of all praise and that You will save.  You have saved me.  I am saved.  I do not have to live in defeat, hurt and sadness.  Yes, I can experience it, I will experience it, but I do not have so sit in it and soak or drown.  You are faithful!  I am heard.  I will praise You!

Right now, I surrender the desire to figure 'it' out, to try to 'fix' it, and try to avoid it. Thank You for allowing me this time this morning to be sad, to cry, to rant and rave, to be hurt and in pain and yet for not allowing me to stay there!  I have Your joy, truly.  I feel Your hope, truly.  I sense Your presence.  I know that You are at work and You will work everything out in Your time and I chose this day, this moment to look to You and You alone.  You!

Father God, You are mighty to save.  You are worthy of praise.  You are righteous.  You are faithful.  You are full of mercy and grace.  You are love.  You love.  You are strong and able.  I praise You because You are praise worthy.  I praise You because You are sovereign.  I praise You because You are all-knowing, all-loving, and ever present.  I am never alone.  I am never on my own to walk this walk, to live this life.  You are there, You are here.  You!  Thank You for Your provision.  Thank You that I do not have to understand.  That You have brought forth the ability to trust You, You have shown Yourself trustworthy once again.  Thank You, Father!  Thank You, Jesus!  Thank You, Holy Spirit!  I will go forth in praise!

Rest to SOAR

Isaiah 40:28-31
28)  Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. 
29)  He give strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
30)  Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; 
31)  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  

I have a lot on my mind this morning, let's see where the Lord takes us.

I am currently thinking about Mark's and my recent trip to Gatlinburg, TN.  What a blessing to be able to get away from the day to day of life.  Truly it was hard to return.  I am thinking about what it means to retreat, rest and then return.   I seem to be really good at retreating...more like withdrawing and hiding rather than to retreat for renewal.  What about you?

Well, it is necessary to retreat to renew...whether it be to get away from the day to day or to simply take the sabbath rest that the Lord has provided.  I have recently been thinking more and more about what a sabbath rest is.  Intriguing.  We often equate rest with laziness or lack of purpose.  Wrong!  A lie from the enemy as a matter of fact.  I believe this to be a tactic of the enemy and one that he has used mightily, particularly in the lives of Christ followers.  I know he has used it in me many times over.  However if our Creator designed creation, declared it good, then rested (and He did, Genesis 2:2) ...perhaps we would be wise to reconsider our stance on sabbath rest.  I am.  I do not have any answers, no solutions, just finally a willingness to consider that perhaps I am missing out on something good that the Father has provided.

I have mentioned before that I tend to be a rather sedentary person, thankfully Mark is a mover...therefore ideally we will provide some balance for each other...he helping me move, me helping him be still.  The thing is though, that while I am often sitting still, I am rarely still.  Internally, I am going at quite a clip, one that might even keep up with Mark if I could actually move that fast, haha!

Thus, this journey God has me on...a deliberate desire to learn, a choosing if you will, "to be still and know that He is God" Psalm 46:10.  

So to Isaiah...that same word know in Psalm 46:10 shows up here in verse 28, yada, to know (learn to know; to perceive and see, find out and discern; to know by experience).  This word excites me, it gives me hope.  I can "know" that He is God.  I can "know"all that He has for me in Isaiah 48:28-31, in His Word, period.  I can KNOW, PERCEIVE, SEE, FIND OUT, KNOW BY EXPERIENCE because God says I can!  Whoa!  I am thankful and I want to know.  Truly know Him and the power of His resurrection (Philippians 3:10).

So I need to ask myself a couple questions.  You may want to ask yourself as well...Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  I mean really, do we know, have we heard?  Are we willing to allow the knowing to become more than head knowledge and be a knowing by experience?  There is so much to know...look for starters...

The LORD (Yehovah, Jehovah, the existing one-occurs 6,820 times in KJV)
Everlasting ((owlam) - continuous existence
God (elohiym) - Elohim is the first name for God in the Bible, most frequently used in the OT (equivalent - Theos - in the NT)
Creator (bara) - create, shape, form

So I am getting carried away...but seriously, look at WHO GOD IS IN JUST THIS ONE VERSE!!
He is so amazing, so awesome!  He is is control, He is in charge.  Look...He created all and He does not become weary - EVER!  The Word says 'His understanding no one can fathom!'  I mean get that!  He is!

Back to the thought of rest...He took the sabbath rest because He was done creating, not because He was tired or weary.  Complete.  He means for us to have a sabbath...a time of rest.  I am beginning to grasp that He wants to provide that rest for us often, not as a vacation or retreat, although those are definitely nice.  But as a deliberate provision to help us regain our strength, in HIM.  Do you ever find yourself weary, fatigued, faint?  Uh, yeah!  How about more often than not!  Honestly, rarely do I feel strong.  Rarely do I have any umph!  What I know...truly know...is that when I choose to meet with my LORD, He really does give me His strength!  I mean, sign me up...I am no longer a youth (and even they grow weary), I definitely stumble and fall, I am weary and weak!  And yet...HE IS NOT!!! EVER!!!!

So what is my choice?  This moment, this day?  To place my HOPE in the LORD!  I can choose to stay weary, to be weak or chose to soar in His strength!!!!  Not much of a choice when it is put like that is it???  I so want to soar!!!  I want to run for Him, with Him and not grow weary.  I want to be able to walk and not faint.  Whatever the moment calls for I want to be aware of my LORD, my Creator, the Everlasting God...who says He is with me all the time, providing, sustaining, redeeming, renewing, strengthening!

He does the work if I will let Him!  Why wouldn't I let Him?  Maybe because I am hard-headed, stubborn, foolish, misguided, confused...but this doesnt' have to be true of me, not if I am willing to submit, to give Him Lordship, control.  I am willing!  I want to be more and more willing, more and more often.  I want to walk in His ways, not my own!  Mine don't work!  Mine make me miserable, unhappy, sad, etc... in His ways I can soar!  Soar!!!  Doesn't mean that my circumstances or the people around me have necessarily changed or gotten better, but it does mean that HE IS CHANGING ME!  He is giving me eyes to see Him and the strength to obey.  He says we only have to ask...Ephesians 1:18, Luke 11:9, James 1:5, Ephesians 3:20, 1 John 5:14 and on and on.  He is the Great I AM!  HE IS!

Oh, God, create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit with in me.  Do not cast me from Your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  (Psalm 51:10)   Help me to take delight in You, LORD, may the desires of my heart be Yours as I learn to delight in You.  May I commit my way to You, LORD and trust in You to act.  (Psalm 37:4-5)

May I learn what Your sabbath rest needs to look like in my own life, God.  Hebrew 4:9-11 says, " A Sabbath rest remains, therefore, for God's people.  For the person who has entered His rest has rested from his own works, just as God did from His.  Let us them make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall into the same pattern of disobedience."  The word rest (katapausis) means a putting to rest, a calming of the winds, a resting place.  Only His rest can provide this.

Bear with me here as I apply this as I see it.  My job is to rest, to be (remember that?...cease striving, stop fighting, be still).  It is His job to give me strength, power...to MAKE ME SOAR!  I look to Him.  To see Him.  To recognize Who He is.   I can chose to give Him my weariness over and over again.  My will or even lack of will.  Weariness is part of this fallen world, but He never grows tired or weary.  He is always in control.  He is always faithful.  He is always available and willing to do the work, provide the strength... I must trust in Him, rest in Him, look to Him and Him alone.  My choice.  Yours.  I believe that rest, even sabbath rest is what we receive on the inside when we meet with Him, when we allow Him to be in charge, when we submit.  Rest comes internally.  Yes, we need to choose to rest physically as that is a necessary part of life, but how often have you tried to rest and the inside of you continues to move out of control.  Anybody besides me?  We must meet with Him in order to receive His rest.

Meeting with Him, deliberately.  Seeking Him, choosing.  Therein lies the rest.  Therein lies the strength.  He increases your desire for Him.   He works.  Now, I am not saying it looks the same for you as it does for me, because it just doesn't.  Our God meets each of us where we are.  He provides for us exactly how and what we need.  Isn't He amazing!  Thank You God!  Please God, give us Your strength to chose to rest in You.  To really rest.  To trust You more fully.  Forgive our doubt.  Our self-sufficiency.  Our lack of willingness to submit.  hank You God!  Please God, give us Your strength to chose to rest in You.  To really rest.  To trust You more fully.  Forgive our doubt.  Our self-sufficiency.  Our lack of willingness to submit.

Forgive me.  Help me to get up from this place of thinking and deliberating and allow You to work in and through me through out the dailyness of life.  Today and beyond.  Thank You for getting my attention, for providing healing with each moment I spend with You.  May I chose to be conscious of You through out the day.  Give me the ability to set my mind on things above where You, Jesus are seated at the right hand of the Father, Colossians 3:1-2.  Thank You for interceding for me.  For never giving up on me.  For loving me.  For providing Your Holy Spirit to live within me so that I am never alone.  Use me for Your glory.  May I point to You, Jesus!  May I rest in You and be busy about what You have for me.  Not what anyone else thinks or wants, including me...May I be about You!  May I KNOW YOU!  May I soar with You!  

The Lord is Near

Philippians 4:5-6
Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.

Gentleness?! What! I have always been more like a 'bull in a china shop!'  Maybe that is why this passage, Philippians 4:4-8, so resonates with me.  The Fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness & self-control, Galatians 5:23-24.  It is His Spirit producing His fruit in us that enables us to be what He wants for us to be.  I love the progression that Philippians 4 takes...step by step.  I like to think I can do something, to improve, to practice steps so to speak.  I can...it's all about submitting, about choosing.  I am aware I keep repeating myself, but I can be a slow learner.  I want to walk in the Spirit & not fulfill the lusts of my flesh, Galatians 5:16.

1.  Rejoice in The Lord. (Vs.4)  Why?  To gain the right perspective for our day.  Because He alone is worthy of praise.  To recognize that He is all!  He is sovereign, He is mighty, etc...

2.  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  (Vs.5) I don't know about you but gaining perspective & reminding myself of the awesomeness of God enables me to become gentle as my importance, opinions, whatever lessen & Who He is becomes my deliberate focus.  Notice that I don't get to choose who I am gentle with...that little word all has shown up again!  How??? Now catch this...

3.  THE LORD IS NEAR!  (Vs. 5) The Lord...the creator of the universe, the sustainer of life, my redeemer...yours, my friend, my all in all... And on & on we can go!  He is near!!!  So near in fact that He lives within me!  Within me!  Whoa!  Think about that!  'To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory, Colossians 1:27.  Recognize His presence...all the time...practice being aware!  He is near therefore I can be gentle & when I am not, because I place my eyes on myself He is His graciousness reminds me that He is near, He is with me & I can apologize for not being gentle.

4.  Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. (Vs. 6).  See the progression?

 Rejoice...how? In The Lord.   Gentleness...how? The Lord is near.  Now, don't worry...how? Give it to God. He even tells us how!!!  Through prayer with thanksgiving! Jump ahead...do you see the result??? The PEACE OF GOD WHICH PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING! What?  We not only get His peace beyond comprehension...but He GUARDS our hearts and our minds with His peace!  Think on that!!!

Ok, ok I know you get it...but will we practice it?

Why do I fight His provision?  Why do I still try so often to skip the steps?  Because I want the peace (the perks, if you will) without the work of recognizing Him.  This is sin.  I must confess my tendency toward self-sufficiency (which doesn't work by the way) and submit to Him!  It is so worth it!

What I am trying to say is don't skip the steps and go straight to always telling God what has you worried & upset.  Instead begin with Him...He will take you on a journey without compare!  When we choose His way!  I know...I am on it!!!  And when I take the steps His way, it is a journey without comparison!  Use your worries, we all have them, as a catalyst to remind you to begin at the beginning rejoicing in Him, recognizing His nearness...He will affect change in you and in me!  We must choose to look to Him!  He does all the work after we make the choice! He will make us thankful, He will provide peace & peace beyond comprehension!  I want it all!!! Don't you?  I want more of Him & less of me!!!

Thank You, Lord for Your Word!  For Your provision to meet us each where we are and Your unwillingness to leave us there!  Thank You for doing the work when we are willing to submit & chose Your ways.  Help us practice choosing to do this journey Your way.  May we practice rejoicing in You, recognizing Your nearness, giving You our anxious thoughts!  Thank You, thank You, thank You for Your peace that passes all understanding!  When we revert back to our old ways of gripping, being harsh, thinking we are in control or worrying because sometimes it just seems easier to give in to ourselves that to surrender to You, may we recognize it.  Give us Your strength to repent & not believe the lies anymore!  Help us grow in this area & walk in Your ways more often than not, no excuses!

Rejoice in The Lord

WHY GOD GAVE US ARMS
Hugs, I believe, are why God gave us arms,
to help us feel safe & secure away from the world's harms.

The best hugs are filled with the unmeasurable love
Which comes from our Heavenly Father above,

He generously gave us the ability to hug & share
His wondrous love & unending care.

Through a hug we unselfishly give
An example of Jesus, who died, so we can live.

You see He died on a cross with arms opened wide,
Inviting us to receive Him & walk by His side.

He not only died, but He rose again,
Cleansing all who believe in Him from sin...

Now do you understand why I believe God gave us arms?

                                                            By Tammy Lay (Vincent)
                                                            Summer 1989


Just thinking of God's provision this morning reminded me of this poem I wrote as a teenager.  So I thought I would share it as I sit here thinking of ways to Rejoice in The Lord. I am away from the computer & attempting to use an iPad ;-) so bear with me please.

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in The Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!

Rejoice:  to be glad; take great delight in; to make joyful.  Some synonyms:  be overjoyed, celebrate, glory, revel, triumph.

How did you do yesterday choosing to rejoice in The Lord?

I struggled.  I mean, is your focus as easily distracted as mine?  It's that word ALWAYS, that gets me.  I am always able to form an opinion. Always able to try & take control of a situation. Always able think the negative or be critical or think about what I want or like or think I need.

But to REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS...now that takes work.  That is not 'natural.'  Wait a minute...if we are in Christ we are no longer 'natural,' the old has passed away and the new has come, 2 Corinthians 5:17.  Christ in us will give us the strength to rejoice in Him! Always is a goal...it will take much practice & truly it won't culminate until heaven.  But that is no excuse...I want to grow in choosing to rejoice in The Lord more often. To take my eyes off my circumstances & deliberately make the choice to rejoice in Him. Do you?

For me this takes me back to the poem from earlier...looking for physical reminders of God's provision helps me to turn my focus on Him.  Arms, hugs...maybe it is simplistic but truly I love hugs! Especially from my husband & children.  I love to be held & hold.  I love to hug a friend as well.  But consider with me a hug from Jesus!  Ultimate love, ultimate security, ultimate peace & an ultimate experience of being known!  He is ALWAYS with us!  He is ALWAYS holding us!!! Oh, too really grasp that would have to lead to us rejoicing in Him!  Do you realize that His Word says He rejoices over you, He takes great delight in you (Zephaniah 3:17).  He is our example in everything!!!

Pay attention to the things that help you turn your focus to Christ, to rejoicing in Him.

I'll leave you with a few more examples:

Music with words that allow me to sing about & to Jesus = rejoicing in The Lord.
A hike in the woods, being surrounded by His creation = rejoicing in The Lord.
A sunrise or sunset.  Looking into the eyes of my husband, really seeing him.
My children and the gift that they are from God.  A dear friend who listens & shares.
Reading His Word & recognizing who God is.  Listening to silence, learning to be still.  Drinking a cup of hot tea.
Crocheting.  Pondering on the Names of God.  Reminiscing.  Writing out my prayers, journaling.  Having plenty to eat.
Worshipping with the body of Christ.  Serving/helping someone.  Simply listening.  Etc...

God gives us all this & much more to help us to chose to rejoice in Him!  Will you join me on this journey His way & choose to rejoice in Him more often, to practice looking at Him & for Him?  He is right there with us all the time! He doesn't hide! He wants to be first in our hearts, our minds & our lives!  CHOOSE HIM!  He has already chosen you!

Oh, God give us eyes to see You!  The strength to choose to rejoice in You more & more each day!  What peace, what joy would be ours!  Forgive me for being so easily distracted, so selfish.  Thank You, Father, that no matter what our circumstances, our pain, our issues...You are there with us!  You are sovereign, in complete control, & we can choose to trust You & even rejoice in You & You will provide peace!  The choice is so hard to make sometimes, Lord, but so possible when we cry out to You!  Use the things in the daily-ness of our lives to help us learn to REJOICE IN YOU! Remind us that this is an internal rejoicing (not always outward), a joy, a gladness that You produce in us regardless of circumstances...a looking to You that leads to hope...You are the God of hope!  We can always find ways to celebrate You if we really want to!  Give us the want to!  Change us from the inside out & give us the opportunity to point others to You!

A skim through Philippians 4:4-8

Philippians 4:4-8 (HCSB)
4)  Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!
5)  Let your graciousness be know to everyone.  The Lord is near. 
6)  Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  
7)  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8)  Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable--if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise--dwell on these things.  

I am probably going to camp out here a bit (few days) as otherwise my almost always 3 pages will be ridiculous!!!  I can't seem to stop!  Thank you so much for taking the time to go on this Journey His Way with me.  I pray that God is revealing Himself through His Word to You.

This is one of my favorite passages.  It is so packed full of truths!  Father God, help me to truly 'grasp' the principles for living in these verses.  So an overview from my perspective.

Some key words...rejoice, always, graciousness (gentleness), Lord, near, everything, through prayer, petition, thanksgiving, requests, made known, God, peace, surpasses, thought, guard, hearts, minds, in Christ Jesus, whatever, true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, moral excellence, praise, dwell on.   Ok, I know I picked very nearly every word as a key word - so I struggle with narrowing :-)  But seriously, how do you jump over any one of these words!  And do I even know how to do an overview - guess we will see...probably not!

What I notice most about this passage is the action involves me.  I must take steps, no one else can do for me.  And not only that but I must recognize that the Lord is near, He wants to hear my thoughts, requests, fears, worries, passion, all of it.  He does!  Not only do I need to take action, but He commands it.  For each of us.  But oh, what rewards, His peace that surpasses every thought, all understanding.  Did you notice that His peace not only comes but it guards our hearts and our minds!  Huge! Then in that guarding He helps us dwell on right thoughts!!!!  My action, yet His strength! His work!  I love how this passage progresses step by step.

Rejoice.  What a word.  Rejoice - chairo - a verb, used as an imperative, to be glad.  But we can't stop at the word rejoice or be glad.  Because then it would simply be all in our own strength, our own wills.  It DOES NOT SAY TO REJOICE in the circumstances, in the trials, in the pain, even in the good things...It DOES SAY TO REJOICE IN THE LORD!  Rejoice in the Lord!  In Him and in Him alone!  He is to be our focus!  So often I want to jump past that fact.  Oh, I want the peace, I want to give Him all my anxious thoughts etc...but I am missing too much.  I must rejoice in Him, see Him and His bigness, then the things of this life grow smaller!  Focus on Him brings gladness, relief, peace.  He then makes me gentle...why?  Because He is near!  He is always near the difference comes when I focus on Him I recognize His nearness and then He can affect change in me and in my responses to those around me!  Finally, think on whatever is true, noble, pure, etc...well, again that is Him!  He is truth!  Him.  Think on Him.  God knows that in our humanness we are gonna dwell!  But to chose to dwell on Him therein lies the peace that passes understanding, the ability to rejoice and be glad, in HIM!!!

Father God, thank You for the TRUTH of Your Word!  For the practicality of it.  May we choose, may I choose, to apply it.  May I rejoice in You and stop making excuses.  Stop dwelling on things that are not of You.  To recognize Your nearness, to give You every thought, emotion etc...and then receive from You the peace that is beyond comprehension!  Thank You for Your amazing provision in the dailyness of our lives!  Remind us that we have much to rejoice in You.  When we get distracted, remind us again and again.  Thank You for Your faithfulness, Your gentleness, Your provision...  For YOU, Jesus!

Abba, Daddy

I sit here today thinking about God as my Father, my Abba. As that little girl who runs unabashedly and jumps into His arms.  No wondering if He will catch me.  No wondering if He will be paying attention.  No wondering if He hears my cries.  No wondering if He loves me.  No wondering...

Knowing.

Romans 8:14-16 
(14) All those led by God's Spirit are God's sons.
(15)  For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father!'
(16)  The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God's children. 

I am thinking too hard.  I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the God of the universe.  The Creator of all things.  The Holy and Righteous One.  The Faithful One.  Who is forgiving, loving, merciful, steadfast, immovable, all-sufficient, all-knowing, ever-present...is my DADDY.   I am overwhelmed.  I am unworthy.  I am amazed.

To see Who He is.  To know Him as my Abba.

Often I forget that I did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear...I so battle with fear.  Fear of failing.  Fear of not measuring up.  Fear of disappointing.  Fear of getting 'it' wrong.  Fear of abandonment.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of fear.

Here's that word again.  Choose.  I must choose to either be enslaved once again to fear, which is a lie, or allow the Holy Spirit of God, to whom I belong,  remind me that the TRUTH IS I am MY DADDY'S DAUGHTER!  The Word says I 'did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear.'  I have been chosen, I have been adopted by the only One who is able to fulfill all His promises.  He cannot fail.  He cannot quit.  He cannot reject me.  He chose me.  I am His baby girl.  His!  I can cry out to Him.

Will I chose to 'walk by the Spirit'?  Or will I chose to 'fulfill the desires of my flesh?'  - Galatians 5:16.  Will I hold my head up as a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords?  This makes me a princess.  Me.  Will I give in to the fear that I must earn the love of my father?  Will I give in to the fear that I am unloveable and rejected? Will I give in to hurt and anger?  Selfish ambitions?  Envy?  If I do, then I am believing the father of lies!  And he is not my daddy!!!

Thank You, Holy Spirit for testifying within my spirit today, that I am God's child.  This isn't a distant thought or a concept to think about.  This is a fact.  This is what I know!  I am so thankful that being Your daughter isn't about me, about what I can do, or can't do.  Our relationship is all because of Who You Are!  Thank You, Father for being so much more than a distant father who directs, and rules and expects.  That You are a Daddy who desires to be with me.  That You are my defender, protector, my deliverer, my shield.  You are tender, loving, gentle, kind.  You are attentive.  You are interested.  Thank You, God that Your Word says, "He will rejoice over you with gladness.  He will bring You quietness with His love.  He will delight in you with shouts of joy."  Zephaniah 3:17.  Me.    You, Father, the God of All things do all this for me and are all this to me.  Thank You.  Increase my trust in You.  May I run to You will the abandon of that little girl deep within me that knows You never let go.  Forgive me for holding back, for giving in to fear, for not trusting You completely.  For striving so hard to understand instead of resting in You and the truth of all You are.  Thank You for never giving up on me.  For delighting in me.  Me.   

Wait, it also says at the beginning of verse 17, "The LORD your God is among you, a warrior who saves.   You are a warrior who saves!  Until today, I had skimmed past that part of the verse in a hurry to see You rejoice over me.  But the fact is You are my warrior!  You save me!  You saved me eternally through sending Your Son, Jesus, to die for my sins and rise again so that I may have life.  Life with You, here and now as well as in heaven one day.  You also save me daily!  From myself, from falling back into the slavery of fear and so much more!  Our relationship is ongoing.  You make it active.  You fight for me.  You protect me.  You save me, rejoice over me with gladness, You quiet me with Your love.  You delight in me with shouts of joy!  You are Amazing God!  I praise You because You alone are worthy to be praised.  You fight, Father, I choose to rest.  I choose to trust You.  I will wait while You work.

Oh, Abba, thank You!  Really.  THANK YOU!!!