The line to a song jumped out at me the other day..."You are gonna move, how You are gonna move today, help me to follow along."
Absolutely! Exactly! God is at work and I want to join Him in His work not try to make my own work. Much easier said than done, I know, trust me.
Psalm 25:4-5, "Show me Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me. For You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day."
LORD: SHOW ME...TEACH ME...LEAD ME..TEACH ME...I WAIT.
YOUR WAYS...YOUR PATHS...YOUR TRUTH...YOU ARE GOD...MY SALVATION...ON YOU...ALL THE DAY!
I so want to be shown His ways, taught His paths and to be lead in His truth - He is the God of my salvation and I will wait on Him. Father, while I want to be shown Your ways, increase my 'want-er', please. Help me to truly be teachable and to learn Your Word so that I can be lead in Your truth. I praise You that You are the God, the LORD and master of my salvation! I declare that I will wait on You all the day - and I ask that when I forget to wait or I try to take control once again (I know myself;) that You, Father with get my attention and again show me Your ways, teach me Your paths, lead me in Your truth and make me teachable.
Psalm 143:8, "Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."
Father, I know the ability to hear Your lovingkindness comes from You so I ask that You would cause me to be able to hear loud and clear. Please remove from my mind the typical distractions that I fight with and enable me to trust You, fully trust You. Cause, make it so, me to know the way in which I should walk...for I do lift my soul up to You. Cleanse me and purify me, make me whole and give me ears to hear. I thank You for the promise of Your Word and Your ability to keep Your promises.
I think about the word lovingkindness. A compound word of two words, loving and kindness. It is mind blowing really to think about. God's love is beyond loving and it is kind as well and His kindness is beyond kind it is loving as well! Am I the only one who is consistently blown away by the fact that God is always above and beyond in EVERYTHING??? And by the mere fact that He allows me to experience Him personally...to have an intimate relationship where He is enabling me to know Him! He is so good!!! Isn't He!!!
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Psalm 32:8, "I will instruct You and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."
Isaiah 30:21, "Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left."
Isaiah 58:11, "The LORD will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones, you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."
John 16:13, "When He, the Spirit of Truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come."
John 14:8, "Jesus said, 'I am The Way, The Truth, and The Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'"
John 8:32, "You shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free."
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Look at the Truth of His Word...
He takes the responsibility to instruct me and lead me where I should go. The LORD Who Sees knows where to guide me - all the time.
He says my ears will hear a word behind me telling me which way to walk. He will straighten out my paths when I go to the right or the left.
He promises to guide me CONTINUALLY and beyond that to satisfy my soul and strengthen my bones. When I am in drought (when I feel like I cannot go on) He will satisfy my soul (not necessarily change my circumstances), strengthen my bones to the point that I am like a watered garden and even more a spring whose waters never fail! Think about that! He renews me from the inside out until I am bubbling over like a never-ending spring! Oh, God, I so want the truth of this in my life! Forgive me for relying on me, not listening to You and not allowing You to satisfy my soul because I am too focused on trying to hear!!! You do not say that I have to work hard to hear but that You will allow me to hear!!!
Thank You for Your Holy Spirit who lives inside of me! Thank You that He will guide me into all Truth! Thank You for revealing Yourself to me as the Way, the Truth and the Life so that I can have a personal, intimate relationship with You! Help me to know Your Truth and be set free! Give me ears to hear (Matthew 11:15). I do pray that I will be obedient and walk in Your ways. I know You are at work, help me to join You where You are and not worry about the rest. I praise You and thank You for Your plans and Your purposes for me. You know every detail and You are fully in control. Increase my trust, Father, in the dailyness of my life. May I quietly wait on Your salvation, Your direction for my days and be still and know that You are my God. I declare that You are who You say You are and that what You say about me is true! I am loved. I am accepted. I am forgiven. Thank You for Your faithfulness, that is Great! I praise You because You alone are worthy to be praised. May I praise You with my actions as well as my Words. Use me, however You chose...
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
"Epiphany"
Epiphany - a moment of sudden revelation or insight
What a great word! I have had such a moment...the epiphanies that I experience however while sudden in their revelation have come often after months or even years of agonizing. I am in such a place today. God is so good to continually work and reveal to me what it is I need.
Yesterday, at the advice of a friend I watch a documentary and throughout this viewing, God revealed Himself to me as well as revealing myself to me. I sat through it and realized at one point that I am normal. Really??? My emotions, my feelings and my need to express them or the fact that I am at times overwhelmed by them simply means I am human and I am normal. I know, you probably know this already and while I do not know how you think, I know that I often try to hold myself to a standard of perfection (completely understanding that I am not perfect I still expect it) and I spend a whole lot of time beating myself up for things such as sadness, hurt or a mistake that I have made. I would not begin to expect you to not be sad or hurt or to not make mistakes but I do expect myself to just get over things or not be moved by them so when I am I would often be devastated by these feelings.
Okay here is one example. All three of my kids actually moved away this year - at the same time. I have been a stay-at-home mom and homeschool mom most of their growing up years. Now, while I am excited for them, while I know it is what God has for them, I have fought the emotions that this change of season has brought for me. I felt like I needed to just be happy, and while I have felt relieved over some of the change in my responsibilities I have not truly allowed myself to feel the emotions of sadness or the fact that I am overwhelmed with where all the time has gone, what is my purpose now, etc. Make any sense at all? I have instead analyzed myself, berated myself and focused on myself for other things avoiding the true reason for my emotion and in so doing made myself worse than if I would just take the time to be honest with myself and take it to the Lord. Why I do this is rooted in some coping mechanisms that I have spent years 'perfecting' and honestly they have failed me more than once!
Why? Because I have been asking God for years to change me from the inside out and to do this He must reveal to me all the things that I have been relying on rather than Him.
Here is another piece of hard, crusty clay He chipped off yesterday and is continuing to work on today (and beyond I am sure) - self-reliance or control. He revealed to me that I have been sitting and souring in sin. The sins of fear and anxiety, of self-reliance, of false expectations and beyond... Allowing sadness (for many reasons not just the one listed above) to become sin because I am sitting and soaking in it rather than casting it upon God and leaving it there. Oh, I am casting all right, but I continually find that I pick it back up - therefore; apparently I have some trust issues, huh? Yep, I do.
God has graciously revealed to me where I have once again bought the enemy's subtle lies and allowed them to become part of the fabric of my days. While I have 'depressive' tendencies and the label of ADHD this is not who I am. I had begun to believe it was. Foolishness, I know and boy, does it make me mad to realize how I have fallen for the tricks once again. The thing is I realize it again and I will not stay here in this place because God has revealed it and He will give me the strength to walk from it. Everything else is simply an excuse. I am really good at making excuses. Thankfully, God knows the truth and He does not accept my excuses and He knows that truly I want to be delivered and changed!
As I realized yesterday some of the sin that I had allowed myself to sit in, today God has shown me how to specifically stay away from it - to fight against it. I am not messed up or broken any more than anyone else is (I am simply human) and the fact is I AM REDEEMED and this is where I need to live and breathe!
In the book "The Grace of God" by Andy Stanley, he has been teaching on Rahab and her choices. The way she was able to walk away from her labels (In the book of Joshua). It is a process, a journey. I am on the same journey she was on, and I need to continually walk away from who I was before Christ and walk in the truth of who I am in Christ. The enemy does not want this. He wants to trap me in my 'stinking' thinking and make me believe that I am nothing, that I am not who God says I am.
Andy Stanley suggests this prayer as a way to continually renew our minds and recognize the truth of God in our lives daily... "Heavenly Father, I believe that Your grace is more powerful than my label. I believe that Christ died to pay the penalty for the sin my label represents. I believe You are offering me a new label. FORGIVEN. ACCEPTED. LOVED. Today I declare that what You say about me is true. I am forgiven. I am accepted. I am loved. Teach me to live my life in accordance with who You say I am. Amen."
Slowly, but surely God is changing me! Each epiphany gets me just that much further along in this Journey His Way. Truly, I want to walk it His way. I must admit. I must submit. I must commit.
Join me please...His Journey is the best journey!
Father God, I have said so much today already, but I find I still have words in me ;) Thank You for getting my attention and for releasing this burden and restoring my hope. Thank You that You love me so much that You are unwilling to leave me at anytime for any reason no matter how hard I push or how much I fight. Thank You for softening my heart and opening my eyes. May I walk in the truth of Your Word...that You forgive me, You accept me and You love me!!! God, I cannot say thank You enough. Please God continue to change my thinking and please continue to get my attention when I stray from Your truth. Thank You for Your provision. Your sufficiency. Thank You for You.
What a great word! I have had such a moment...the epiphanies that I experience however while sudden in their revelation have come often after months or even years of agonizing. I am in such a place today. God is so good to continually work and reveal to me what it is I need.
Yesterday, at the advice of a friend I watch a documentary and throughout this viewing, God revealed Himself to me as well as revealing myself to me. I sat through it and realized at one point that I am normal. Really??? My emotions, my feelings and my need to express them or the fact that I am at times overwhelmed by them simply means I am human and I am normal. I know, you probably know this already and while I do not know how you think, I know that I often try to hold myself to a standard of perfection (completely understanding that I am not perfect I still expect it) and I spend a whole lot of time beating myself up for things such as sadness, hurt or a mistake that I have made. I would not begin to expect you to not be sad or hurt or to not make mistakes but I do expect myself to just get over things or not be moved by them so when I am I would often be devastated by these feelings.
Okay here is one example. All three of my kids actually moved away this year - at the same time. I have been a stay-at-home mom and homeschool mom most of their growing up years. Now, while I am excited for them, while I know it is what God has for them, I have fought the emotions that this change of season has brought for me. I felt like I needed to just be happy, and while I have felt relieved over some of the change in my responsibilities I have not truly allowed myself to feel the emotions of sadness or the fact that I am overwhelmed with where all the time has gone, what is my purpose now, etc. Make any sense at all? I have instead analyzed myself, berated myself and focused on myself for other things avoiding the true reason for my emotion and in so doing made myself worse than if I would just take the time to be honest with myself and take it to the Lord. Why I do this is rooted in some coping mechanisms that I have spent years 'perfecting' and honestly they have failed me more than once!
Why? Because I have been asking God for years to change me from the inside out and to do this He must reveal to me all the things that I have been relying on rather than Him.
Here is another piece of hard, crusty clay He chipped off yesterday and is continuing to work on today (and beyond I am sure) - self-reliance or control. He revealed to me that I have been sitting and souring in sin. The sins of fear and anxiety, of self-reliance, of false expectations and beyond... Allowing sadness (for many reasons not just the one listed above) to become sin because I am sitting and soaking in it rather than casting it upon God and leaving it there. Oh, I am casting all right, but I continually find that I pick it back up - therefore; apparently I have some trust issues, huh? Yep, I do.
God has graciously revealed to me where I have once again bought the enemy's subtle lies and allowed them to become part of the fabric of my days. While I have 'depressive' tendencies and the label of ADHD this is not who I am. I had begun to believe it was. Foolishness, I know and boy, does it make me mad to realize how I have fallen for the tricks once again. The thing is I realize it again and I will not stay here in this place because God has revealed it and He will give me the strength to walk from it. Everything else is simply an excuse. I am really good at making excuses. Thankfully, God knows the truth and He does not accept my excuses and He knows that truly I want to be delivered and changed!
As I realized yesterday some of the sin that I had allowed myself to sit in, today God has shown me how to specifically stay away from it - to fight against it. I am not messed up or broken any more than anyone else is (I am simply human) and the fact is I AM REDEEMED and this is where I need to live and breathe!
In the book "The Grace of God" by Andy Stanley, he has been teaching on Rahab and her choices. The way she was able to walk away from her labels (In the book of Joshua). It is a process, a journey. I am on the same journey she was on, and I need to continually walk away from who I was before Christ and walk in the truth of who I am in Christ. The enemy does not want this. He wants to trap me in my 'stinking' thinking and make me believe that I am nothing, that I am not who God says I am.
Andy Stanley suggests this prayer as a way to continually renew our minds and recognize the truth of God in our lives daily... "Heavenly Father, I believe that Your grace is more powerful than my label. I believe that Christ died to pay the penalty for the sin my label represents. I believe You are offering me a new label. FORGIVEN. ACCEPTED. LOVED. Today I declare that what You say about me is true. I am forgiven. I am accepted. I am loved. Teach me to live my life in accordance with who You say I am. Amen."
Slowly, but surely God is changing me! Each epiphany gets me just that much further along in this Journey His Way. Truly, I want to walk it His way. I must admit. I must submit. I must commit.
Join me please...His Journey is the best journey!
Father God, I have said so much today already, but I find I still have words in me ;) Thank You for getting my attention and for releasing this burden and restoring my hope. Thank You that You love me so much that You are unwilling to leave me at anytime for any reason no matter how hard I push or how much I fight. Thank You for softening my heart and opening my eyes. May I walk in the truth of Your Word...that You forgive me, You accept me and You love me!!! God, I cannot say thank You enough. Please God continue to change my thinking and please continue to get my attention when I stray from Your truth. Thank You for Your provision. Your sufficiency. Thank You for You.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Becoming Steadfast in Faith..
A statement 'hit' me this morning in "Jesus Calling" for October 22, "Start talking with Me about whatever is on your mind. Rejoice in the fact that I understand you perfectly, and I know exactly what you are experiencing."
Have you experienced this? I have and when I do it is glorious! Just talking with God and having the assurance that He knows me and He gets me. I wish I had this experience all of the time, I do not. In fact, more often than not I am wondering if He really gets me then why am I experiencing what I am experiencing? But, when I go to Him and ask Him those questions ultimately He gets through to me. Sometimes it takes longer than other times, it all depends upon my willingness to listen. Usually I would rather talk or only want to hear what I want to hear. Do you ever have this experience?
Recently in listening to a few Andy Stanley sermons from his "Twisted" series, I learned that though we often ask why, the answer is found in the general knowledge that the world is broken by sin and thus we are decaying from the moment we are born so difficulties come, disease is a part of this world, etc. In fact the why is not often answered specifically for us but often generally as being just part of this corrupt and evil world that we live in where the enemy is in charge but will ultimately lose. He also pointed out that any answers we receive as to why are often emotionally unsatisfying - I find this to often be true. My focus needs to be on Christ not on the whys.
The fact is this earth is not my home. His Word tells me in 1 Peter 5:9-11, "Resist him (Satan, the father of this world), steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever."
All I know is that God can handle my questions, my pain, my joys, my hope, my doubt, my failings, in fact, He knows them better than I do myself. I am thankful that He gives me His strength to come to Him. He allows me to talk it all over with Him and if I will listen He has much to say. The hardest part for me is in the waiting for Him to say what it is that He wants me to know. I find that I want, as in most relationships, instant feedback and I prefer that someone agree with me :-/ so in my relationship with the Lord I am often the same way. He knows this, He made me after all; however He is also patient with me and willing to continually bring me around to the point that I am willing to listen, to truly listen. And remind me that ultimately, in heaven all will be perfect!
I cannot resist the enemy without the Lord's strength, nor be steadfast in faith. He is in me and He is consistently providing what I need if I am willing to receive it from Him! Why would I not want to receive it from Him? Sin. Straight up sin. I mean I call it attitude. I call it fear and anxiety. I call it fighting for what is right. I call 'it' many things, but it is sin in my life when I try to exist in my own strength and give in to the sufferings of this life rather than recognize that this suffering is to perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me and most importantly to bring Him glory. His grace is about relationship with me, not rules to follow. The 'rules' are there to protect me and remind me that I am already in relationship with Him not that I must earn that relationship.
I don't know, Lord, I have so much running through my mind that I am not sure that it makes sense to anyone but You. Thank You that I can talk to You about anything, the good, the bad, the ugly and You will listen with compassion and understanding and beyond that You will help. Whether it be to bring conviction and change my thinking or with assurance that You understand and You love me, period. God, You are so good to me. I do want to rejoice in You and I know that You even go so far as to provide that want to. Forgive me for being so changeable. At one point I am fussing and railing and yet if I am bringing it to You then You are faithful, in Your timing, not mine, to bring me around to rejoicing and thankfulness. Help me to continue to bring my questions, my hurts, my hopes etc. to You...may I do my part and chose to trust You for each detail and yet even in this You provide my ability to trust. Thank You, Father. Thank You that You have a purpose behind, in and through all that touches my life and that You are not bothered, confused or stressed by any of it. Forgive me for giving in more often to my feelings than standing in faith upon the Truth of Your Word and Who You Are. Thank You, Jesus for making a way for me to have a relationship with my Father. Help me to learn to be steadfast in faith. God, forgive me for more often falling to the temptation to isolate and quit than to persevere and trust in You. Again, You tell me to wait, to be still...God forgive me for being so frustrated with that answer and for constantly trying to figure out what I am waiting for rather than simply obeying. I mean I know I am to wait for You to rescue me and to direct me but most of the time I forget I know it and begin to compare myself to what I 'used to do' or 'used to be' or what You have others doing instead of being confident that You have me and You are not late. Transform me from the inside out, Lord. May I truly be willing to change my thinking particularly about myself. Forgive me for getting stuck there so many times. May You have Your way in me and may I learn this lesson that You are trying to teach me...
Have you experienced this? I have and when I do it is glorious! Just talking with God and having the assurance that He knows me and He gets me. I wish I had this experience all of the time, I do not. In fact, more often than not I am wondering if He really gets me then why am I experiencing what I am experiencing? But, when I go to Him and ask Him those questions ultimately He gets through to me. Sometimes it takes longer than other times, it all depends upon my willingness to listen. Usually I would rather talk or only want to hear what I want to hear. Do you ever have this experience?
Recently in listening to a few Andy Stanley sermons from his "Twisted" series, I learned that though we often ask why, the answer is found in the general knowledge that the world is broken by sin and thus we are decaying from the moment we are born so difficulties come, disease is a part of this world, etc. In fact the why is not often answered specifically for us but often generally as being just part of this corrupt and evil world that we live in where the enemy is in charge but will ultimately lose. He also pointed out that any answers we receive as to why are often emotionally unsatisfying - I find this to often be true. My focus needs to be on Christ not on the whys.
The fact is this earth is not my home. His Word tells me in 1 Peter 5:9-11, "Resist him (Satan, the father of this world), steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever."
All I know is that God can handle my questions, my pain, my joys, my hope, my doubt, my failings, in fact, He knows them better than I do myself. I am thankful that He gives me His strength to come to Him. He allows me to talk it all over with Him and if I will listen He has much to say. The hardest part for me is in the waiting for Him to say what it is that He wants me to know. I find that I want, as in most relationships, instant feedback and I prefer that someone agree with me :-/ so in my relationship with the Lord I am often the same way. He knows this, He made me after all; however He is also patient with me and willing to continually bring me around to the point that I am willing to listen, to truly listen. And remind me that ultimately, in heaven all will be perfect!
I cannot resist the enemy without the Lord's strength, nor be steadfast in faith. He is in me and He is consistently providing what I need if I am willing to receive it from Him! Why would I not want to receive it from Him? Sin. Straight up sin. I mean I call it attitude. I call it fear and anxiety. I call it fighting for what is right. I call 'it' many things, but it is sin in my life when I try to exist in my own strength and give in to the sufferings of this life rather than recognize that this suffering is to perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me and most importantly to bring Him glory. His grace is about relationship with me, not rules to follow. The 'rules' are there to protect me and remind me that I am already in relationship with Him not that I must earn that relationship.
I don't know, Lord, I have so much running through my mind that I am not sure that it makes sense to anyone but You. Thank You that I can talk to You about anything, the good, the bad, the ugly and You will listen with compassion and understanding and beyond that You will help. Whether it be to bring conviction and change my thinking or with assurance that You understand and You love me, period. God, You are so good to me. I do want to rejoice in You and I know that You even go so far as to provide that want to. Forgive me for being so changeable. At one point I am fussing and railing and yet if I am bringing it to You then You are faithful, in Your timing, not mine, to bring me around to rejoicing and thankfulness. Help me to continue to bring my questions, my hurts, my hopes etc. to You...may I do my part and chose to trust You for each detail and yet even in this You provide my ability to trust. Thank You, Father. Thank You that You have a purpose behind, in and through all that touches my life and that You are not bothered, confused or stressed by any of it. Forgive me for giving in more often to my feelings than standing in faith upon the Truth of Your Word and Who You Are. Thank You, Jesus for making a way for me to have a relationship with my Father. Help me to learn to be steadfast in faith. God, forgive me for more often falling to the temptation to isolate and quit than to persevere and trust in You. Again, You tell me to wait, to be still...God forgive me for being so frustrated with that answer and for constantly trying to figure out what I am waiting for rather than simply obeying. I mean I know I am to wait for You to rescue me and to direct me but most of the time I forget I know it and begin to compare myself to what I 'used to do' or 'used to be' or what You have others doing instead of being confident that You have me and You are not late. Transform me from the inside out, Lord. May I truly be willing to change my thinking particularly about myself. Forgive me for getting stuck there so many times. May You have Your way in me and may I learn this lesson that You are trying to teach me...
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
A battle for contentment
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9) He (Jesus) said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10) Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
GRACE - God's unmerited favor; receiving what we do not deserve; to be in favor or find favor.
Weakness, check. Infirmities (physical or mental weaknesses), check. Take pleasure in my weaknesses, uh, no check. Take pleasure in reproaches, needs, persecutions, distresses for Christ's sake, uh, again, no check. Hmmm. This is a cause for pondering for me. I seem to be all about saying "Oh, yes, God I am weak, please take my weaknesses and make me strong with Your strength." But when it comes to taking 'pleasure' in my weaknesses etc... I am far from the mark.
I do not know about you but I find myself often angry and frustrated with myself because of my weaknesses and distresses. Now I know it says for Christ's sake and in thinking about it other than times when perhaps I am being deliberately disobedient wouldn't my life and all that it entails be for Christ's sake, as I am Christ's? So I am convicted this morning. I do not take pleasure or enjoyment out of anything that I consider negative, which is where I would have always placed the words and therefore the experiences of infirmities, reproaches, needs, persecutions, and distresses. Honestly, have I really wanted or do I want to be strong with the power of Christ? I would have said a quick and unqualified, 'Of course!' and yet when I look at these verses perhaps not. Well, definitely not, at least not on a regular basis.
How much have I and do I want the power of Christ to rest on me? Have I or do I want to experience His sufficient grace by acknowledging my weaknesses. Wait, I think I acknowledge my weaknesses it is the fact that I don't move on to His sufficiency that is the problem. Most often I still lean on my own understanding and my own strength. I fight to be strong rather than recognize that I am weak. I fight to be healthy rather than to recognize my infirmities. I fight to not be needy but to meet the needs of others. And on and on. I am wrong. I am disobedient. I am missing out on His sufficiency. I have experienced His grace over and over and His sufficiency in my salvation, but often in the throes of daily living it seems I am missing out mainly because of my lack of obedience.
Going along with this is, Philippians 4:11b , "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Content - a state of satisfaction, of peaceful happiness, pleased. Uh, again, no I am not content. I am often too worried about my weaknesses, what others think, my distresses, my needs, etc.
Father God, forgive me for wanting to experience Your sufficient grace, but not being willing, not truly willing to obey You when it comes to being content where You have me, to being okay with my weakness in that they are a platform for Your strength and Your power to be revealed for Your sake and for Your glory. I mean sometimes I am maybe but mostly I am just really wanting to be strong, to not be needy or have distress or experience these other things that thus far I have seen as a negative. Change my heart and my attitude, Lord. May I be thankful and glad that through my weakness You can reveal Yourself. Show me what You want from me and help me to get my eyes off of myself and onto You. I am not pleased, most often I am down on myself and frustrated and I am tired of it, but I need You to change me and help me to do my part. I am most often weary and unthankful. I find that to get through each day is a chore rather than a blessing from You and I am in need of Your strength to be renewed and to be restored. I know that I do not have to rejoice in the actual weaknesses, but rather rejoice in You and the fact that You will work through them; however I do need to be thankful that I am weak. I am struggling, here as I have said, Father. I am not thankful to be weak I am still fighting and trying to figure out what You want from me and You continually say 'Be still and know that I am God' and 'wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord'. I am struggling with both of these. Forgive me and help me to submit. I am struggling with thankfulness and contentment and yet I do not know what else to do other than to come to You and be honest about it. You know it and I trust that You are at work and You want me to let go of this striving. I get it, intellectually, but emotionally and practically I find myself right back in this same battle. Please God, have Your way. Please God, soften my heart. Please God, allow me to hear Your voice and obey and let all the rest go. I pray that You can You these ramblings for Your glory and to benefit someone else. Protect them from anything that I could say or do that would be confusing and draw them to Yourself.
9) He (Jesus) said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10) Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
GRACE - God's unmerited favor; receiving what we do not deserve; to be in favor or find favor.
Weakness, check. Infirmities (physical or mental weaknesses), check. Take pleasure in my weaknesses, uh, no check. Take pleasure in reproaches, needs, persecutions, distresses for Christ's sake, uh, again, no check. Hmmm. This is a cause for pondering for me. I seem to be all about saying "Oh, yes, God I am weak, please take my weaknesses and make me strong with Your strength." But when it comes to taking 'pleasure' in my weaknesses etc... I am far from the mark.
I do not know about you but I find myself often angry and frustrated with myself because of my weaknesses and distresses. Now I know it says for Christ's sake and in thinking about it other than times when perhaps I am being deliberately disobedient wouldn't my life and all that it entails be for Christ's sake, as I am Christ's? So I am convicted this morning. I do not take pleasure or enjoyment out of anything that I consider negative, which is where I would have always placed the words and therefore the experiences of infirmities, reproaches, needs, persecutions, and distresses. Honestly, have I really wanted or do I want to be strong with the power of Christ? I would have said a quick and unqualified, 'Of course!' and yet when I look at these verses perhaps not. Well, definitely not, at least not on a regular basis.
How much have I and do I want the power of Christ to rest on me? Have I or do I want to experience His sufficient grace by acknowledging my weaknesses. Wait, I think I acknowledge my weaknesses it is the fact that I don't move on to His sufficiency that is the problem. Most often I still lean on my own understanding and my own strength. I fight to be strong rather than recognize that I am weak. I fight to be healthy rather than to recognize my infirmities. I fight to not be needy but to meet the needs of others. And on and on. I am wrong. I am disobedient. I am missing out on His sufficiency. I have experienced His grace over and over and His sufficiency in my salvation, but often in the throes of daily living it seems I am missing out mainly because of my lack of obedience.
Going along with this is, Philippians 4:11b , "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Content - a state of satisfaction, of peaceful happiness, pleased. Uh, again, no I am not content. I am often too worried about my weaknesses, what others think, my distresses, my needs, etc.
Father God, forgive me for wanting to experience Your sufficient grace, but not being willing, not truly willing to obey You when it comes to being content where You have me, to being okay with my weakness in that they are a platform for Your strength and Your power to be revealed for Your sake and for Your glory. I mean sometimes I am maybe but mostly I am just really wanting to be strong, to not be needy or have distress or experience these other things that thus far I have seen as a negative. Change my heart and my attitude, Lord. May I be thankful and glad that through my weakness You can reveal Yourself. Show me what You want from me and help me to get my eyes off of myself and onto You. I am not pleased, most often I am down on myself and frustrated and I am tired of it, but I need You to change me and help me to do my part. I am most often weary and unthankful. I find that to get through each day is a chore rather than a blessing from You and I am in need of Your strength to be renewed and to be restored. I know that I do not have to rejoice in the actual weaknesses, but rather rejoice in You and the fact that You will work through them; however I do need to be thankful that I am weak. I am struggling, here as I have said, Father. I am not thankful to be weak I am still fighting and trying to figure out what You want from me and You continually say 'Be still and know that I am God' and 'wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord'. I am struggling with both of these. Forgive me and help me to submit. I am struggling with thankfulness and contentment and yet I do not know what else to do other than to come to You and be honest about it. You know it and I trust that You are at work and You want me to let go of this striving. I get it, intellectually, but emotionally and practically I find myself right back in this same battle. Please God, have Your way. Please God, soften my heart. Please God, allow me to hear Your voice and obey and let all the rest go. I pray that You can You these ramblings for Your glory and to benefit someone else. Protect them from anything that I could say or do that would be confusing and draw them to Yourself.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Abundance of peace
In this Journey His Way, I am being required to "Be still and know that He is God, that He will be exalted, Psalm 46:10." I am being required to apply Lamentations 3:26, "It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Throughout this journey, in particular since August 2013, I have learned just how poorly I am at waiting and specifically waiting quietly. ;-/ As of yet I have not learned what I need to because this is what my Father is still requiring of me.
In looking back at a verse that Mark and I have held dear for our entire 23 years of marriage, Psalm 37:4, I have realized the need to look once again at this verse and the passage in which it is contained.
Psalm 37:3-7a, 11
3) Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on HIs faithfulness.
4) Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5) Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
6) He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
7) Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him...
11) But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
So I have read this passage many times as I am sure you have and often I focus on verse 4 because that is what I want, the desires of my heart. I mean I am just being honest. I would attempt to or strive to delight in the Lord but my main goal was to get what I want. How immature and man, was I missing out on a lot the Lord has for me.
Look at what is required of me besides just delighting in the Lord (who provides even the ability for me to be able to delight in Him, by the way). Trust - to have confidence in. First and foremost I must trust or have confidence in the LORD, that He is Who He says He is, that He is good, that He is faithful, that He is forgiving, that He extends grace to me, mercy too and on and on. Then out of that trust comes a willingness, a want to, do good. Not just do anything that comes along but to do good. And to me to do good means that I am doing what God has called me to do which is often not what I would expect.
In my case right now (and all the time really), that is to wait patiently and quietly for God to do what He wants. Oh this is so hard for me, because my whole life has been built upon doing not on being. I have talked about being often enough, if you know me at all, but I have yet to learn how to really be...as in be still and know that He is God and be quiet while He works. I mean I am a good helper, He has made me that way!!! But the fact is He does not want or need my help, He wants me to be obedient, period and sometimes that means He allows me to help, but only at His lead is it truly good. So hard, I mean I am obedient at times and then all of the sudden I find myself trying to help in my own strength, you know how it is...trying to give someone I love advice over what they should do because after all I can see it clearly - bosh!!!! I can't even see clearly what I am supposed to do much less what someone else is to do! It often seems I would just rather 'help' them than do what I am supposed to.
Verse 3b says "dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness". That sounds lovely doesn't it? Why do I spend so much time fighting Him then? Because I want my own way; however when I deliberately chose to trust in Him and do good, recognize (dwell) in His presence and feed on who He is then each of these actions become easier to choose and I receive the desires of my heart - which through this process have become the desires He would have for my heart! I do not know about you but I am WAY thankful that this process is necessary because too often I really do not 'want' the desires of my heart - my heart is sinful and what I want is often not best! Thank God that He protects me from myself in His Grace. Also the desires of our heart are not really things but more of Him in our lives!
More... verse 5 says "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Commitment takes ongoing action as does trust, again hanging out with Him, in His Word, gives us the ability to do our part. He always does His! He shall bring it to pass - a life of trust, commitment, fulfilled desires, the ability to feed on His faithfulness, knowing that He will handle our enemy and allow us to shine for Him. We are limited in this because we live in a fallen, sinful world, but we can know it in part and more than we realize.
Here we go... "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him." In his commentary on Psalm 37, Warren Wiersbe says, "The verb rest, means 'be silent, be still.' It describes calm surrender to the Lord (Psalm 62:5, My soul wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.) Unless we learn to wait silently before God, we will never experience His peace." I SO WANT THIS PEACE!!! I find that I have it momentarily, but I am much better at 'helping and talking' than I am at waiting and resting! I am growing and for that I am thankful, but the word patience is also a pretty big issue =} I am very impatient. I just am, no excuse, but a great opportunity for God to work!
Lastly, look at verse 11, "But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace." Wiersbe also says "'Meekness' does not mean 'weakness.' It means force under the control of faith." Defined meek means: poor, humble, afflicted, lowly. I think it means being aware that I am and have nothing without Christ, that I am a sinner that is saved by grace and I need to remember this when I want to fight for myself instead of wait for the Lord to fight for me and give me the abundance of peace that I so want. At least I say that I so want it, but in all honesty I must want to fight my own battles more and therefore abundant peace is often missing from the dailyness of my life!
Well, LORD, as my LORD AND MASTER, MY SAVIOR, I need You to teach me to trust You, really, and what to do good really looks like, how to dwell in You and feed on Your faithfulness. I want to find delight in You and have my desires be Your very own. Help me to continually commit my ways to You and again trust You. To know that You are at work for my good and that You will defend me, cause me to be Your light and exhibit Your righteousness. Father God, may I truly learn to rest in You more often than I rely on myself. Remind me to wait and in so doing help me to be obedient to wait patiently. "Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips," Psalm 141:3. Especially in my home, Lord. May I stop being so arrogant to think that I know what is best for others and may I learn to look to You for myself and be obedient. Forgive me for being self-righteous and full of pride, for being impatient and trying to control the timing of events myself instead of waiting for You to do Your work. Thank You Holy Spirit for how evident You are. May I not grieve You or quench You. Have Your way in me and help me to be meek and to delight myself in Your abundant peace.
In looking back at a verse that Mark and I have held dear for our entire 23 years of marriage, Psalm 37:4, I have realized the need to look once again at this verse and the passage in which it is contained.
Psalm 37:3-7a, 11
3) Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on HIs faithfulness.
4) Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5) Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
6) He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
7) Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him...
11) But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
So I have read this passage many times as I am sure you have and often I focus on verse 4 because that is what I want, the desires of my heart. I mean I am just being honest. I would attempt to or strive to delight in the Lord but my main goal was to get what I want. How immature and man, was I missing out on a lot the Lord has for me.
Look at what is required of me besides just delighting in the Lord (who provides even the ability for me to be able to delight in Him, by the way). Trust - to have confidence in. First and foremost I must trust or have confidence in the LORD, that He is Who He says He is, that He is good, that He is faithful, that He is forgiving, that He extends grace to me, mercy too and on and on. Then out of that trust comes a willingness, a want to, do good. Not just do anything that comes along but to do good. And to me to do good means that I am doing what God has called me to do which is often not what I would expect.
In my case right now (and all the time really), that is to wait patiently and quietly for God to do what He wants. Oh this is so hard for me, because my whole life has been built upon doing not on being. I have talked about being often enough, if you know me at all, but I have yet to learn how to really be...as in be still and know that He is God and be quiet while He works. I mean I am a good helper, He has made me that way!!! But the fact is He does not want or need my help, He wants me to be obedient, period and sometimes that means He allows me to help, but only at His lead is it truly good. So hard, I mean I am obedient at times and then all of the sudden I find myself trying to help in my own strength, you know how it is...trying to give someone I love advice over what they should do because after all I can see it clearly - bosh!!!! I can't even see clearly what I am supposed to do much less what someone else is to do! It often seems I would just rather 'help' them than do what I am supposed to.
Verse 3b says "dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness". That sounds lovely doesn't it? Why do I spend so much time fighting Him then? Because I want my own way; however when I deliberately chose to trust in Him and do good, recognize (dwell) in His presence and feed on who He is then each of these actions become easier to choose and I receive the desires of my heart - which through this process have become the desires He would have for my heart! I do not know about you but I am WAY thankful that this process is necessary because too often I really do not 'want' the desires of my heart - my heart is sinful and what I want is often not best! Thank God that He protects me from myself in His Grace. Also the desires of our heart are not really things but more of Him in our lives!
More... verse 5 says "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Commitment takes ongoing action as does trust, again hanging out with Him, in His Word, gives us the ability to do our part. He always does His! He shall bring it to pass - a life of trust, commitment, fulfilled desires, the ability to feed on His faithfulness, knowing that He will handle our enemy and allow us to shine for Him. We are limited in this because we live in a fallen, sinful world, but we can know it in part and more than we realize.
Here we go... "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him." In his commentary on Psalm 37, Warren Wiersbe says, "The verb rest, means 'be silent, be still.' It describes calm surrender to the Lord (Psalm 62:5, My soul wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.) Unless we learn to wait silently before God, we will never experience His peace." I SO WANT THIS PEACE!!! I find that I have it momentarily, but I am much better at 'helping and talking' than I am at waiting and resting! I am growing and for that I am thankful, but the word patience is also a pretty big issue =} I am very impatient. I just am, no excuse, but a great opportunity for God to work!
Lastly, look at verse 11, "But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace." Wiersbe also says "'Meekness' does not mean 'weakness.' It means force under the control of faith." Defined meek means: poor, humble, afflicted, lowly. I think it means being aware that I am and have nothing without Christ, that I am a sinner that is saved by grace and I need to remember this when I want to fight for myself instead of wait for the Lord to fight for me and give me the abundance of peace that I so want. At least I say that I so want it, but in all honesty I must want to fight my own battles more and therefore abundant peace is often missing from the dailyness of my life!
Well, LORD, as my LORD AND MASTER, MY SAVIOR, I need You to teach me to trust You, really, and what to do good really looks like, how to dwell in You and feed on Your faithfulness. I want to find delight in You and have my desires be Your very own. Help me to continually commit my ways to You and again trust You. To know that You are at work for my good and that You will defend me, cause me to be Your light and exhibit Your righteousness. Father God, may I truly learn to rest in You more often than I rely on myself. Remind me to wait and in so doing help me to be obedient to wait patiently. "Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips," Psalm 141:3. Especially in my home, Lord. May I stop being so arrogant to think that I know what is best for others and may I learn to look to You for myself and be obedient. Forgive me for being self-righteous and full of pride, for being impatient and trying to control the timing of events myself instead of waiting for You to do Your work. Thank You Holy Spirit for how evident You are. May I not grieve You or quench You. Have Your way in me and help me to be meek and to delight myself in Your abundant peace.
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