The finishing of Psalm 139 :D

Let's consider something for a moment.  So far in this Psalm we have discovered that God not only knows all about me currently but He created me and He knows my future.  He even knows what I am going to say and when I am going to say it -- which is a BIG DEAL because over half of the time I have no idea until my mouth opens!!! LOL!!!

We found out that He not only knows all about me but He understands me!!!  HUGE!  We once again discovered the truth that there is NO HIDING FROM OUR LORD!!!  NONE!!!  What relief and yet what conviction this truth brings.  Then after finding out all of that we learn that He protects us completely and He knew us before we could even be known, plus He handcrafted us with skill and knows the exact number of our days!  He is constantly taking care of us.

Then to move on to the last part of the Psalm...I must admit that I often have skipped verses19-22 just not understanding why they are there :-/  I have been attempting to understand (please remember I am not a Biblical scholar and these thoughts are mine, simply mine...I am open to learn and grow.  I find myself to be wrong and I do not want to mislead anyone...please seek God and read His Word on your own).

Psalm 139:19-24 
Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!  Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.  
For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?  And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxieties; 
And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me int the way everlasting.  

It has always seems out of the blue to me as I am reading along in this Psalm and it just really resonates with me and then boom...God would You kill the wicked people and get them away from me as I hate them completely!  They are my enemies!  Whoa!  I haven't gone into the background of David as the writer of the Psalm this time, but you can check it out for yourself in 1 Samuel 17-31 and beyond ;D  Remember all that we said has been going on in this Psalm???

God's sovereignty in our lives, His very activity in creating us, providing for us and protecting us.  The very fact that nothing we do or say is every hidden from Him, nor are we ourselves.  The very fact that we are aware of the 'person' we are "the sinner" that we are means we can recognize the need in others for Jesus to be their LORD (Master, Savior) just as He is for us!  We may 'hate the wicked things' that someone does, the very fact that they are against our Father but never them!

We must allow the things that God has done and does for us to make us grateful and in turn give us the desire to share with those who do not know!

In reading Matthew Henry's commentary and thinking about why these verses seem to be thrown in this Psalm I know think it is so cool!!!  I mean here is David, called a man after God's own heart, fleeing for his very life and he is singing a song testifying that His God is His LORD and recognizing all He has done for Him thus reminding David that though wicked, evil men are after him to kill him, he is in God's hand and but for the grace of God Himself he could be counted as one of those wicked, evil men!!

Thus, the confession (desire) of his heart was declared:  Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139:23-24.

WOW!!!!  Are God and His Word not amazing???  He is so good to reveal Himself to us in His Word!!!

Father God, I know that I have a whole lot to learn and even more transformation needs to be done to make me more like You, but I am so grateful You have given me the opportunity to be in Your Word and attempt to share what You are showing me.  God may You clear up any misconceptions in me or correct me in any area where I am saying the wrong thing...I do not want to mislead any one!  I trust You, LORD, to do what You will.  Thank You for creating me, for protecting me, and for never ever leaving me or allowing me to leave You and hide.  Thank You for giving me Your Holy Spirit to live inside of me...May He have His way in me! Forgive me for quenching or grieving You, Holy Spirit.  Forgive me for thinking highly of myself when the fact is that I am a sinner saved by Your grace alone!  Thank You for rescuing me from myself!  I, too, ask that You, LORD, would search me...You already know me inside and out, but search me for my benefit that I may be lead in Your way and in Your way alone.  May I recognize Your Presence in the daily-ness of my life and may I do my part to praise You and thank You for all You have done, are doing and will do!  May I trust You that You are protecting me and guiding me and all those that I love; thank You for holding me with Your right hand and that Your grip is strong and fast!  I praise You God because You alone are worthy to be praised!!!

Psalm 139:13-16; 17-18

Psalm 139:13-16
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. 
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that      
     my soul knows very well.  
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret And skillfully wrought in the 
     lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, The days     
     fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.  

You know I have no trouble believing that God is very skillful, that He is amazing, that He is faithful, that He has a plan and a purpose for me; however I must admit to having significant trouble with words and phrases such as 'fearfully and wonderfully made," and "marvelous."  Unlike the psalmist I struggle here.  There is no question in my mind that God is all those things it is in reference to who I am that is so difficult.  I am tired of it being difficult, but trust me when I say simply stating that I am going to believe "it" whatever it is about me that I need to believe does not make it happen.  I am working on exchanging the lies for truth and trusting that what God says about me is also true...just saying it is a long process and a hard part of my journey.

So I will not focus on that confession but rather on the fact that God, Himself is praiseworthy.  Praiseworthy for so many reasons but let's just focus on these verses ;)  So He is worthy of praise because He is the Creator!  He had a plan for each of us from before we were born and He made it and is making it happen.  We had no part in the process.  Notice He even 'covered me in my mother's womb'  - He protected me and watched out for me even then.  No doubt the process of the creation of a human life is a wonderful process as well as a marvelous one.  There is nothing like a new baby!

No where during this process was I hidden or unseen by my LORD, my Master.  He used His skill when He made me.  All of my days are written and fashioned for me even before my 'days' began!!! Amazing, isn't He?

So in trying to see myself and help you see yourself through His eyes recognizing that He is praiseworthy is a good beginning.  Trusting (choosing to trust) that what He says is true is also a good place to start.

Look, you and I have and always will be seen by God as "fearfully wonderful" and one of His marvelous works.  Marvelous??? (causing great wonder; extraordinary)  Wait a minute.  His work, of which I am one as are you, is considered extraordinary, a cause of great wonder!  Here is the kicker...my soul does not know that very well, but I want to!  He used the same skills that He used to paint a sunset or decorate a fall tree to make me and you!  He knew me before I was born, before I was even formed and He knows me now!  He loves me the same!!! Nothing has changed...He does not change!  He is who He says He is!  

Check out verses 17-18:  How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!  How great is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake I am still with You.  


From Matthew Henry's Commentary on Psalm 139, "Providence has had a vast reach in its dispensations concerning us, and has brought things about for our good quite beyond our contrivance and foresight. They are dear to us; we must think of them with a great deal of reverence, and yet with pleasure and thankfulness. Our thoughts concerning God must be delightful to us, above any other thoughts. (bold, mine;)  2. Numerous to admiration: How great is the sum of them! We cannot conceive how many God's kind counsels have been concerning us, how many good turns he has done us, and what variety of mercies we have received from him. If we would count them, the heads of them, much more the particulars of them, they are more in number than the sand, and yet every one great and very considerable." 

What God thinks should be precious (valuable) to me!  His thoughts of me are good!  I see now that I need to focus on God and recognize that He states/He thinks I am "marvelous," that I have been "skillfully" made, as have you my friend.  I need to praise Him and thank Him that He knows exactly how many days I have here on this earth and He is with me all the time!!!  I have not "ruined" myself nor disappointed Him.  I am still His child and as such valuable to Him!  Do you see this?  Do you know how valuable you are to Him???

Father God, I spend so much time thinking about myself and how I wish I could do this or that.  Or that I could be more gentle, more kind etc... or being disappointed with myself and who I am.  Forgive me, LORD.  May I allow Your truth to penetrate my heart and mind.  Please Father, transform me from the inside out.  May I focus on You and Your Word.  May I spend my time praising You rather than in any other way.  Show me how to make these principles my first response and not the second, fifth or even last.  Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and that Your faithfulness is great.  Thank You for Your forgiveness and for Your plan and purpose.  I praise You that You are not like me, with conditions and expectations that are unmeetable but You are unconditional in Your love and You provide the strength I need to do anything that You require of me. Help me to let the rest go!!!  God, have Your way in me!

Psalm 139:7-12

Psalm 139:7-12.  
Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 
Even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.  
If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall fall on me, Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.  

Huge questions with even bigger answers!  Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Or where can I flee from Your presence?  Heaven?  No.  Hell?  No.  Fly into the morning?  No.  Lost at sea?  No.  In the dark of night?  No.  Do we grasp this?

I mean maybe our questions are a little different.  LORD, can I hide from You in food?  Can I flee from Your presence in the busyness of life?  Can I hide in my emotions/health/pain?  What about in social media, shopping, work or just hanging out?  What about in church, LORD, can I hide there?  Oh, I know I can hide behind a smile and a willingness to serve, right, LORD?  Maybe I can even hide in my home or in my car?  I mean, surely Lord, there is some place for me to hide, right?

Absolutely and unequivocally we receive a resounding, "NO!"  There is no place so bad, so busy, so righteous, so anything that can remove us from God's very Presence!  Romans 8:35; 38-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?;  For I am persuaded that neither death no life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  

I skipped it but did you know what verse 37 of Romans 8 says?  "YET IN ALL THESE THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVED US!"  The 'yet in all these things' refers to verse 36 which actually is saying even if we are killed for our faith in Jesus - we are more than conquerors and there is nothing that can cause us to be separated from our LORD!

For me I need to think on these things.  I mean more often than not I am living my life as if it is my own and not even paying attention to the fact that God's very presence is with me and how blessed I am that He promises that nothing can separate us...not even my apathy, anger or anxiety, etc.... I mean consciously I know that I never want to be separated from God again and I take it for granted that I cannot be when I could be living in a much more abundant place in life, with more joy, peace and gratefulness; however I live a good portion of my day just busy or distracted by things that are not what He has for me.  

Another side of this is that He loves me, period.  I cannot add to or subtract from that love, I simply cannot - His very Person makes it impossible!  I am so grateful!  Back to Psalm 139:7-12, where can I go to flee from my LORD's presence?  Absolutely no where and if I am wanting to flee then perhaps I had better chose to stop and allow Him to deal with me rather than foolishly trying to fill my days or ignore His presence.  To be dealt with by my Heavenly Father is a hard but at the same time a wonderful place.  No one loves me more.  No one wants more good for me and no one else can understand me completely and meet me right where I am!

I guess all this is to say, what are we using to try to hide from God - 'good things' or 'bad things'?  Why would we want to hide?  If we are not deliberately choosing to seek God and recognize His presence in our lives then we are hiding/disobeying Him.  It is one or the other.  We must continually choose!  The coolest part is that He draws us and He even gives us the strength and desire to want to be with Him.  This desire grows as we seek Him in His Word, as we pray and as we serve others because of Him.

LORD, please give me a hunger to want to recognize Your presence in my life and obey.  May You have Your way in me and may I truly be grateful that I cannot find myself anywhere in this life or beyond without Your very Presence!  God, You are so good to me!  I have certainly tested You on this and You have proven Yourself faithful over and over and over again.  I thank You for Your character, that You are trustworthy, sovereign, strong yet gentle and that You are full of grace, mercy and forgiveness.  May I listen and obey...reveal to me when I am trying to hide or feel the need to and bring me back to where You want me to be.  

Psalm 139:1-6

Psalm 139:1-6
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.  
For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. 
You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.  

I feel compelled to camp out in Psalm 139 for a while.  Please pray for me as I desire obey the Lord, He knows what He is requiring of me.

Verse 1 begins with an acknowledgment of the LORD as Master/boss.  Interesting, I think, I mean I struggle greatly with 'thinking' I am taking care of myself, that I am in charge.  Do you?

Essentially, I KNOW this is not true but I forget to live it in the daily-ness of life.  This passage is so comforting and yet so convicting to me and I am so grateful that He allows for both.

I am comforted to know that my LORD has searched me and knows me, fully and completely, better even than I know myself and yet oh so convicted because what I do know of myself is that I am often full of pride, selfishness, criticism and judgment; however the best part is that because of Jesus, my LORD, choses to not see me that way anymore!  2 Corinthians 5:21 "For God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin for us (me) that we (I) might become the righteousness of God in Jesus."  Do we realize that this makes us Ephesians 1:6, "Accepted in the Beloved" (JESUS)!  So while he has searched me and known me He loves me as He sees me, through Jesus, not as I see myself.

I can be"confident of this very thing, that He (God) who has begun a good work in you (me) in you (me) will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  I am so thankful!

I need to change my focus, always my focus needs to be Christ and Christ alone.  My God knows when I sit, when I rise, what I think, when I lie down and even what I will say before I say it and yet He loves me anyway!  What a gift!!!

Did you notice that His knowing goes way beyond knowing though to doing?  How cool is that?  He has "hedged me behind and before" AND "laid His hand upon me"!  Think about that...

He surrounds me and lays His hand upon me to protect me, to guide me and to be my LORD!  He knows the best for me and He does not just stand back and watch He is intimately involved in my life, so much so that He lives inside me and guards all around me!!  He is so good!!!

I agree with the Psalmist, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it."  But I so want to try, don't you?  When I focus on all that He is, all that He knows and all that He does life is so much better!

Which brings me to a recommendation...actually a couple, the first would be if you do not know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, maybe it is time...  Secondly, I have been listening to The Afters album, Life is Beautiful, you might consider checking it out ;)))

Father God, thank You for being all that You are!!!  Thank You Jesus, for Your willingness to give up so much for me! Thank You that even though You know all there is to know about me You love me anyway!  You provide Your grace, mercy and forgiveness without measure!  Thank You that You continually, faithfully draw me back to You when I foolishly try to take charge and lose focus.  May You receive the glory from these words shared and from my life despite me and my failings.  May others see You in me and realize that any good thing comes from You!  (James 1:17)  Help me to look to You, have joy and recognize that "Life is Beautiful" because You are at work!

Words

Words…I have a love/hate relationship with them.   Not even just words in and of themselves but the delivery of them or lack of.  My tone in the saying of the words is so often sarcastic that it comes out naturally instead of awkwardly.  My point? 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 

Proverbs 12:18

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. 

James 1:19

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

In reading an entry from the Jesus Calling Devotion from August 3^rd I was ‘hit’ with these verses at its conclusion.   I have been thinking on them off and on today with a few thoughts about some other words running around in my head as well.  I thought I would share. 

Change - as a verb it means – become or make different; substitute or replace something; modify, vary, transform, adjustment  

Caring – showing concern; thoughtful, helpful, loving, considerate, compassionate, affectionate, attentive

Enough.  As I am thinking of words in general and how they can wound us or how the lack of words can often be just as painful I wonder how can I change.  Now I do not want reformation, but transformation that can only come from Christ and yet do I?  Really?  It seems to me I am often willing to be reckless with my words rather than wise.  Being quick to listen – now you might as well be speaking a foreign language.  In my own strength I am REALLY GOOD at offering opinions and ‘helping’ without even giving someone a change to finish their thought.  I will not even mention how easy it is for me to get angry – do I always act on it – no, but I often let it ooze out slowly rather than taking it to the Lord and allowing Him to help me with their ultimate presenting of themselves – words, that is ;)  as they do come out eventually!!!

Do I attempt to keep unwholesome things from coming out of my mouth?  Well, I guess that depends on your definition of unwholesome.  Am I speaking words that are beneficial to those who hear them?  Again it depends on the conversation and more importantly on my surrender to the Holy Spirit’s lead in my life.  I find that I am much better at sharing beneficial words with a ginormous ‘BUT’ tacked on instead of leaving it at the beneficial.  Now I am not suggesting that there is not a time and a place for correction, for standing firm etc.; however I am stating that I NEED TO BE MORE CONCERNED with the change of my own heart and attitude and be determined to say only the part that is beneficial.  It can all be beneficial THE WORD OF GOD tells us it can…I do not have to leave room for my sarcasm, my opinion, or my judgment.  In fact as I well know this can become a habit that is hard to break and I for one do not want to be judged as harshly as I often find myself judging (even if only in my head – doesn’t that mean that this is my heart?) 

Am I willing to change? 

Are you?

Am I willing to have a tongue that is wise and that brings healing?

Are you?

Am I willing to be quick to listen?

Are you?

Am I willing to be slow to speak?

Are you?

Am I willing to build others up according to their needs not my own?

Are you?

Am I willing to allow my words to be a benefit to those who hear me?

Are you?

Am I willing to put others ahead of myself and love them as Christ calls me too?

Are you?

Am I willing to start at home instead of with others?

Are you?

What does God want?

I want to be willing…sometimes I have to start there.  Father God, please give me the willingness to want to be all You have for me.  Give me a hunger for You, because sometimes God I am just hungry for what I want, for what I think is going to meet my needs and the people that I ‘talk’ to often end up with the anger, the criticism and the sarcasm simply because I am unwilling to come to You before I open my mouth.  You promise that You will give me the strength to do those things that You call me too, Jesus, thank You for that and so much more.  Thank You for never giving up on me.  Help me to extend the same willingness to be kind and beneficial with my words toward husband, my children and myself that I am often willing to give to complete strangers.  Forgive me, Lord, for beating myself up and for often allowing my mouth to have its own way.  Please work in my heart, my mind and in my spirit, at the very root of me and make me more like You.  Help each one of us, Lord to realize how much our words matter!  May we share life, period.