A statement 'hit' me this morning in "Jesus Calling" for October 22, "Start talking with Me about whatever is on your mind. Rejoice in the fact that I understand you perfectly, and I know exactly what you are experiencing."
Have you experienced this? I have and when I do it is glorious! Just talking with God and having the assurance that He knows me and He gets me. I wish I had this experience all of the time, I do not. In fact, more often than not I am wondering if He really gets me then why am I experiencing what I am experiencing? But, when I go to Him and ask Him those questions ultimately He gets through to me. Sometimes it takes longer than other times, it all depends upon my willingness to listen. Usually I would rather talk or only want to hear what I want to hear. Do you ever have this experience?
Recently in listening to a few Andy Stanley sermons from his "Twisted" series, I learned that though we often ask why, the answer is found in the general knowledge that the world is broken by sin and thus we are decaying from the moment we are born so difficulties come, disease is a part of this world, etc. In fact the why is not often answered specifically for us but often generally as being just part of this corrupt and evil world that we live in where the enemy is in charge but will ultimately lose. He also pointed out that any answers we receive as to why are often emotionally unsatisfying - I find this to often be true. My focus needs to be on Christ not on the whys.
The fact is this earth is not my home. His Word tells me in 1 Peter 5:9-11, "Resist him (Satan, the father of this world), steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever."
All I know is that God can handle my questions, my pain, my joys, my hope, my doubt, my failings, in fact, He knows them better than I do myself. I am thankful that He gives me His strength to come to Him. He allows me to talk it all over with Him and if I will listen He has much to say. The hardest part for me is in the waiting for Him to say what it is that He wants me to know. I find that I want, as in most relationships, instant feedback and I prefer that someone agree with me :-/ so in my relationship with the Lord I am often the same way. He knows this, He made me after all; however He is also patient with me and willing to continually bring me around to the point that I am willing to listen, to truly listen. And remind me that ultimately, in heaven all will be perfect!
I cannot resist the enemy without the Lord's strength, nor be steadfast in faith. He is in me and He is consistently providing what I need if I am willing to receive it from Him! Why would I not want to receive it from Him? Sin. Straight up sin. I mean I call it attitude. I call it fear and anxiety. I call it fighting for what is right. I call 'it' many things, but it is sin in my life when I try to exist in my own strength and give in to the sufferings of this life rather than recognize that this suffering is to perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me and most importantly to bring Him glory. His grace is about relationship with me, not rules to follow. The 'rules' are there to protect me and remind me that I am already in relationship with Him not that I must earn that relationship.
I don't know, Lord, I have so much running through my mind that I am not sure that it makes sense to anyone but You. Thank You that I can talk to You about anything, the good, the bad, the ugly and You will listen with compassion and understanding and beyond that You will help. Whether it be to bring conviction and change my thinking or with assurance that You understand and You love me, period. God, You are so good to me. I do want to rejoice in You and I know that You even go so far as to provide that want to. Forgive me for being so changeable. At one point I am fussing and railing and yet if I am bringing it to You then You are faithful, in Your timing, not mine, to bring me around to rejoicing and thankfulness. Help me to continue to bring my questions, my hurts, my hopes etc. to You...may I do my part and chose to trust You for each detail and yet even in this You provide my ability to trust. Thank You, Father. Thank You that You have a purpose behind, in and through all that touches my life and that You are not bothered, confused or stressed by any of it. Forgive me for giving in more often to my feelings than standing in faith upon the Truth of Your Word and Who You Are. Thank You, Jesus for making a way for me to have a relationship with my Father. Help me to learn to be steadfast in faith. God, forgive me for more often falling to the temptation to isolate and quit than to persevere and trust in You. Again, You tell me to wait, to be still...God forgive me for being so frustrated with that answer and for constantly trying to figure out what I am waiting for rather than simply obeying. I mean I know I am to wait for You to rescue me and to direct me but most of the time I forget I know it and begin to compare myself to what I 'used to do' or 'used to be' or what You have others doing instead of being confident that You have me and You are not late. Transform me from the inside out, Lord. May I truly be willing to change my thinking particularly about myself. Forgive me for getting stuck there so many times. May You have Your way in me and may I learn this lesson that You are trying to teach me...
No comments:
Post a Comment