Well, it has been a few days and honestly I do not know where to begin. Can I just say, WOW! I have had some amazing times in the last few days and some not so amazing times. All of which have pointed out how very much God is interested in the day to day, moment by moment of our lives.
My default is to fall back to words, thoughts, ideas...fellowship, comfort zones, issues, hurts, hope, plans, strength, weakness, quitting, trying, seeking, finding, trusting, resting, falling flat, repenting, worship, sacrifice, joy, peace, agony, desperation, life, death, JESUS, family, friends, observations, intuitions, discernment, defeat, victory, stress, release, identity, caring, helping, sharing, lonely, alone, overwhelmed, understood... and on and on I could go.
So much to say, but not really any words today. Shocking, I know (;
Psalm 105:4 "Look to the LORD and His strength; seek His face always." You ever have trouble looking? Recognizing His strength? Oh and what about 'always' struggling to seek His face? So it is confession time, after all that is why I blog, I think. I so struggle to keep my eyes on His face and off of myself and off of the faces of those that I love or those that I struggle with. Sometimes I just stubbornly sit in the unwillingness to look or to seek, in other words, sin. Sometimes I allow myself to get busy and distracted while being very aware that I am avoiding what I need, which is focused, deliberate time to confess and deal. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with all the different things that are coming at me and rather than turn directly to the Lord with them I enter into fear, worry, frustration, defeat, and anger. This is a cycle that I despise. I am getting better at not staying there so long each time but the fact that I put myself through it over an over again irritates me which then feeds the cycle - yep, I'm worn out.
I have seen God do some amazing things in the last few days, and also work out some pretty difficult circumstances, as well as continuing to wait because I know He is at work and has a plan. The thing is I so often get in His way. I look forward to heaven where I will be able to look to Him and His strength and seek His face always, but until then I want to get better at it in the here and now. I want to recognize Him, to truly see Him and get over myself and my foolish tendencies to look to my own strength, my own opinions and my own self-interests. The word balance comes to mind.
Father God, I am so grateful for all You are showing me and that You do not give up on me, regardless. I pray for the eyes to see You and the strength to look to You alone. Forgive me for so often getting distracted with needs, issues, wanting to help or just plan old controlling. Forgive me for allowing the people and circumstances of life to determine my attitude and my reactions. Teach me God to rest in You and to keep my eyes open even when the temptation comes to close them or look where I 'want.' God, please continually change my want and give me the wherewithal to focus on You regardless of my feelings. Thank You for Your faithfulness, for Your mercy, and for Your grace. Teach me to truly worship You and I pray that You would change my perception of what worshipping You is. May I learn to see You as the honored guest and worship You with my entire life in the day to day. May I trust You completely and worship You with abandon wherever and what ever is going on. Thank You for Your unfailing love! Thank You for providing rest, help me to absorb it and not fight it so. You know this journey that I am on better than I do. I need Your clarity, Your wisdom, Your discernment and Your strength to submit to You and be transformed. May I follow through on the things that You have shown me and wait for Your result. May I simply obey. May I trust in You alone.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Just Random Thoughts ;)
Well today, I have been pretty intensely focused on thinking about strengths and weaknesses in myself. I am in on a healing journey that at times is taking way longer than perhaps I think it should; however God is being so gracious to me to allow me this season of 'rest.' I am not busy about activities as I once was, going in so many different directions that truly I didn't know which way was up. I am now in a season where my kids are practically grown and I no longer homeschool and I realize that it is a time for significant evaluation and surrender.
I am one of those people who lost herself in her 'roles.' I find that I have been extraordinarily blessed by being a wife and a mom; however I have forgotten what it means, or maybe I never did discover, what it means to be Tammy. Just me, the me God created me to be instead I have spent a lifetime trying to be the 'Tammy' that I thought others wanted me to be. I find that is not enough. I want to be the 'me' that God created me to be. The one that He delights in and sings over Zephaniah 3:17. I want to find delight in knowing that I am a Child of God; His daughter and that He loves me and accepts me just because of who He is. I am finding that delight and it is a journey like no other. God is so good!
One of my favorite verses my entire Christian life has been, Psalm 37:4. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I can say that He has done that for me by giving me my dream of being a stay at home wife and mom! I have attempted to delight myself in Him throughout my life, the difference is today it is more out of love for Him than because it is something I thought I should do! I, long ago committed my life to Him and trusted Him (vs.5); however as I have gotten older I realize I had gotten farther away from actually TRUSTING HIM, by that I me fully trusting Him, in thinking that I was responsible for my husband, my children, to be a pastor's wife, to be a friend, etc. and that I was in control. It was subtle and it was under the guise of serving God etc. when literally it was me trying to earn what cannot be earned! What I have already received as a gift from God Himself! Wow, what a lot of effort for stress, pain, depression when I need to be putting my efforts towards resting in Him (internally), trusting that He really is who He says He is rather than constantly trying to figure out that next 'right' thing I am supposed to do. Finally He has my attention! Thank You, God, for answering this prayer I have prayed for years to learn to delight in You in such an amazing way!
Now the title of this blog today is random thoughts because I just feel like sharing. Nothing specific just life and it will be long!
I am finding that Christ is all He says He is! I have known Him for many years but my focus has been on striving to please Him and others rather than resting in the fact that He is pleased with me because of Jesus. I have spent many wasted years stressing myself out, trying to be all that 'I thought' was acceptable, godly and necessary to be loved, liked and known! Foolishness! I am so thankful that God is opening my eyes! I have so far to go, but I am finally more often than not heading in the right direction. I know that I am in a season of healing, trust me there is much to be healed from because I have spent a lifetime stuffing and surviving rather than facing and dealing. God in His infinite wisdom has caused me 'to hit the wall' so to speak on a variety of occasions but finally this time in 'hitting the wall' I would say I finally gave up the desperate control that I thought I had to have. I mean, if you would have asked me I would have told you that I trusted God and that I wanted Him to be in charge of my life, and it would have been true to a certain point, but what was missing as I mentioned before was ABUNDANT LIFE and REAL JOY based on Him rather than on what I did or didn't do. I believe I am finally at a point in my life that I have become desperate enough to be completely honest and say I do not have it all together! I am struggling intensely and I hurt dreadfully! The good news is that in that desperation, struggle and hurt God has met me in ways I could never have imagined! He is like that, you know? Always more than we can ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)
This season is one that while exciting in its growth is frustrating in its consumption of time. You see, I get in a hurry. I forget on a regular basis that I want God to be in control of all of me and I just take off on my own ;-/ Thankfully He doesn't leave me so I cannot get far :-D Are you not so grateful that He loves us like He does! Wow, I am, more than ever before I am getting it! HE LOVES ME, period. BECAUSE HE DOES! I AM HIS CHILD! Lately I have thought a lot about myself as that little blond haired, blue eyed little girl with the big grin (did I mention buck teeth;) who runs full on with abandon into the arms of my Heavenly Father KNOWING, TRUSTING that He will catch me!!! I love this picture. I am not sure if there is anything I loved more than when my children were little and they would run to me and hold up their arms and I would get to hold them with their little arms snuggled tight around my neck! If we love our children like this, the Word says how much more does our Father in heaven love us - and give us good gifts, Matthew 7:11; 1 John 3:1. Think about this!
So back to the timing of healing. My healing is on God's time table and it is in His way. I can already tell you that I much prefer His healing to all the 'band-aiding' I did for so many years. His grace truly is sufficient, 2 Corinthians 12:9. For me stepping out of 'survival' mode has meant that I am truly allowing His grace to be sufficient in my weakness. His power resting on me is better than all the things I have strived for through the years. Does this make any sense? Knowing Him and the power of His resurrection; there is nothing like it, Philippians 3:12. Oh, follow my blog and you will be guaranteed to see the ups and downs, but the difference this time for me is that I am willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to live a healthy, vibrant, godly life without all the legalism and religiosity.
Again, I have a long way to go, but you see, God is doing the work so the results are up to Him! They always have been, but I haven't been living like it! I have lived a life of striving, pursuing and while I truly was striving and pursuing to know the Lord I got hung up on the knowing and not the being; the doing not the experiencing. I want to walk with Him! I want to share the difference He is making in my life because He can and will do the same for you! He is the our Redeemer!
I have spent so many years in bondage, thinking that the freedom Christ (Galatians 5:1) talks about must just be for someone else because I did not seem to be able to get it! I mean abundant life? What is that? I have a good life but inside of me I just wasn't good. I was fighting, I was in a battle to get what I thought I wanted, to be accepted, loved, valued, etc. and all along I already had this when Jesus revealed to me that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and He came to live in my life! Instead of fully surrendering, though, I surrendered parts at a time and then took back parts because obviously I could do a much better job than God, (sarcasm intended!). All I know is that getting to what appears to be the end of myself (at least in this area, I pray He continues to empty me), deep into a pit that I thought was just how life had to be regardless of all my desires and efforts has forced me to realize what surrender really is. Now, it is still a process (remember, we aren't complete until we get to heaven, Philippians 3:20; however I am tired of making excuses and living in misery internally because of what it might look like if I get help; if I share my desperation!
All the help in the world, all the talking in the world, all the medicines in the world are not THE ANSWER, (they may be part of the journey, part of the process), but our CHOICE IS WHAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!! I can choose to continue living life my way or I can chose to surrender to the One Who Knows Everything! Not much of a choice as far as I can see...CHOOSE HIM! Life, abundant life, joy, peace, hope, forgiveness, love, grace, mercy...as opposed to death, depression, stress, agony, desperation, bitterness, resentment, un-forgiveness, paying the penalty myself! Yep, only one right choice! Get help; whatever you need; but make the choice to surrender to Christ first and follow His lead as you get that help.
Please, if you are living in a pit of despair, stressed and trying to manage life on your own...it does not work! Even if you are already a believer in Christ, saved and sure stop living in bondage; stop trying to fix it on your own. He is the only one who can help. He gives us wonderful people in our lives, resources, doctors etc. but until we choose, until we really deep down, gut level choose transformation and change is only fleeting and it is only a portion of what He really wants to do. Jesus is a gentleman, He does not force Himself on us but He asks, Revelation 3:20. Can you grasp that? He wants to be with you, with me! He wants to live life with us! Trust me, His life is the better choice. If you don't know Him, you really need to! And if you know Him; how about being known by Him and experiencing a more intimate relationship with the One who loves You best and never ever tires of you, never ever leaves you and who actually delights in you!
I want to be who He wants me to be. I want to wait and let Him show me; as hard as that is. I do not want to get busy about 'church,' about 'programs,' about 'stuff' any longer. I want to know Him in the power of His resurrection and walk in His ways and not fulfill the lusts of my flesh! Galatians 5:16
I had better stop and get busy with something else besides words today ;-D
Father God, thank You for who You are! Have Your will and way in us! Get and keep our attention and help us to obey!
I am one of those people who lost herself in her 'roles.' I find that I have been extraordinarily blessed by being a wife and a mom; however I have forgotten what it means, or maybe I never did discover, what it means to be Tammy. Just me, the me God created me to be instead I have spent a lifetime trying to be the 'Tammy' that I thought others wanted me to be. I find that is not enough. I want to be the 'me' that God created me to be. The one that He delights in and sings over Zephaniah 3:17. I want to find delight in knowing that I am a Child of God; His daughter and that He loves me and accepts me just because of who He is. I am finding that delight and it is a journey like no other. God is so good!
One of my favorite verses my entire Christian life has been, Psalm 37:4. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I can say that He has done that for me by giving me my dream of being a stay at home wife and mom! I have attempted to delight myself in Him throughout my life, the difference is today it is more out of love for Him than because it is something I thought I should do! I, long ago committed my life to Him and trusted Him (vs.5); however as I have gotten older I realize I had gotten farther away from actually TRUSTING HIM, by that I me fully trusting Him, in thinking that I was responsible for my husband, my children, to be a pastor's wife, to be a friend, etc. and that I was in control. It was subtle and it was under the guise of serving God etc. when literally it was me trying to earn what cannot be earned! What I have already received as a gift from God Himself! Wow, what a lot of effort for stress, pain, depression when I need to be putting my efforts towards resting in Him (internally), trusting that He really is who He says He is rather than constantly trying to figure out that next 'right' thing I am supposed to do. Finally He has my attention! Thank You, God, for answering this prayer I have prayed for years to learn to delight in You in such an amazing way!
Now the title of this blog today is random thoughts because I just feel like sharing. Nothing specific just life and it will be long!
I am finding that Christ is all He says He is! I have known Him for many years but my focus has been on striving to please Him and others rather than resting in the fact that He is pleased with me because of Jesus. I have spent many wasted years stressing myself out, trying to be all that 'I thought' was acceptable, godly and necessary to be loved, liked and known! Foolishness! I am so thankful that God is opening my eyes! I have so far to go, but I am finally more often than not heading in the right direction. I know that I am in a season of healing, trust me there is much to be healed from because I have spent a lifetime stuffing and surviving rather than facing and dealing. God in His infinite wisdom has caused me 'to hit the wall' so to speak on a variety of occasions but finally this time in 'hitting the wall' I would say I finally gave up the desperate control that I thought I had to have. I mean, if you would have asked me I would have told you that I trusted God and that I wanted Him to be in charge of my life, and it would have been true to a certain point, but what was missing as I mentioned before was ABUNDANT LIFE and REAL JOY based on Him rather than on what I did or didn't do. I believe I am finally at a point in my life that I have become desperate enough to be completely honest and say I do not have it all together! I am struggling intensely and I hurt dreadfully! The good news is that in that desperation, struggle and hurt God has met me in ways I could never have imagined! He is like that, you know? Always more than we can ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)
This season is one that while exciting in its growth is frustrating in its consumption of time. You see, I get in a hurry. I forget on a regular basis that I want God to be in control of all of me and I just take off on my own ;-/ Thankfully He doesn't leave me so I cannot get far :-D Are you not so grateful that He loves us like He does! Wow, I am, more than ever before I am getting it! HE LOVES ME, period. BECAUSE HE DOES! I AM HIS CHILD! Lately I have thought a lot about myself as that little blond haired, blue eyed little girl with the big grin (did I mention buck teeth;) who runs full on with abandon into the arms of my Heavenly Father KNOWING, TRUSTING that He will catch me!!! I love this picture. I am not sure if there is anything I loved more than when my children were little and they would run to me and hold up their arms and I would get to hold them with their little arms snuggled tight around my neck! If we love our children like this, the Word says how much more does our Father in heaven love us - and give us good gifts, Matthew 7:11; 1 John 3:1. Think about this!
So back to the timing of healing. My healing is on God's time table and it is in His way. I can already tell you that I much prefer His healing to all the 'band-aiding' I did for so many years. His grace truly is sufficient, 2 Corinthians 12:9. For me stepping out of 'survival' mode has meant that I am truly allowing His grace to be sufficient in my weakness. His power resting on me is better than all the things I have strived for through the years. Does this make any sense? Knowing Him and the power of His resurrection; there is nothing like it, Philippians 3:12. Oh, follow my blog and you will be guaranteed to see the ups and downs, but the difference this time for me is that I am willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to live a healthy, vibrant, godly life without all the legalism and religiosity.
Again, I have a long way to go, but you see, God is doing the work so the results are up to Him! They always have been, but I haven't been living like it! I have lived a life of striving, pursuing and while I truly was striving and pursuing to know the Lord I got hung up on the knowing and not the being; the doing not the experiencing. I want to walk with Him! I want to share the difference He is making in my life because He can and will do the same for you! He is the our Redeemer!
I have spent so many years in bondage, thinking that the freedom Christ (Galatians 5:1) talks about must just be for someone else because I did not seem to be able to get it! I mean abundant life? What is that? I have a good life but inside of me I just wasn't good. I was fighting, I was in a battle to get what I thought I wanted, to be accepted, loved, valued, etc. and all along I already had this when Jesus revealed to me that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and He came to live in my life! Instead of fully surrendering, though, I surrendered parts at a time and then took back parts because obviously I could do a much better job than God, (sarcasm intended!). All I know is that getting to what appears to be the end of myself (at least in this area, I pray He continues to empty me), deep into a pit that I thought was just how life had to be regardless of all my desires and efforts has forced me to realize what surrender really is. Now, it is still a process (remember, we aren't complete until we get to heaven, Philippians 3:20; however I am tired of making excuses and living in misery internally because of what it might look like if I get help; if I share my desperation!
All the help in the world, all the talking in the world, all the medicines in the world are not THE ANSWER, (they may be part of the journey, part of the process), but our CHOICE IS WHAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!! I can choose to continue living life my way or I can chose to surrender to the One Who Knows Everything! Not much of a choice as far as I can see...CHOOSE HIM! Life, abundant life, joy, peace, hope, forgiveness, love, grace, mercy...as opposed to death, depression, stress, agony, desperation, bitterness, resentment, un-forgiveness, paying the penalty myself! Yep, only one right choice! Get help; whatever you need; but make the choice to surrender to Christ first and follow His lead as you get that help.
Please, if you are living in a pit of despair, stressed and trying to manage life on your own...it does not work! Even if you are already a believer in Christ, saved and sure stop living in bondage; stop trying to fix it on your own. He is the only one who can help. He gives us wonderful people in our lives, resources, doctors etc. but until we choose, until we really deep down, gut level choose transformation and change is only fleeting and it is only a portion of what He really wants to do. Jesus is a gentleman, He does not force Himself on us but He asks, Revelation 3:20. Can you grasp that? He wants to be with you, with me! He wants to live life with us! Trust me, His life is the better choice. If you don't know Him, you really need to! And if you know Him; how about being known by Him and experiencing a more intimate relationship with the One who loves You best and never ever tires of you, never ever leaves you and who actually delights in you!
I want to be who He wants me to be. I want to wait and let Him show me; as hard as that is. I do not want to get busy about 'church,' about 'programs,' about 'stuff' any longer. I want to know Him in the power of His resurrection and walk in His ways and not fulfill the lusts of my flesh! Galatians 5:16
I had better stop and get busy with something else besides words today ;-D
Father God, thank You for who You are! Have Your will and way in us! Get and keep our attention and help us to obey!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
The Exception? NOPE!
The word exception is on my mind today. Exception - the act of excepting or the fact of being excepted; something expected; an instance or case not conforming to the general rule. Why, you might ask? Well, Romans 8:1 came to my attention this morning, 'Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus.' With this verse I began to wonder why I often consider myself the exception and the realization that I do this more often than not! This is not a good thing; this is pride at its very root and I am only just seeing it as such. Who am I to think that I am the only one that God's Word does not apply to, or that maybe I am just a little bit condemned? I mean, if you really knew me deep inside, you would probably condemn me too. But WAIT, His Word says there is NO CONDEMNATION THAT EXISTS FOR THOSE IN CHRIST JESUS! Not a little bit, not a lot a bit; absolutely NONE! HOW??? Look at verse 2 of Romans 8, 'because the Spirit's law of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.'
Are you getting this with me? Do you see the totality of it? JESUS HAS SET ME FREE! I am not the exception; nor are you! And why in the world would I want to be??? This is how I often live my life though in the day to day. I hang my head, I feel disappointed with myself and I allow myself to be convinced that I am not worthy of this freedom and of this abundant life! IT IS NOT ABOUT ME BEING WORTHY EVER! I AM NOT WORTHY IN MY OWN STRENGTH, IN MY OWN ACTIONS; BUT BECAUSE OF JESUS I AM ACCEPTED! I AM NOW WORTHY ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I AM HIS! He did the work and yet so often I fall right back into the trap of thinking that I must do something else! Colossians 2:9-10 tells me I have been given the 'fullness of God's nature." Hebrews 10:14 says, 'For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are sanctified!' Perfected means to be made complete and sanctified means we have been set apart. Jesus does this for us and so much more!
Why do I spend so much time believing the lies of the enemy and my flesh? Do I like to be depressed? Do I like to be defeated? Do I like drama? Do I ??? I want out of this trap! I want to spend more of my days recognizing Jesus and His work in my life than I do giving in to the old habits and lies of the enemy. I am not dead in my trespasses and sins anymore! Ephesians 2:8, For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift! I am alive, fully alive in Christ and I need to live like it! Philippians 1:6 tells me that I can be sure that He is at work; am I? Yes, I am and where I am weak I want to be sure and strong! "I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." He started the work and He will complete it...I can rest in that knowledge! He is trustworthy! He is faithful! Remember? His faithfulness is GREAT, Lamentations 3:23! His love is UNFAILING, Psalm 117:2! His grace is FREELY GIVEN, Ephesians 1:6! His mercy is ABUNDANT, Ephesians 2:4!
Father God, thank You for Your truth! Thank You, Jesus for the work You did on the cross and that You didn't stop there, but You rose from the grave to give me life! Forgive me for thinking I was the exception, for thinking that there are qualifications on Your gift! For not accepting what You say as the full truth! Forgive me for living with my head down, condemned and defeated when You have set me free! You lift my head and You give me victory! May I walk through this day as You lead! May I step out of the way and simply obey! Please Holy Spirit, forgive me for grieving You, for quenching You in my life! May You open my eyes, my ears, soften my heart and renew my mind! Help me to place my eyes on You and Your work! Help me to rest, truly rest in knowing that You have me, You are at work and You will never leave me! I am Your beloved! I am Your princess! I am Your daughter! I am Yours and nothing else matters! Help me to truly walk in the truth of this! You be in charge and when I am tempted to fall, to take over once again or to give in to my thoughts, fears, etc. I pray that You will get my attention quickly and that You alone will be Lord of my life! Thank You for Your Word and thank You for the book Classic Christianity that has thrust me into Your Word in ways I have never been before! Thank You, too, for Jason Gray and his music, for using it to encourage me and allowing me to worship You with it! "Remind Me Who I Am!" Jesus, throughout this day and beyond! I love You and I praise You because You alone are worthy to be praised!!!
Are you getting this with me? Do you see the totality of it? JESUS HAS SET ME FREE! I am not the exception; nor are you! And why in the world would I want to be??? This is how I often live my life though in the day to day. I hang my head, I feel disappointed with myself and I allow myself to be convinced that I am not worthy of this freedom and of this abundant life! IT IS NOT ABOUT ME BEING WORTHY EVER! I AM NOT WORTHY IN MY OWN STRENGTH, IN MY OWN ACTIONS; BUT BECAUSE OF JESUS I AM ACCEPTED! I AM NOW WORTHY ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I AM HIS! He did the work and yet so often I fall right back into the trap of thinking that I must do something else! Colossians 2:9-10 tells me I have been given the 'fullness of God's nature." Hebrews 10:14 says, 'For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are sanctified!' Perfected means to be made complete and sanctified means we have been set apart. Jesus does this for us and so much more!
Why do I spend so much time believing the lies of the enemy and my flesh? Do I like to be depressed? Do I like to be defeated? Do I like drama? Do I ??? I want out of this trap! I want to spend more of my days recognizing Jesus and His work in my life than I do giving in to the old habits and lies of the enemy. I am not dead in my trespasses and sins anymore! Ephesians 2:8, For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift! I am alive, fully alive in Christ and I need to live like it! Philippians 1:6 tells me that I can be sure that He is at work; am I? Yes, I am and where I am weak I want to be sure and strong! "I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." He started the work and He will complete it...I can rest in that knowledge! He is trustworthy! He is faithful! Remember? His faithfulness is GREAT, Lamentations 3:23! His love is UNFAILING, Psalm 117:2! His grace is FREELY GIVEN, Ephesians 1:6! His mercy is ABUNDANT, Ephesians 2:4!
Father God, thank You for Your truth! Thank You, Jesus for the work You did on the cross and that You didn't stop there, but You rose from the grave to give me life! Forgive me for thinking I was the exception, for thinking that there are qualifications on Your gift! For not accepting what You say as the full truth! Forgive me for living with my head down, condemned and defeated when You have set me free! You lift my head and You give me victory! May I walk through this day as You lead! May I step out of the way and simply obey! Please Holy Spirit, forgive me for grieving You, for quenching You in my life! May You open my eyes, my ears, soften my heart and renew my mind! Help me to place my eyes on You and Your work! Help me to rest, truly rest in knowing that You have me, You are at work and You will never leave me! I am Your beloved! I am Your princess! I am Your daughter! I am Yours and nothing else matters! Help me to truly walk in the truth of this! You be in charge and when I am tempted to fall, to take over once again or to give in to my thoughts, fears, etc. I pray that You will get my attention quickly and that You alone will be Lord of my life! Thank You for Your Word and thank You for the book Classic Christianity that has thrust me into Your Word in ways I have never been before! Thank You, too, for Jason Gray and his music, for using it to encourage me and allowing me to worship You with it! "Remind Me Who I Am!" Jesus, throughout this day and beyond! I love You and I praise You because You alone are worthy to be praised!!!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Matthew 11:28-30
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you will recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28-30 The Message.
Come to Me all of you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. All of you take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 HCSB.
Thoughts, quotes and paraphrasing from Charles H. Spurgeon's sermon on Matthew 11:28-30: (2 types of rest) First, invited to receive rest = ALL. The description of the person invited is both active and passive. "All ye that labor" refers to the activity of bearing the yoke and ready to labor after salvation. "Heavy-laden" refers to the passive condition where a burden is sustaines they are pressed down and sorely wearied by the load they bear. (All this refers to our performance, to endeavoring to save ourselves.) "In effect the Saviour tells them, 'This is not the way to rest, your self-imposed labors will end in disappointment; cease your wearisome exertions, and believe in me, for I will at once give you rest--the rest which my laborers have earned for believers.'" Rest is given, not earned; it is a gift of His grace. Next the precept, "Come." It is not "Learn" but "Come"; to come is to leave one thing and to advance to another. "Come, then ye laboring and heavy laden, leave your legal labors, leave your self-reliant efforts, leave your sins, leave your presumptions, leave all in which you hitherto have trusted, and come to Jesus; advance towards and rely upon the Saviour." "Repentance and faith make up this "Come"- the repentance which leaves that place where you now stand, the faith which comes into reliance upon Jesus." Come is present tense and means come now and He says come to Me, Jesus, period. "Observe it is nothing but that one word, "Come." It is not "Do;" it is not even "Learn." It is not, "Take up my yoke," that will follow after, but must never be forced out of its proper place. TO OBTAIN THIS REST, WHICH IS A MATTER OF GIFT - all that is asked of you is that you come to have it. Next it is a rest given freely by Jesus; we possess it at once and it is ours forever. It is a present rest. 'It is perfect and complete in itself. In the blood and righteousness of Jesus our peace is perfect.' 'I will give you rest' comes before, "Ye shall find rest." Second, is the rest of one who is already at rest, the one who has received a given rest and now discovers the found rest. It is the rest of a learner - "Learn of me, and ye shall find rest." This refers to the day to day learning at the Saviour's feet. You have rest from your burden; now you find a rest, in Christ, which exceeds what you asked or even thought. It is also a rest in service. The Christian will not find rest in being idle. "True rest to the mind of the child of God is rest on the wing, rest in emotion, rest in service, not rest with the yoke off, but with the yoke on." Do not merely submit to be the Lord's servant, but seek his service. Ask, 'What can I do' and be desirous to do it voluntarily. Bear Christ's burden, which is his cross - expect to be reproached, etc. Then rest through learning, it is implied that in order to learn of Christ we must lay aside all prejudices of the past, those things that proven our finding peace; any preconceived notions of what religion should be. Learn from his example to be "meek and lowly in heart," and then you will "find rest unto your souls." Meek - not proud, not defending self, not irritated, discouraged or inclined to do no more because of lack of appreciation; the meek spirit goes on working and is not offended. "The lowly heart says, 'Not my will but thine be done; let God be glorified in me." Jesus says, 'for I am meek and lowly in heart;' as if to show that as believers grow in grace, and enjoy more rest, they see more of Jesus and know more of him." Conclusion: If you find rest to your souls you will not be moved by the judgment of me. If you learn of Jesus you will have rest from the fear of men. Next you will be delivered from fretfulness at want of success. Learning of Jesus we too shall rest; we shall rejoice in whatever the Lord determines and we shall thank God for all he ordains. Think about this, "The Saviour says to us, 'I am bearing one end of the yoke on my shoulder; come, my disciple, place your neck under the other side of it, and then learn of me. Keep step with me, be as I am, do as I do. I am meek and lowly in heart; your heart must be like mine, and then we will work together in blessed fellowship, and you will find that working with me is a happy thing; for my yoke is easy to me, and will be to you. Come, then true yoke-fellow, come and be yoked with me, take my yoke upon you, and learn of me."
Wow, I know that is a lot (trust me, there was a whole lot more ;) but wow! As much as I want to go on, I will stop. You read the Word and allow Him to teach you what He wants. I will do the same.
Father God, thank You for Your Word and thank You for those that love You that have gone before us. May we come to You, recognizing that is all You require and that You even provide the ability and strength we need to come. Rest is so hard to grasp in our world, Lord. We think we know what it is when all along we do not. Please help us to realize that we can have Your rest and that it is counter to what we think of as rest. It is a gift given by You that is complete in and of itself, not something to strive for but to receive. God, our entire lives we are taught that we must do, that we need to perform, that we need to behave a certain way and it just isn't true. We work so hard to be a certain way when all along we need to work on receiving, learning to come, at surrendering and repenting. Help us to receive Your grace and learn to walk with You. God for me personally, I need to quit trying so hard to be pleasing and accept that I am pleasing to You because of Jesus. I need to get busy about what You have for me; help me to know what that is as I have spent my life being busy about so many of the wrong things. Forgive me God for being so hard-headed and stubborn and for being unwilling to trust You and that what You say is truth for me and that Your rest is given completely not in stages or in part. May I learn to walk with You and obey Your lead, not my own thoughts or opinions or those of others. May I step out of my self-imposed ideas of what it means to bear Your burden and even to rest and may I be willing to obey You. Give me ears to hear and eyes to see, Lord and the ability to experience the rest that comes from You alone.
Come to Me all of you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. All of you take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 HCSB.
Thoughts, quotes and paraphrasing from Charles H. Spurgeon's sermon on Matthew 11:28-30: (2 types of rest) First, invited to receive rest = ALL. The description of the person invited is both active and passive. "All ye that labor" refers to the activity of bearing the yoke and ready to labor after salvation. "Heavy-laden" refers to the passive condition where a burden is sustaines they are pressed down and sorely wearied by the load they bear. (All this refers to our performance, to endeavoring to save ourselves.) "In effect the Saviour tells them, 'This is not the way to rest, your self-imposed labors will end in disappointment; cease your wearisome exertions, and believe in me, for I will at once give you rest--the rest which my laborers have earned for believers.'" Rest is given, not earned; it is a gift of His grace. Next the precept, "Come." It is not "Learn" but "Come"; to come is to leave one thing and to advance to another. "Come, then ye laboring and heavy laden, leave your legal labors, leave your self-reliant efforts, leave your sins, leave your presumptions, leave all in which you hitherto have trusted, and come to Jesus; advance towards and rely upon the Saviour." "Repentance and faith make up this "Come"- the repentance which leaves that place where you now stand, the faith which comes into reliance upon Jesus." Come is present tense and means come now and He says come to Me, Jesus, period. "Observe it is nothing but that one word, "Come." It is not "Do;" it is not even "Learn." It is not, "Take up my yoke," that will follow after, but must never be forced out of its proper place. TO OBTAIN THIS REST, WHICH IS A MATTER OF GIFT - all that is asked of you is that you come to have it. Next it is a rest given freely by Jesus; we possess it at once and it is ours forever. It is a present rest. 'It is perfect and complete in itself. In the blood and righteousness of Jesus our peace is perfect.' 'I will give you rest' comes before, "Ye shall find rest." Second, is the rest of one who is already at rest, the one who has received a given rest and now discovers the found rest. It is the rest of a learner - "Learn of me, and ye shall find rest." This refers to the day to day learning at the Saviour's feet. You have rest from your burden; now you find a rest, in Christ, which exceeds what you asked or even thought. It is also a rest in service. The Christian will not find rest in being idle. "True rest to the mind of the child of God is rest on the wing, rest in emotion, rest in service, not rest with the yoke off, but with the yoke on." Do not merely submit to be the Lord's servant, but seek his service. Ask, 'What can I do' and be desirous to do it voluntarily. Bear Christ's burden, which is his cross - expect to be reproached, etc. Then rest through learning, it is implied that in order to learn of Christ we must lay aside all prejudices of the past, those things that proven our finding peace; any preconceived notions of what religion should be. Learn from his example to be "meek and lowly in heart," and then you will "find rest unto your souls." Meek - not proud, not defending self, not irritated, discouraged or inclined to do no more because of lack of appreciation; the meek spirit goes on working and is not offended. "The lowly heart says, 'Not my will but thine be done; let God be glorified in me." Jesus says, 'for I am meek and lowly in heart;' as if to show that as believers grow in grace, and enjoy more rest, they see more of Jesus and know more of him." Conclusion: If you find rest to your souls you will not be moved by the judgment of me. If you learn of Jesus you will have rest from the fear of men. Next you will be delivered from fretfulness at want of success. Learning of Jesus we too shall rest; we shall rejoice in whatever the Lord determines and we shall thank God for all he ordains. Think about this, "The Saviour says to us, 'I am bearing one end of the yoke on my shoulder; come, my disciple, place your neck under the other side of it, and then learn of me. Keep step with me, be as I am, do as I do. I am meek and lowly in heart; your heart must be like mine, and then we will work together in blessed fellowship, and you will find that working with me is a happy thing; for my yoke is easy to me, and will be to you. Come, then true yoke-fellow, come and be yoked with me, take my yoke upon you, and learn of me."
Wow, I know that is a lot (trust me, there was a whole lot more ;) but wow! As much as I want to go on, I will stop. You read the Word and allow Him to teach you what He wants. I will do the same.
Father God, thank You for Your Word and thank You for those that love You that have gone before us. May we come to You, recognizing that is all You require and that You even provide the ability and strength we need to come. Rest is so hard to grasp in our world, Lord. We think we know what it is when all along we do not. Please help us to realize that we can have Your rest and that it is counter to what we think of as rest. It is a gift given by You that is complete in and of itself, not something to strive for but to receive. God, our entire lives we are taught that we must do, that we need to perform, that we need to behave a certain way and it just isn't true. We work so hard to be a certain way when all along we need to work on receiving, learning to come, at surrendering and repenting. Help us to receive Your grace and learn to walk with You. God for me personally, I need to quit trying so hard to be pleasing and accept that I am pleasing to You because of Jesus. I need to get busy about what You have for me; help me to know what that is as I have spent my life being busy about so many of the wrong things. Forgive me God for being so hard-headed and stubborn and for being unwilling to trust You and that what You say is truth for me and that Your rest is given completely not in stages or in part. May I learn to walk with You and obey Your lead, not my own thoughts or opinions or those of others. May I step out of my self-imposed ideas of what it means to bear Your burden and even to rest and may I be willing to obey You. Give me ears to hear and eyes to see, Lord and the ability to experience the rest that comes from You alone.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Turmoil...Drama...Need...Surrender
You ever just wake up foul? I mean in a really bad mood and wearing your feelings on your sleeves and it seems the longer you fight it the madder you get? Just wondering because that is where I am this morning. I am just foul. I probably shouldn't even blog as my attitude is that bad. I have been trying to pray and reading the Word this morning but my attitude just keeps on building. Now, here is the thing I hope to accomplish with this transparent, irritating blog. I hope to walk with the Lord on the journey He has placed me on in His way and therefore I must share the good, the bad and the ugly. My life is often a roller coaster. I have more trouble with my emotions than I would even like to admit; however this seems to be my thorn, my opportunity to continue looking to the Lord, even when I just want to rail and scream at the injustice of my feelings! So if you don't want to be a part of this whine-fest I certainly understand, me either; but I am determined to go to the Lord and see what He will do. I am quite certain that I need to be smacked, my attitude is that bad, but I am sure that I need His grace, mercy and love as well and I am thankful that He doesn't response to me in the same way that I come to Him! So here we go...
Psalm 116
1) I love the LORD because He has heard my appeal for mercy.
2) Because He has turned His ear to me, I will call out to Him as long as I live.
3) The ropes of death were wrapped around me, and the torments of Sheol overcame me; I
encountered trouble and sorrow.
4) Then I called on the name of the LORD: 'LORD, save me!'
5) The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is compassionate.
6) The LORD guards the inexperienced; I was helpless, and He saved me.
7) Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
8) For You, LORD, rescued me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
9) I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
10) I believed when I said, 'I am severely afflicted.'
11) In my alarm I said, 'Everyone is a liar.'
12) How can I repeat the LORD all the good He has done for me?
13) I will take the cup of salvation and worship the LORD.
14) I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people.
15) The death of His faithful ones is valuable in the LORD's sight.
16) LORD, I am indeed Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of Your female servant. You
have loosened my bonds.
17) I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and will worship the LORD.
18) I will fulfill my vows to the LORD, in the very presence of all HIs people,
19) in the courts of the LORD's house--within you, Jerusalem. Hallelujah!
I began this Psalm thinking I would look at parts of it when the Lord had me continue to type it all out. I am not okay this morning. I am tearful, I am angry and I am frustrated because I am tearful and angry. The fact is the anger is directed at myself but it is wanting to lash out at whoever comes in my path. This is wrong and I know it, again, I am attempting to work through it. I am weary, I am tired and I need that rest that God provides. Psalm 43:5 covers it well, "WHY AM I SO DEPRESSED? WHY THIS TURMOIL WITHIN ME?" The rest of verse 5 tells me to 'put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God.'
It all goes back to choices doesn't it? This makes me mad too! I am tired of trying to make the right choices and then being overwhelmed with this enormous weight of emotion from out of nowhere! The enemy knows that in this area is one of my greatest weaknesses and he is continually playing upon that fact. 1 Peter 5:6-11 gives me great hope. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." Okay so time to stop complaining, make a choice and apply what God says.
Father God, I come to You this morning, foul. That is the only way I know how to describe it. I am irritable and I want to be. Such a bad attitude and yet I don't want it at the same time; how do You deal with that. I am aggravated that I am aggravated and yet what sense does that make??? I want to know Why? I want to not be like this anymore! I am so tired of this up and down roller coaster of emotions and the lack of control that I seem to have. I am full of turmoil this morning and for what reason??? Help me to stop griping and turn to You. Help me to truly desire change despite how I feel this morning. I do not want to journey my way; I know Your way is better, but the fight this morning is big. Help me to surrender to You. Help me to submit the hurts - real and imagined. Help me to confess my part in the hurts, the lack of gratefulness and the discontent. God, help me to stop fighting, to stop resisting You and instead resist the enemy. I pray that in the Name of Jesus, You would bind him from being able to continue to whisper the lies in my mind. May I reject them and him. Forgive me for this anger, for this fight that is seemingly in control of me this morning. It angers me that my emotions are so big and that I have such trouble taking my thoughts captive. Help me to accept Your acceptance, Your love, Your mercy, Your grace and Your peace this morning, Lord. Forgive me for so often getting in Your way. Use me in spite of me; change me in spite of me. I do love You, Lord and I am thankful that You hear my appeal for mercy! Thank You for allowing me to call out to You in whatever shape I am in. I am in torment and I do not understand it but I declare that I trust You and that You will not leave me here in it. I will continue to call upon Your name and I know that You will save me! I am thankful that You have delivered my soul, that I have eternal life and even though this life is hard I have that promise to hold on to and wait for. I know You are gracious, righteous and compassionate; You would have to be to continually put up with me! I need help returning to Your rest; I need to be rescued from myself, from these bad habits and automatic responses that I have lived with for so long. I need You to give me Your eyes. I need to see myself as You do and also to quit focusing on myself! I so want to look to You and You alone. This battle is intense and I know that I am to be still, stop fighting and cease striving but all I know is that up until lately to fight for survival is what I have known. Help me to fight the right things, like the enemy, my mind and these tendencies rather than those around me or insist upon beating myself to a pulp. You, LORD, are so good to me! I know You have rescued me from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from stumbling and You will do so again. May I release it all to You. May I stop trying to figure 'it' out and trust; and rest. May I chose to worship You. May I chose to offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and let go of the 'feeling' that my offering is not worthy. I know I am not worthy in my own strength, but because of You, Jesus, my worth is determined forever. I can no longer be considered worthless, stupid, high-maintenance, ridiculous, too wordy, too detailed, slow, different, inept, or anything else negative that tries to rise up in my mind. I am accepted in the Beloved, in Jesus, Ephesians 1:6. I have been made righteous because, You, God have clothed me in Jesus' righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). I will praise You and thank You because You are love. You love me because of who You are not because of who I am. Help me to humble myself before You, truly, and cast all this care upon You. Help me to be sober and alert and able to resist the enemy by standing firm in my faith, by knowing the Truth of Your Word and allowing Your Truth to set me free (John 8:32). I thank You that You, Lord, will restore me, revive me and make me steadfast, firm and strong. Help me to get out of Your way so that You can have Your way in me, Lord. Please God, loose the chains that hold me captive, may I look to You and You alone for my hope.
Psalm 116
1) I love the LORD because He has heard my appeal for mercy.
2) Because He has turned His ear to me, I will call out to Him as long as I live.
3) The ropes of death were wrapped around me, and the torments of Sheol overcame me; I
encountered trouble and sorrow.
4) Then I called on the name of the LORD: 'LORD, save me!'
5) The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is compassionate.
6) The LORD guards the inexperienced; I was helpless, and He saved me.
7) Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
8) For You, LORD, rescued me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
9) I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
10) I believed when I said, 'I am severely afflicted.'
11) In my alarm I said, 'Everyone is a liar.'
12) How can I repeat the LORD all the good He has done for me?
13) I will take the cup of salvation and worship the LORD.
14) I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people.
15) The death of His faithful ones is valuable in the LORD's sight.
16) LORD, I am indeed Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of Your female servant. You
have loosened my bonds.
17) I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and will worship the LORD.
18) I will fulfill my vows to the LORD, in the very presence of all HIs people,
19) in the courts of the LORD's house--within you, Jerusalem. Hallelujah!
I began this Psalm thinking I would look at parts of it when the Lord had me continue to type it all out. I am not okay this morning. I am tearful, I am angry and I am frustrated because I am tearful and angry. The fact is the anger is directed at myself but it is wanting to lash out at whoever comes in my path. This is wrong and I know it, again, I am attempting to work through it. I am weary, I am tired and I need that rest that God provides. Psalm 43:5 covers it well, "WHY AM I SO DEPRESSED? WHY THIS TURMOIL WITHIN ME?" The rest of verse 5 tells me to 'put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God.'
It all goes back to choices doesn't it? This makes me mad too! I am tired of trying to make the right choices and then being overwhelmed with this enormous weight of emotion from out of nowhere! The enemy knows that in this area is one of my greatest weaknesses and he is continually playing upon that fact. 1 Peter 5:6-11 gives me great hope. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." Okay so time to stop complaining, make a choice and apply what God says.
Father God, I come to You this morning, foul. That is the only way I know how to describe it. I am irritable and I want to be. Such a bad attitude and yet I don't want it at the same time; how do You deal with that. I am aggravated that I am aggravated and yet what sense does that make??? I want to know Why? I want to not be like this anymore! I am so tired of this up and down roller coaster of emotions and the lack of control that I seem to have. I am full of turmoil this morning and for what reason??? Help me to stop griping and turn to You. Help me to truly desire change despite how I feel this morning. I do not want to journey my way; I know Your way is better, but the fight this morning is big. Help me to surrender to You. Help me to submit the hurts - real and imagined. Help me to confess my part in the hurts, the lack of gratefulness and the discontent. God, help me to stop fighting, to stop resisting You and instead resist the enemy. I pray that in the Name of Jesus, You would bind him from being able to continue to whisper the lies in my mind. May I reject them and him. Forgive me for this anger, for this fight that is seemingly in control of me this morning. It angers me that my emotions are so big and that I have such trouble taking my thoughts captive. Help me to accept Your acceptance, Your love, Your mercy, Your grace and Your peace this morning, Lord. Forgive me for so often getting in Your way. Use me in spite of me; change me in spite of me. I do love You, Lord and I am thankful that You hear my appeal for mercy! Thank You for allowing me to call out to You in whatever shape I am in. I am in torment and I do not understand it but I declare that I trust You and that You will not leave me here in it. I will continue to call upon Your name and I know that You will save me! I am thankful that You have delivered my soul, that I have eternal life and even though this life is hard I have that promise to hold on to and wait for. I know You are gracious, righteous and compassionate; You would have to be to continually put up with me! I need help returning to Your rest; I need to be rescued from myself, from these bad habits and automatic responses that I have lived with for so long. I need You to give me Your eyes. I need to see myself as You do and also to quit focusing on myself! I so want to look to You and You alone. This battle is intense and I know that I am to be still, stop fighting and cease striving but all I know is that up until lately to fight for survival is what I have known. Help me to fight the right things, like the enemy, my mind and these tendencies rather than those around me or insist upon beating myself to a pulp. You, LORD, are so good to me! I know You have rescued me from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from stumbling and You will do so again. May I release it all to You. May I stop trying to figure 'it' out and trust; and rest. May I chose to worship You. May I chose to offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and let go of the 'feeling' that my offering is not worthy. I know I am not worthy in my own strength, but because of You, Jesus, my worth is determined forever. I can no longer be considered worthless, stupid, high-maintenance, ridiculous, too wordy, too detailed, slow, different, inept, or anything else negative that tries to rise up in my mind. I am accepted in the Beloved, in Jesus, Ephesians 1:6. I have been made righteous because, You, God have clothed me in Jesus' righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). I will praise You and thank You because You are love. You love me because of who You are not because of who I am. Help me to humble myself before You, truly, and cast all this care upon You. Help me to be sober and alert and able to resist the enemy by standing firm in my faith, by knowing the Truth of Your Word and allowing Your Truth to set me free (John 8:32). I thank You that You, Lord, will restore me, revive me and make me steadfast, firm and strong. Help me to get out of Your way so that You can have Your way in me, Lord. Please God, loose the chains that hold me captive, may I look to You and You alone for my hope.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Forgetting and Pursuing?
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
The Lord has been reminding me of these verses in the past few days. As a young person around 17 He first revealed Himself to me in these verses. I held on to them for several years and then I think I just sort of moved on without really grasping that I needed to know what goal I was pursuing...I had focused on the 'forgetting part and the fact that heaven was my goal. Wrongly, I might add. I have missed out on living the abundant life Christ has for me here because of wrong focus! Thankfully, I am more mature in many ways than I was at 17; however I find that in my supposed diligence to 'be godly' and 'be the 'best wife and mom' etc that I could be I had misplaced the goal that God has called me to. The goal is found in verses 10 and 11 of chapter 13, 'I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of His resurrection and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow attaining to the resurrection from the dead.'
Hold on as I get excited ;D
I am just now clearly seeing that I have spent years pursuing the wrong goals, though my heart's desire was right and was to be like Christ, I have been more focused on me! I mean I have occasionally tried to pursue Christ, to know Him and the power of His resurrection, but more often than not I was concerned with what He could do for me to make me a better wife, mom, friend and on and on. Praise God, He finally has my full attention! Oh, I have a long way to go but finally I see that is what it means to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD! Psalm 46:10. To know Him, period. To be concerned with nothing but knowing Him. (Now just because I say I see it does not mean I have the application down pat ;) I just know that I am to seek Him and He takes care of the rest! He always has, (I would state it with passion; however I did not live it with conviction!) I have just made myself a 'basket case' trying to help Him! Absurd!!! Misplaced!!! Ridiculous!!!
But Praise His Holy Name He is faithful, He is forgiving and He is pouring out His mercy and grace upon me!!! He is at work and He has my attention in ways that He never has before!
Look at these verses with me... Do I really want to know Christ? Can I state, like Paul, that yes, I want to know the power of His resurrection? Wait, there is more -- and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death. What??? Here it is, if I want to know Christ, truly know Him in the power of His resurrection I must die to my sin in order to be alive in Christ, to be made new! Bear with me here, I know without a shadow of doubt that I have been saved for many years; however the abundant life is what I have been missing in my pursuit of making every effort to be like Christ rather than surrendering and recognizing that He has hold of me and He will make me more like Him, not anything I can do or not do!!! It is His work and His power, His suffering, His death and His resurrection that is allowing me to forget what is behind and pursue Him! IS ANYBODY GETTING THIS WITH ME??? Praise God, His Truth is setting me free!!! (John 8:32)
I sit here and wonder at Paul, I mean he was instrumental in martyring Stephen, he pursued religion diligently but until he came face to face with Christ everything he did was in his own strength and misguided! How did he forget? How did he put all of these 'deeds' behind him? Another one of my main issues has been to beat myself up, to insist that because I 'knew' better that I 'should' have been different! Instead of receiving the gift of forgiveness, mercy and grace, I have continually tried reminding God of my faults, my failings and tried to be better! Now, if you have read any of my previous blogs you know that 'I know better' ;) I mean, I knew the Word, I knew it so far as I was happy to give you grace and you forgiveness, and mercy etc, but for myself, not so much! I was and I am well aware that I can never measure up, that all my righteous acts are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6); however I have spent more time believing the lies of the enemy, being in bondage by my attempts to be godly that I have spent taking God at His Word, truly trusting Him! He is so trustworthy!!! In His mercy He has shown me this over and over and yet I threw it in His face so to speak by trying to 'do' this life on my own!!!
Forgive me God! I am so sorry for the misplaced dedication, diligence and desire! Thank You for opening my eyes for allowing me to finally see that I really can pursue You and You will take care of the rest. I often said it, but only believed it in my head and not in my heart! I tried and did make this life so hard when You had shown me multiple times through the years that truly all I need is You! Please help me to keep my eyes on You, to chase after You as my goal in this race called life. Help me, like Paul, to forget the things of my past, You have and change the way I live moment by moment by knowing You in the power of Your resurrection! May I trust You more each day and when I fall remind me. Help me not to fall back into old habits of beating myself up or setting up unrealistic expectations for myself. Help me to trust You, truly trust You as You alone are completely and utterly trustworthy! Thank You, Father, for refusing to leave me in the state of 'striving' for continually teaching me how to 'stop fighting' and 'be still and know that You are God.' I know I have so far to go, but thank You for this joy, this peace, this hope that I have never experienced before; not like this! Transform me in the day to day choices that I make. Guide me and show me how to rest in trusting You but strive for You at the same time, to recognize You are holding me and You will never ever let go! Forgive me, Jesus, for kicking so hard against You and at the same time begging You to help me! Help me to surrender in the day by day when You tell me to get up and go, may I listen and obey to You and You alone, not my own opinions, ideas or plans, but to You! Please God get our attention! May we stop giving in to the lies of the enemy, of thinking that the things of this world and even pleasing the people that we love is more important than pursuing You! May we spend our energy focusing on You and trusting You to take care of the rest! You will, I know it! I have experienced it over and over!
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
The Lord has been reminding me of these verses in the past few days. As a young person around 17 He first revealed Himself to me in these verses. I held on to them for several years and then I think I just sort of moved on without really grasping that I needed to know what goal I was pursuing...I had focused on the 'forgetting part and the fact that heaven was my goal. Wrongly, I might add. I have missed out on living the abundant life Christ has for me here because of wrong focus! Thankfully, I am more mature in many ways than I was at 17; however I find that in my supposed diligence to 'be godly' and 'be the 'best wife and mom' etc that I could be I had misplaced the goal that God has called me to. The goal is found in verses 10 and 11 of chapter 13, 'I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of His resurrection and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow attaining to the resurrection from the dead.'
Hold on as I get excited ;D
I am just now clearly seeing that I have spent years pursuing the wrong goals, though my heart's desire was right and was to be like Christ, I have been more focused on me! I mean I have occasionally tried to pursue Christ, to know Him and the power of His resurrection, but more often than not I was concerned with what He could do for me to make me a better wife, mom, friend and on and on. Praise God, He finally has my full attention! Oh, I have a long way to go but finally I see that is what it means to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD! Psalm 46:10. To know Him, period. To be concerned with nothing but knowing Him. (Now just because I say I see it does not mean I have the application down pat ;) I just know that I am to seek Him and He takes care of the rest! He always has, (I would state it with passion; however I did not live it with conviction!) I have just made myself a 'basket case' trying to help Him! Absurd!!! Misplaced!!! Ridiculous!!!
But Praise His Holy Name He is faithful, He is forgiving and He is pouring out His mercy and grace upon me!!! He is at work and He has my attention in ways that He never has before!
Look at these verses with me... Do I really want to know Christ? Can I state, like Paul, that yes, I want to know the power of His resurrection? Wait, there is more -- and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death. What??? Here it is, if I want to know Christ, truly know Him in the power of His resurrection I must die to my sin in order to be alive in Christ, to be made new! Bear with me here, I know without a shadow of doubt that I have been saved for many years; however the abundant life is what I have been missing in my pursuit of making every effort to be like Christ rather than surrendering and recognizing that He has hold of me and He will make me more like Him, not anything I can do or not do!!! It is His work and His power, His suffering, His death and His resurrection that is allowing me to forget what is behind and pursue Him! IS ANYBODY GETTING THIS WITH ME??? Praise God, His Truth is setting me free!!! (John 8:32)
I sit here and wonder at Paul, I mean he was instrumental in martyring Stephen, he pursued religion diligently but until he came face to face with Christ everything he did was in his own strength and misguided! How did he forget? How did he put all of these 'deeds' behind him? Another one of my main issues has been to beat myself up, to insist that because I 'knew' better that I 'should' have been different! Instead of receiving the gift of forgiveness, mercy and grace, I have continually tried reminding God of my faults, my failings and tried to be better! Now, if you have read any of my previous blogs you know that 'I know better' ;) I mean, I knew the Word, I knew it so far as I was happy to give you grace and you forgiveness, and mercy etc, but for myself, not so much! I was and I am well aware that I can never measure up, that all my righteous acts are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6); however I have spent more time believing the lies of the enemy, being in bondage by my attempts to be godly that I have spent taking God at His Word, truly trusting Him! He is so trustworthy!!! In His mercy He has shown me this over and over and yet I threw it in His face so to speak by trying to 'do' this life on my own!!!
Forgive me God! I am so sorry for the misplaced dedication, diligence and desire! Thank You for opening my eyes for allowing me to finally see that I really can pursue You and You will take care of the rest. I often said it, but only believed it in my head and not in my heart! I tried and did make this life so hard when You had shown me multiple times through the years that truly all I need is You! Please help me to keep my eyes on You, to chase after You as my goal in this race called life. Help me, like Paul, to forget the things of my past, You have and change the way I live moment by moment by knowing You in the power of Your resurrection! May I trust You more each day and when I fall remind me. Help me not to fall back into old habits of beating myself up or setting up unrealistic expectations for myself. Help me to trust You, truly trust You as You alone are completely and utterly trustworthy! Thank You, Father, for refusing to leave me in the state of 'striving' for continually teaching me how to 'stop fighting' and 'be still and know that You are God.' I know I have so far to go, but thank You for this joy, this peace, this hope that I have never experienced before; not like this! Transform me in the day to day choices that I make. Guide me and show me how to rest in trusting You but strive for You at the same time, to recognize You are holding me and You will never ever let go! Forgive me, Jesus, for kicking so hard against You and at the same time begging You to help me! Help me to surrender in the day by day when You tell me to get up and go, may I listen and obey to You and You alone, not my own opinions, ideas or plans, but to You! Please God get our attention! May we stop giving in to the lies of the enemy, of thinking that the things of this world and even pleasing the people that we love is more important than pursuing You! May we spend our energy focusing on You and trusting You to take care of the rest! You will, I know it! I have experienced it over and over!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Ongoing Journey
"You will never have a changed life until you have experienced the exchanged life. God did not call us to change our lives, but to experience the exchanged life. We give Christ all that we are -- spiritually dead, guilty sinners -- and Christ gives us all that He is -- resurrected life, forgiveness, righteousness, acceptance. Our inheritance is the result of exchanging our identity." Bob George, from Classic Christianity
So blogging is difficult from a mobile device, especially from someone as wordy as me ;) That means this entry will be remarkably short because I just couldn't not share!!!
This book, Classic Christianity, has taken me on a journey into the Word like never before. Finally, God has brought me to a place where I am willing to listen & truly obey! I am so grateful! This journey has been long & hard & full of more hurt than I could have imagined but because of it I know Christ and the power of His resurrection as I never would have before! I have much learning & transformation yet to go but I praise God that He is opening the eyes of my understanding & for the opportunity to share with you!
I am sure this year will be full of many more opportunities for me to learn to trust Him more fully, to truly know what it means to be still, cease striving & stop fighting! I must allow HIS TRUTH, HIS WORD to replace the lies that I have believed & lived for so long. Isaiah 26:3 says, You (God) will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You! And John 8:32 says, Then you will know he Truth, and the a truth will set you free!
I am living proof of this! God in His infinite grace & mercy truly is setting me free with His Truth & helping me to learn to have a mind that is steadfastly focused on Him & thus I am trusting Him more than ever before & as a result experiencing His peace & joy like never before! As you join me on this Journey His Way I do covet your prayers as I continue to learn to submit, trust, rest & know that He is fully in control & that I am not only lived by Him but I am accepted by Him! He wants the same for you! Please join me & see what an Amazing God we serve!
Father God, once again I am blown away, overwhelmed with gratitude for Who You Are & Your love of me! Thank You that You are showing me more & more often just how much I mean to You & that I am truly beginning to grasp what it means to be accepted in the Beloved, in Jesus! That I really can learn to rest, to be still, to cease striving & stop fighting! Forgive me for my hardheadedness and my unwillingness to accept all the You have to offer me! Thank You again for never giving up on me & for being so loving & kind! May I look to You! May I bring You glory! Teach me Lord to continually renew my mind & not fall back into out habits or old bondages! Thank You for Your faithfulness, Your forgiveness, Your mercy, Your love & Your grace!!!
So blogging is difficult from a mobile device, especially from someone as wordy as me ;) That means this entry will be remarkably short because I just couldn't not share!!!
This book, Classic Christianity, has taken me on a journey into the Word like never before. Finally, God has brought me to a place where I am willing to listen & truly obey! I am so grateful! This journey has been long & hard & full of more hurt than I could have imagined but because of it I know Christ and the power of His resurrection as I never would have before! I have much learning & transformation yet to go but I praise God that He is opening the eyes of my understanding & for the opportunity to share with you!
I am sure this year will be full of many more opportunities for me to learn to trust Him more fully, to truly know what it means to be still, cease striving & stop fighting! I must allow HIS TRUTH, HIS WORD to replace the lies that I have believed & lived for so long. Isaiah 26:3 says, You (God) will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You! And John 8:32 says, Then you will know he Truth, and the a truth will set you free!
I am living proof of this! God in His infinite grace & mercy truly is setting me free with His Truth & helping me to learn to have a mind that is steadfastly focused on Him & thus I am trusting Him more than ever before & as a result experiencing His peace & joy like never before! As you join me on this Journey His Way I do covet your prayers as I continue to learn to submit, trust, rest & know that He is fully in control & that I am not only lived by Him but I am accepted by Him! He wants the same for you! Please join me & see what an Amazing God we serve!
Father God, once again I am blown away, overwhelmed with gratitude for Who You Are & Your love of me! Thank You that You are showing me more & more often just how much I mean to You & that I am truly beginning to grasp what it means to be accepted in the Beloved, in Jesus! That I really can learn to rest, to be still, to cease striving & stop fighting! Forgive me for my hardheadedness and my unwillingness to accept all the You have to offer me! Thank You again for never giving up on me & for being so loving & kind! May I look to You! May I bring You glory! Teach me Lord to continually renew my mind & not fall back into out habits or old bondages! Thank You for Your faithfulness, Your forgiveness, Your mercy, Your love & Your grace!!!
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