Joel 2:12-13 "Even now--this is the LORD'S declaration--turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, weeping and mourning. Tear your hearts, not just your clothes, and return to the LORD your God. For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, rich in faithful love..."
Psalm 86:15 You, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and abundant in faithful love and truth.
(Exodus 34:6-7, Numbers 14:18, Nehemiah 9:17, Psalm 103:8)
Recently, I read these verses in Joel and was amazed to find that the description of God there is found in several other places in Scripture. I had never noticed it anywhere but in Psalms I think.
Anyway, I was struck in a big way by WHO GOD IS! He is LORD, Yahweh, the I AM, the Creator of all things and yet He is my God. Mine. Wow. He is gracious - full of grace. I so struggle with comprehending this. I tend to think in terms of conditions...He is unconditional. He is compassionate...even in the face of my rebellion, my ugly, selfish attitudes, He still desires for me to return to Him. To allow Him to express His compassion, His grace for me. To accept Him. To trust Him. He is slow to anger...this is huge to me. I have a temper. I have a strong and passionate opinion about most things and I often prefer to share it rather than not...although thankfully with age I have gotten better about waiting until it isn't flaring hot. At least something good had come out of getting older ;-) Slow to anger...He does not get mad at me and turn away until I straighten up. He does not get mad at me and lash out at me. He does not get mad at me and give up on me. He does correct me. He does convict me. He does allow me to face the consequences of my actions. He is rich in faithful love and truth. Rich in it! He has an excess of it! An abundance! Numbers 14:18 also says He is "forgiving of wrongdoing and rebellion." In Nehemiah 9:17, it says He does not abandon me.
I do not know about you, but this gives me great hope! I am in need of Him. I am often willing to change the outward...'to tear my clothes' so to speak and not 'my heart.' I am realizing more and more that this means I am not changing...I am not truly repentant if it doesn't go all the way to my heart. It isn't about what I do or don't do...it is about the attitude with which I live. He accepts my effort. It is about who He is. Yes, I have a part... I need to repent with 'fasting, weeping and mourning' but the change takes place in is His rescue. What is important is who He is. How do I get to the place where I am willing to repent with the depth that He requires? By looking at how great He is! Then I realize how great I am not!
Father God, forgive me for so often going through the motions...of thinking I should change, this or that. I should do this differently, etc... and not really being willing to recognize and declare that I am nothing without You. Still thinking that I have something I need to be doing instead of looking to You and taking the time to allow You to reveal to me what I need to repent of. Of thinking I am better than I am. Forgive me for taking Your compassion, Your grace, Your faithful and abundant love for granted. For being more concerned with outward appearances and what others think of me than what You think of me. Change me, Lord. Help me to repent with a godly sorrow. To look at You. To focus on You and take my eyes off myself. Thank You for never abandoning me. For allowing me to return again and again from disobedience and welcoming me with open arms. Not only that, but You seek me, You provide the desire to repent. God, You are so amazing. Thank You for allowing me to be Your child. For choosing me. May I share the hope that You have given with others as You lead.
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